Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
THE MOUNTAIN AND THE MANGER
In days to come
the mountain of the Lord’s house
shall be established as the highest of the mountains
and shall be raised above the hills;
all the nations shall stream to it.
Many peoples shall come and say,
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between the nations
and shall arbitrate for many peoples;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation;
neither shall they learn war any more.
O house of Jacob,
come, let us walk
in the light of the Lord!
Isaiah 2:2-5
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
These first two weeks of Advent are a time when many of us observe the Hope and Peace of God in Christ. Last week, we lit the Candle of Hope, and this week, we light the Candle of Peace. These Advent observances remind us of the goodness of God made known to us in Christ Jesus; Jesus came to bring our Hope and Peace (and our Joy and Love).
Hope and Peace…
even as my personal life is currently filled with joy and blessing, my heart aches for those who are hurting, grieving, anxious, or lost–the people I learn about in sad and upsetting news stories, as well as a few dear friends who are enduring heartbreaking days. How can they find hope or peace in such troubling, even devastating times?
This reading from Isaiah for the First Sunday of Advent has remained with me as a vision of hope. When everyday life can often feel like an uphill climb, Isaiah’s image of God’s presence on a mountain assures us that the climb will be worth it.
We are on a lifelong journey toward God’s glorious presence “on the mountain,” God’s presence of awe, wonder, and infinite love for all eternity.
This journey of life does not come with an easy, well-marked path. We are likely to encounter surprises, stumble over obstacles, or lose our direction for a while. We will be wounded along the way by deep loss, hurtful acts, broken relationships. But when we envision the mountain of the Lord and anticipate the glorious splendor that awaits us there, we are inspired and strengthened with hope to persevere on our journey.
We are now also on an Advent journey toward God’s humble presence “in the manger,” God’s presence of compassion, humility, and abiding love for us, here and now.
And as we journey through this season, we might be challenged here as well. We can feel discouraged, saddened, doubtful, or distraught, despite our faithfulness. But when we envision the manger of Christ and anticipate the humble birth that promises life anew, we are encouraged and comforted to continue on our journey. The peace of Christ draws us onward to the manger–and accompanies us as we go.
Oh, our journey may not be easy; our path may be an uphill climb. But when we keep our focus on the goodness of God, we can persevere in hope and peace…
the radiant hope that shines before us from the mountain
and the gentle peace that glows upon us from the manger.
May you feel surrounded by infinite hope and peace this week, dear reader friends.
(photo by Karen)
Bible passages are NRSVUE translation, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
ADVENT: A SEASON OF STILLNESS (AND SURPRISES?)
INTRODUCTION
For the past several years, I have felt an increasingly deeper “Advent Ache,” an inner longing for more of God in Christ amid the heartache, worry, and sometimes despair of these days. This year, as I contemplated reflections for the season, I listed some of my soul’s deepest longings (such as peace, patience, hope, purpose, justice) and wondered how God might help me with them. Suddenly the verse from Psalm 46 came to mind:
“Be still and know that I am God.”
It came to me that if I could be still with God, I would be giving God more of my attention and space to work with every longing in my soul.
I sense this invitation to Be Still as a time to be with God just as I am, even when I am carrying heaviness, hurt, or heartache. What might happen if I humbly offer my sorrow, anxiousness, fear, scorn, anger, frustration, or other burdens to God as gifts? What might happen if I prayerfully name and surrender all that is troubling, all that aches within me? Might God be ready to receive my daily burdens, my unattractive qualities, my doubting ways–in order to empty my cluttered soul, to clear space for more of God’s goodness?
More than that, the invitation to Be Still also asks that I let go of my expectations. As I spend time in quiet stillness, I hope to truly let God be God, to set aside my (often short-sighted or selfish) seeking and allow God to fill me as God sees fit. When Mary was told that she would be the mother of Jesus, she too, had been longing. She understood that God had looked with favor on the lowly state of his servant and filled the hungry with good things (Luke 1:48, 53). And Mary was filled with good things–God things–but they were certainly unexpected things, even difficult things! As God looks with favor on my lowliness and fills my every longing, I may be surprised, too. But as I continue preparing my heart and soul for our Celebration of Jesus’s birth, I wonder…
What new thing might God want to be birthed in me?
