Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRUDENCE (WISDOM), DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, April 9th
I have another Lenten longing: the longing for the prudence, or wisdom, of God. In recent months, an expression that often comes to my mind is, “Make it make sense!” I am bewildered and frustrated by the current political and global situation, some of my own personal contemplation and confusion, and–even after almost 69 years–the unexpected, random events in life. I would love to sit down with my rabbi, Jesus, and ask him lots of questions!
Why do I long for prudence?
I long for the insight to make sense of my life and the world around me, to find a justifiable reason for the things I don’t understand, and in doing so, I hope to find peace.
I long for the certainty and confidence of making wise decisions and better choices in life, and in doing so, I hope to please God and to experience a life well-lived.
I long for the right discernment and truth for any words I write, for any guidance I may share, for the way I may live as Christ in the world, and in doing so, I hope to rightly bless (and not harm) any lives I touch.
How do I begin to find greater wisdom? I was surprised by this thought from author J. I. Packer:
Not until we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God’s holiness and sovereignty, acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts, and willing to have our minds turned upside down, can divine wisdom become ours.
Wisdom begins with our awareness of how little we know! God seems to be making this point rather clearly to me this week, as a recent email expanded on this idea. Christine Valters Paintner at The Abbey of the Arts writes:
Bringing the mind and heart of a beginner to our lives helps us to discover the wisdom inherent in each moment. When we let go of our desire to be clever or successful or create beautiful things we may begin to open to the sacred truth of our experience as it is, not how we want it to be. Wonder is at the heart of conversion, letting ourselves be moved by life, surprised by God, and open to the grace of the moment. *
If we were to rethink what we believe we know, to question our previous knowledge and insights, and to open our souls to new understanding (to “receive the kingdom of God as a little child,” as Jesus says to the crowd in Mark 10:15), how would God fill us today?
May I keep opening, humbling, and emptying, that I may more readily receive anything–even the insights that surprise and fluster–that God would have me know.
* Christine Valters Paintner, OblSB, PhD, REACE, https://abbeyofthearts.com/
Photo by Karen
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, April 8th
How might be become peacemakers for others who are longing for God’s peace? I immediately thought of the words of Jesus in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). And when I read the rest of the passage, I noticed that the other verses describe ways we might become better peacemakers…
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he began to speak and taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” ~ Matthew 5:1-12
Each time we are among the “blessed,” we can gain new experiences and understandings of God’s peace–and we can also glean new ways to serve as peacemakers. When we are wounded or in need (when we are humbled, persecuted, grieved, wounded, or longing for more), and find ourselves longing for a greater power beyond our own, we become more open and vulnerable to receive God’s peace and comfort.
And then as we later recall these times, remembering how God helped or carried us through them, our trust in God’s goodness deepens. We become the “blessed” again in new ways–as we become merciful, pure in heart, and yes, peacemakers. Our own experiences help us to understand and aid others who are hurting, who need kindness or forgiveness, who long for peace.
Every trial, every longing, every sadness, every act of kindness, and every judgment against us can shape us into God’s peacemakers. Turning to God for our peace, growing in faith through our experiences of peace, and learning to help others find peace, we are increasingly becoming “blessed” as peacemakers, children of God.
Bible verses are NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, April 7th
(An excerpt from my memoir, * written when I was enduring the worst of the chemotherapy treatments.)
Dear helping and healing Creator God, what would you have me know today?
My child, I know it’s so very challenging to just BE in the present moment. Your present moments aren’t as exciting, productive, or varied as they once were. Your present moments are quiet, routine, limited with boundaries, and often filled with worry.
The present moment is not where you like to be.
But allow me to work in you during this wilderness time. With many distractions removed, I can work on your soul and mind more readily. Don’t block my work with your distractions of fear and crankiness—or at times, with Spider Solitaire. Open your heart to notice how I am teaching, helping, inspiring you for each moment of the day. Please take time to be with me. Practice disciplines and creative spiritual exercises in your free moments. Let yourself freely and fully accept this time of liminal space as my workspace for you.
