(Week 1) What am I missing?

(One day each week as I take my morning walk, I am inviting Jesus to walk along with me, then asking him a question that comes to mind. If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to take a few moments to read yesterday’s post, Can I Ask You Something, Jesus? (Introduction), for a more detailed explanation.)

My first question for Jesus was one that has weighed on me in recent years, this beyond-middle-age time of life.

“What am I missing, Jesus? I mean, what am I missing that YOU would want me to have?”

Karen,
I would want you to have the serenity of my love, and the certainty of me…

I want you to have the serenity that comes from knowing you are beloved, and so be able to go forth in confident peace, with all of the fullness of you, no matter what the future holds. I want my love to provide you with the serenity to take those courageous steps in becoming your true self- without regard for results or successes, without concern for opinions or reactions. I want my love for you to be your true guiding light.  

I want you to have the certainty of me when you write of me. I want you to be able to write of the things I show you, even when they seem absurd or unbelievable. I want you to be so certain of me that you no longer worry about whether people will believe you. I want you to write what you hear me saying and stop questioning whether they are your words or mine.  

I want you to be so certain that I am here, I am working, I am active, that you could write a blog of me that seems crazy enough to scare or intimidate you- but you will feel compelled to write it anyway (like this conversation). To write of something so beyond yourself that you must fully trust it is I, working in you.

You understand that I don’t orchestrate or control people, and instead allow your free will. This is true. But as you open to me, I DO move in your life. I make you more aware and receptive to the gifts around you. For you as a writer, I offer podcasts, Bible passages, friends, books, and thoughts for your inspiration. For your growing areas, I offer wisdom from mistakes, small nudges to action, twinges of guilt for correction, and peaceful feelings to guide your discernment. Your needs are always, always answered. You have only to notice them.

Why do you feel the need to qualify the things that you hear me say? Why do you worry that people might think you are crazy to be hearing from me? If you are truly sure of me, you would have no doubts. Why do you invite my movement and then discount it? You say that you “think” or you “sense” or you “seem like you heard” me. When you hear me, say that you heard me.

I know you are concerned that if you write about what you hear me say, you may sound prideful or privileged, as if you claim to have this unique gift. But trust me… you don’t have any gift beyond or better than anyone else. I’m moving in everyone. You are ordinary. You are beloved. And so is everyone else. This is the invitation you are to extend to others today; to know that I am here, I am loving, I am working in new and surprising ways. In everyone.

And remember… the truth that I reveal in or through you may not be another’s truth. But it IS your truth, your truth in me.

So Karen, what are you missing?

Can you write what I have said to you today? Even more, can you LIVE what I say to you?

Can you live each day in the serenity of being loved by me, fully trusting in the certainty of me? To go out with courage, with joy, with peace…

without a doubt?

(Photo by Karen, taken on a morning walk)