Bless you this Advent. May you find moments of stillness in which you feel the deepest longings of your soul quieted and fulfilled in unexpected ways.
(Photo by Karen; sunrise in Newberry, SC)
TO KEEP WALKING TOWARD THE HORIZON
Most every morning around 7:00, I begin walking toward the eastern horizon to see the dawning of the new day.
As you can imagine, with the passing seasons my views of the horizon keep changing. At 7:00 in July, the sun was already quite high, but now at the end of October, there is only the promising glow of the sun on its way. Each morning offers a varying palette of color–deep purples and blues, pale yellows, or bright oranges and pinks. There are times when clouds completely hide the sun and other times when they allow a few lovely sunbeams to shine through. On foggy mornings, the blanket of gray lends itself to quiet contemplation. And last week, as I walked in the early morning darkness, the Bridge Park caretaker turned on the parking lot lights for me. The lights washed out my view of the morning sky, but his kindness warmed my heart.
When I first began this practice, my goal was to witness the perfect sunrise as often as possible. I would be disappointed when the sky, the weather, or my schedule kept me from doing so. But over time, this practice of just showing up–for whatever the sky presents–has become a ritual of comfort and peace. I choose to keep walking toward the eastern horizon, but with a new spirit of open curiosity and a grateful acceptance of each different view before me. The sunrise is ever changing, but the regularity and consistency of this discipline are grounding and centering me (before I return to the chaos and concerns of these days).
In a recent gospel reading, we heard the story that Jesus told of a widow and an unjust judge (Luke 18), in which the widow keeps coming before the judge with her pleas for justice, but he remains unwilling to help. She finally pesters him enough that he grows weary and agrees to take care of her request.
My Jim gave an insightful message in which he echoed the words of Jesus, that God is the opposite of this unjust judge. We do not need to pester God, because God is always ready to lovingly hear our prayers, and God already knows what we need. Jim went on to say that the story is about persistence in faith–the kind of faith that keeps trusting when life gives us every reason not to. “Faith isn’t proven by instant answers, it’s proven in persistence,” he added.
Then my thoughts went further…
I considered how persistence in faith and prayer might be like walking toward the dawn. Maybe faithful persistence is to regularly, routinely open my soul to God, with no other purpose except to enter into God’s loving goodness, trusting that God will reveal what I should take in and take with me.
Like my experiences of the morning sky, my time with God may feel foggy or clear, ordinary or striking, disappointing or amazing, uninspiring or wondrous. But whatever is revealed, I will find comfort in the consistency, peace in the present, hope in the promise of another new day. Persisting in faith, I will keep walking toward the eastern horizon. I will keep showing up for time with God, not knowing what might be revealed… but trusting the great Revealer.
Hidden or bright or ordinary or awesome, the rising sun is always radiantly shining.
And so is God.
(Photos by Karen)
THREE SANCTUARIES FOR TURBULENT TIMES
INNER SANCTUARY
Where can we go
in days of tears
and turmoil,
when the world feels
too much with us?
There is an inner sanctuary
we can fill
with solitude and silence,
prayers and petitions,
reflection and release.
Then, filled with presence and peace,
this sanctuary stays with us,
a source of respite
to center our souls.
OUTER SANCTUARY
Where can we go
in days of heartache
and helplessness,
when the world feels
too dark before us?
There is an outer sanctuary
we can find
with sunrises and seasons,
birdsong and blossoms,
rivers and rainbows.
Then, filled with healing and hope,
this sanctuary surrounds us,
a source of renewal
to light our way.
MUTUAL SANCTUARY
Where can we go
in days of hardship and hatred,
when the world feels
too heavy upon us?
There is a mutual sanctuary
we can form
with love and laughter,
compassion and comfort,
service and solidarity.
Then, filled with life and love,
this sanctuary includes us,
a source of refuge
to stand and to support.