Better days are coming. You know this. I am the One who gives you hope and healing. Be thankful for the many prayers from many people, and let your spirit be held by them. You will sense this grace if you remain aware of the many prayers and my generous love for you and Jim. Be a gentle presence today.
~~~~~
May you feel the peaceful presence of God in this very moment, dear reader friends.
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, April 4th
The Sacrament of the Day
(KLW, May 2023)
Now the day gently rises
upon early dawn
and the choir of creation
soon bursts into song.
May I join with the praise
of each songbird chorus
and in giddy delight
applaud with the forest.
May I glean inspiration
through nature, your teacher
proclaiming your presence
and kinship with creature.
May I speak of your hope
and divine mystery;
let each word of comfort
be a kind liturgy.
May I seek out the sacred
with deep reverence,
through holy, awed silence,
and sweet penitence.
May I share the communion
of human connection
through the breaking of bread
with love and affection.
May I sense you are moving
in breezes that blow,
in the smile of another,
in the soft morning glow.
May I savor the rituals
that order my day
with the walking, the writing,
the moments I pray.
May I find each day holy,
a blessed sacrament,
and so honor each moment
with sacred intent.
May I feel benediction
as day becomes night,
when I peacefully thank you
and turn out the light.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, April 3rd
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
~ John 8:2-11
This passage holds so much tension! There is the tension of the woman who is embarrassed, helpless, and even fearing for her life… the tension of the teachers and Pharisees, who have been seeing their systems of law and justice being undermined… the tension of Jesus, who knows that the group is trying to threaten him–perhaps more than the woman… the tension of the potential rock throwers, who certainly must question what they are about to do.
Jesus then demonstrates several ways he can give peace—for them, and for us.
~ We can experience peace as an absence of judgment—Jesus’ lack of judgment for the adulterer and for our own imperfect selves.
~ We can experience peace when we pause to consider before we react, as Jesus did with his writing in the sand.
~ We can experience peace in knowing that Jesus is by our side, protecting and defending, as he did for the woman.
~ And we can experience peace when we drop our stones of self-righteousness, judgment, condemnation, or short-sightedness, as did the people who walked away.
Where do you most long for peace today…
for the peace of acceptance after being misunderstood or wrongly judged?
for the peace of forgiveness for behaving badly?
for the peace of silent reflection before making a decision?
for the peace of companionship along a difficult journey?
for the peace of surrendering stones of guilt, prejudice, or hypocrisy?
for the peace of trust in times of stressful uncertainty?
May you feel the presence of Christ near to you, revealing exactly what you need for peace.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways. The Lord be with all of you.
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16
Bible passage and verse are NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, April 2nd
In our times of trial, hardship, sorrow, pain, or fear, when we find ourselves desperately longing for a sense of God’s peace, isn’t it a gift to know that God is longing for us to have peace, too? Jesus gives his disciples (and all of us) these comforting assurances:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33
The peace of God can be understood as the well-being of our souls throughout our daily living. Yes, “in this world we will have trouble,” but God’s peace can come to us regardless of our circumstances…
I recall a time when I could not discern an easy answer or a happy ending for a very difficult situation. As I hid away in the bathroom one night, crying and praying but receiving no direction, I finally said, “Whatever happens, God, I will be okay if you are with me.” And I was suddenly overwhelmed by an incredible sense of peace! Oh, there would be many difficult days ahead–and many more prayers–but my sense of this certain, inner peace and God’s comforting presence remained with me through it all.
Paul’s guiding words for the Philippians reveal the reason for my peace:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7
The peace of God does transcend our understanding! And this peace comes when we open ourselves to receive it, when we present our requests–surrendering ourselves and our predicaments–into God’s good care. Trusting in God’s perfect love, relinquishing our desired outcomes, letting God guide our next steps, and clinging to God’s perfect goodness, we will discover the peace that only God can give.
