WHAT DO I DO WITH MY ANGER? (#2)

STEP OUT IN FAITH

The first step in our walk of faith is to stop our own works and rest in God’s love, wisdom and power.
~ T. B. Joshua

In last week’s post, I wrote about mindfully choosing to abide with God in these months of dark uncertainty and anger; to center in love and wait patiently for guidance. This has been a needful time to regather my spirit, comfort my hurt, confess my shortcomings, and seek holy perspectives. T. B. Joshua’s words have really resonated with me. But on a list of quotes about guidance * (where I found Joshua’s words), I read another quote that suddenly revealed my next step:

Decide that you are not going to stay where you are. ~ J. P. Morgan

These months of abiding in the darkness have been comforting, restoring–and necessary. But when does “abiding in God” become “holy” procrastinating? When is “patient centering” really an excuse to remain comfortable, or really a cover-up for lack of courage? Because in these months, I have been discounting or declining a few invitations to serve in new ways, keeping my fists clenched in frustration instead of opening my hands to serve. Am I truly deepening in patience and wisdom, or am I timidly avoiding the next step?

I decided to look up scripture verses that address procrastination, and this verse from Ecclesiastes spoke to my soul:

Whoever observes the wind will not sow,
    and whoever regards the clouds will not reap.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NRSVUE)

I must remember that God does not expect perfection but humble and loving service… that taking one step is an opportunity to learn and grow in the exploration… that God and I can change directions if need be… and that waiting for perfect conditions (like the wind and clouds in Ecclesiastes) will only keep me from doing what I can–even from doing what I may be called to do.

My pastor and friend, Darick Biondi, recently shared with me an opportunity to spend time with adults who have special needs in a “SNAP” program hosted by another local church. I would not have envisioned myself serving this way–in an area outside of my main concerns and frustrations–but I am going to take that first step. Maybe doing something, maybe serving in an unexpected way, will be a starting point for the Spirit to transform my anger into more loving and beneficial acts of kindness.

What do I do with my anger?
1. Begin with God.
2. Step out in faith.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. 
(Galatians 5:25 NRSVUE)


* https://www.azquotes.com/
Bible verses found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
Photo by Karen