(Photos by Karen)
CHRISTMAS, HERE AND NOW
Last weekend, our family gathered for our “Family Christmas,” a tradition that began three years ago when we struggled to find a December day that fit with all of our schedules. We have found that celebrating the holiday in the summer season works well for us–the weather is better for traveling, the little ones are more likely to be healthy (avoiding the cold and flu season), we can spread out to the back porch when we need a little space, and then in December, each family can have a more restful time with their own families and traditions. Grammy and Grampy do all of the usual festive holiday preparations. We decorate, wrap gifts, make lots of food, and bake cookies! (In December, we keep it simple, with just a few nativity crèches and candles on the altar table.)
Our celebration is now over, but I have decided to leave the decorations up for a while. Because, even as it feels incongruous to have snowmen displayed (especially with this heat), I need this joyous holiday feeling to linger.
Our country and world feel so very heavy, and while I am trying to help make a difference where I can, I’m also finding respite from our worries and concerns as I keep the joy of the holiday with us. I’m reliving our precious family moments, the memories made, the laughter shared. I’m sitting quietly with the festive lights and colorful decorations that brighten our home, now that our pace has slowed. I’m smiling along with our mail carrier when he sees the snowmen on our porch, and I’m appreciating the way our neighbors added to the spirit of the season. Peggy made us tasty cookies and fudge, Connie took family photos, and Cindy texted us Christmas and New Year greetings!
But I’m especially holding on to the best gift of all–Jesus, who knows very well the hardships and heartaches of this life, who continues to be with us, here and now–and perhaps now more than ever. I’m holding on to his life’s example, his teachings, and his guidance for the living of these days. I’m holding on to the love of Christ, the love in which we can abide, celebrate, trust, find comfort, and be grateful, even in these especially challenging times.
I’m holding on to the truth that God’s love is infinite, steadfast, generous, and eternal–for every season of our lives.
Joyous Christmas, dear friends. Peace be with you all.
Love,
Karen 🙂
(Photos by Karen)
THE INVITATIONS IN THE MOMENTS
Up until this morning, I had no ideas for my weekly blog. These weeks have been busier than usual, filled with delightful days but with much less free time. So, as I was drinking my morning coffee, I went through my emails and caught up on a few posts from some of my favorite writers. When several of them offered similar messages, each one resonating and inspiring me, I knew I was receiving a holy invitation to be attentive, to explore my soul for new revelations.
In her post, “Savor,” my friend Laura B. writes of the challenging days that she and her husband have faced recently (house repairs after a recent storm and concern for their dear dog, Bonnie). But she then describes the joy she experiences as a hummingbird sips the nectar she offers. Laura continues: “What do we do with moments like these? The days are filled with stress and strife and when the light comes with thrumming wings, it gives our bodies and our brains a much-needed lift to savor, contemplate, and spend a few minutes in gratitude for these fleeting gifts.” 1
I then read a post by Dr. Kelly Flanagan, “Don’t Miss the Sacredness of Any Moment…” He humbly describes a family trip in which he let smaller disappointments keep him from seeing all the blessings of his precious family time. “Don’t miss the sacredness of any moment by wishing it was some other way.” 2
Finally, in “Divine Messengers,” Victoria Fann writes, “…when upsetting things show up in our lives, there’s usually a message or a learning opportunity in that experience that if we walk away too soon, it will appear again in the form of another similar person or situation.” 3
Even though we cannot change the present moment, we can change the way we regard it.
In challenging times, Laura found the simple blessing in the smallest gift of the hummingbird. In disappointing times, Dr. Kelly learned to seek and appreciate the goodness that remained. In upsetting times, Victoria looked more deeply to find a lesson or opportunity that might be gleaned.
I began to think of other ways to experience our moments and find the holy invitations.
We might begin by asking God to keep us aware and open to the day, and to reveal what we need to see. We begin by paying attention.
Then, depending on the moment, we can choose to embrace the joy… hold the gratitude… glean the lesson… notice the beauty… cling to the hope… abide in the peace… seek the opportunity… find the healing… tend the wound… take the risk… offer the forgiveness… notice the “more” beneath the “ordinary”… question the restlessness… capture the beauty… rest in the quietude…
and remember that Infinite Love can transform each moment into an opportunity for grace, growth, and goodness.
(Photo by Karen)
1 https://laurajboggess.substack.com/
SO HE COULD SEE IT
On one of my morning walks, I found this nice little insulated cup nestled in the grass along the roadside. The cup was personalized with the person’s name, so I wondered if it may have been a special gift. Perhaps he had set the cup on his car and then drove off, forgetting it was there. I placed the cup on this level utility surface, hoping that he would be better able to see it, if he should drive by again.
“So he could see it…” This thought then led to additional reflections on life and love.
I thought of the kindness, graciousness, and love that are always present in our world, but often go unnoticed because they are in unexpected places or moments. Or they are overshadowed by so many stories of all that is not good. Or perhaps–by the very humble nature of all that is good–they are not drawing attention and can only be found by being observant. Like the cup (or the love, kindness, or graciousness), we know they are there; our role then is to make them more visible.
How might we lift up everything that is good to make it more easily seen? How might we take the universal love that is always with us and reveal it to others? How might we seek more of those hidden gifts that will bless when we bring them to light?
We might begin by opening our eyes and spirits to notice more of God’s goodness, to look in unexpected and smaller places, and to recall at day’s end all of the ordinary yet miraculous moments of the day. We can share those moments and stories with others, naming what we have found good and right. We can point out the people who are making the world a better place. And we can follow their example.
This week, goodness and love were made visible to me from my friend Laura (an avid birder) who shares wonderful photos of the variety of birds she has found, examples of God’s amazing creativity. Several faithful and dedicated people worked to make the church office clean and fresh for me. During worship this morning, everyone mingled with delight as we shared a time of peace–the joy was abundant. When I hear a car horn beep outside my office window, I know it is my Jim passing by and sending his love. I cherish a recent email that my friend Ruth wrote to thank me for my writing.
Every prayer can become an act of support or provision. Every compassionate feeling can become helpful care. Every random thought of someone can become a friendly phone call. Every moment of gratitude can become a written acknowledgement or a kindness in return. Every regret may become an opportunity for an earnest conversation. There may be times when we are the ones to reveal just what someone has needed and missed–even if we were there all along.
When we pay attention, we notice. When we notice, we are moved. When we are moved, we can act. That’s how goodness and love become visible.
Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness of people. ~ Roy T. Bennett
(Photo by Karen)
THE LESSON FROM THE IRIS
I shared a post back in May of 2023 (linked below) about planting iris seeds in the drainage area near our home. From the time those seeds were planted, I have been watching the area for any little purple-blue flags to appear. For four years I have been disappointed. In fact, I had pretty much decided that the conditions were just not conducive for these irises and began to consider a new plan.
But then a few weeks ago, I was surprised to find one blue flag waving to me from the bottom of the hollow! And soon, five more appeared. I felt such giddy joy that the long-ago seeds had finally flourished!
This has been a lesson for me. When I think about the future and all of its uncertainty, I generally think of the disappointments, trials, or heartaches that might lie ahead. Uncertainty has become a negative outlook rather than a hopeful one. But these surprising blooms remind me that the future can hold very good moments, very wonderful blessings, and very special gifts of hope, joy, or peace.
Whatever uncertainties we face today, may we remember that yes, we do not know that the future holds, but the future could hold surprising goodness. May we choose to regard uncertainty in the best possible light, continuing to dream of what could be, contributing what we can to bring about brighter days, perhaps even preparing to be surprised. May we cling to the hope that, though it may take a while, time will keep revealing every goodness of God.
(Photo by Karen)
TO LEAVE… OR TO BE LEAVEN?
He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.” Matthew 13:33 (NRSVUE)
Is it time to leave?
I have given this some thought in recent months. Is it time to leave the U.S. and put down new roots elsewhere? There are many good reasons to do so. The cultures and lifestyles in certain other countries are more beneficial to our well-being. Several friends who recently spent time overseas have described a more peaceful, relaxed, and welcoming atmosphere. It could be an exciting adventure, as well as an opportunity to grow in cultural awareness and global understanding. And (most of all) I am finding it difficult to live under this current administration, especially when so many dear ones are finding their equality is not honored, their history is erased, their identity is demeaned, their rights are ignored, and their hopes of financial security are undermined.
The idea of beginning anew in a different country is an inviting one. Yet I always return to this truth: I do not want to leave my beloved family and friends.
I hope that a majority of us feel the same way.
So, perhaps this time in life is our sacred calling to set aside the impulse to leave and instead, choose to become leaven. How might we remain to serve as leavening agents of the kingdom of heaven?
Leavening agents react with other ingredients to cause pockets of gas that expand the dough. Jesus seems to be teaching that the kingdom of heaven can be like this; living as Christ wherever we are, we mix in and with others to expand the kingdom and help all the world to rise. We live in love, in kindness, in compassion, spreading goodness wherever we can. We live–here and now–as small initiators of expansive love.
Just as leavening changes its surrounding environment, we can similarly work as agitators for change in the midst of our societal issues–as resisters, advocates, or activists. We can also model the ways of Christ, the ways that are beneficial to all of society, the ways of resistance that run counter to these unhealthy standards of living and believing, the ways of simplicity, generosity, compassion, and hospitality. Leading with our example, we may give some people the courage to do the same–while offering others a reason for hope.
As “human leaven,” we can create pockets of air–open and welcoming spaces that offer others room to breathe. We can become restful places in which people are able to catch their breath in an understanding and peaceful atmosphere. We can maintain openness in our hearts and minds, creating spaces for new growth and insight. We can keep space for listening, room for welcoming, and grace for receiving.
My friend Debbie has made her backyard into a nature sanctuary, a place for birds and bees and small wildlife to safely dwell. Her sanctuary is another open pocket that contributes not only to the flora and fauna there, but to the betterment of our climate and the softness of her soul. She has created a sacred space, a beautiful leavening agent that will help our community–and bit by bit, the world–to rise. As I learn more about what she has done, I am inspired to do the same. Debbie is leaven for me; her example of caring and tending for this patch of earth gives me a pocket in which to breathe.
Jesus called himself the Bread of Life. Let’s work to create more pockets of breathing room, more spaces where love can enter and expand, more places for hearts to be changed. Serving as leaven, we can help to enable the goodness of Christ to rise and become the Bread of Life. For every life.
Photo by Aldward Castillo on Unsplash
A DISCIPLINE OF DISTRACTION
At the end of March, I received a call from our friend, Andy, a local Episcopalian priest. The office administrator at the church where he serves had recently resigned to take a position elsewhere, and he asked if I would be interested in filling in there. For a variety of reasons, the timing seemed right, so I happily accepted the invitation.
These past weeks have been overwhelming, as I learn how little I know (even with experience as an office administrator) about my additional responsibilities, along with new publishing and financial programs. At the end of the day, my mind is quite muddled and weary…
but my spirit is so very blessed.
In this new role, as I concentrate on the tasks, contribute to the community, and connect with people, I have experienced a new serenity in my soul. I needed this change in my life.
When I think of spiritual disciplines, I usually think of prayer and reflection, centering in God, being present to what is, walking in nature, worshiping, reading and study. But maybe we also need the discipline of distraction, a blessing of busyness, to give our minds and spirits “time away” from the issues we tend to dwell upon. And it seems especially helpful when the distraction is a worthwhile one, giving a sense of purpose and accomplishment at the end of the day.
I can think of other examples. One friend told me that she is reading more fiction these days, as a small escape from her daily routines and concerns. A writer friend is researching more topics that interest her. Another finds her solace by becoming absorbed in her art projects.
Yes, we are still called to be aware of the troubles around us, to care for the world, to do what we can to bring the loving ways of Christ here. But if we can allow the discipline of distraction to serve as a mini retreat, a moment of blessed relief, a departure for our minds and in turn, a respite for our souls, we may find renewed strength and inspiration for the other important work we are meant to do.
How might the “discipline of distraction” lift your spirit today?
(Photo by Karen; the beautiful stained glass in the sanctuary)
Simply Soul Searching 