Whether I am feeling my small anxiety of boarding a plane, or my greater worry for a family member facing trials, or my deepest fear of losing a loved one, I can only find peace when I finally entrust everything to God. God is the One who loves us all with incredible, infinite love… the One who longs to bring our peace… the One who IS our peace, our peace beyond all understanding.
Bible verses are NIV, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, April 1st
The purpose of God isn’t to save us from Hell. The purpose of God is to make us like Christ.
~ Aiden Wilson Tozer
I love this quote! A.W. Tozer’s words reveal two different (and life-changing) perspectives about God’s purpose for our daily living.
When we believe God’s purpose for us is to solely avoid hell, our days may be lived in the fear of letting God down, with our focus on rule keeping, and the tendency for judging, comparing, and defending ourselves against one another. With our attention on the hereafter, we may even squander or discount our earthly days while we await this reward of hell-avoidance.
When we believe our purpose is to live and be more like Christ, our days may be lived in the peaceful trust that we are beloved, with our focus on soul keeping, and a desire for loving, forgiving, and accepting others while maintaining personal integrity and humility. With our attention on our earthly days, we can live in the joy (and yes, challenge) of the heavenly kingdom that is already present with us.
I have often said, “I don’t know how all of this works.” But today, I find these questions worth considering:
Could our earthly life be this figurative hell?
Could God, Infinite Love, one day welcome, transform, and bless everyone with eternal peace and joy?
Could Jesus’ plea, “Father, forgive them,” for those who had mocked, tortured, and watched him die, also include the rest of us?
Could the present-day gifts of our faith be the hope we cling to as we face the trials of this life, the peace we find as we trust in our benevolent God, the inspiration and courage we receive from the Spirit’s movement within us?
Could our salvation be the grateful joy we find in God’s loving presence that abides with us through the hellish moments we encounter today?
I don’t know how all of this works. But as I reflect on A.W. Tozer’s words, I do believe that God’s essential purpose for us is to live like Christ. And when we do, we are already being saved from hell–by helping to make this earthly life more like the eternal kingdom, here and now.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 31st
(This excerpt from my memoir * was written after my chemotherapy was finished and I was feeling stronger.)
On another cold December morning, I sat at my desk, ready to write my journal reflections. The day was going to be a full and busy one, so I was eager to get on with my tasks. I struggled to settle my thoughts in contemplation. Then I felt a nudge to be silent for a moment, and looking up, my finger labyrinth on the shelf above my desk caught my attention…
God of Promise, what would you have me know today?
Restless Karen,
Your life has been much like a labyrinth. You have been journeying in new directions, taking unexpected longer routes, finding yourself going in opposite directions from your original path, and letting the path itself guide you. In doing so, you are drawing ever closer to me. Center yourself on me. Keep focused on my love for you and for all people. Savor each step and observe what is around you.
Your journey is your life. Your destination is me.
Questions also arose: “Why did you create me, God? Did you create me with intention, for a special purpose, or am I a random result of your creation?”
You need not know these answers, Karen. Trust that your life is rich, full, and blessed because you happen to be alive and you know of my love. From the day you came into being, I have loved and guided you. I love you, no matter how you live or for how long. Simply find what brings you joy and look for ways to use your joy to bless others. Let the rest of your purpose fall to me. Place your life in my care. Trust that I am in control, and my love for you and this world is beyond your comprehension. Your questions and fears are tiny matters, but your humble life is significant to me.
~~~~~
Reader friends, may you also rest assured that your life, no matter how humble, is significant to God.
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 28th
Benediction
(KLW, October 2021)
As you go about your daily life
may you attend to deeper meaning.
May you notice all the quiet nudges
and the wisdom you are gleaning.
May God give you good clarity
for which purposes to pursue
to help you find and keep the ones
which are genuine and true.
May you even hear the whispers
you may not wish to hear;
just bear in mind how much God loves
and holds you close and dear.
May you check your motivation
and let God help you decide
what is pure determination
and what is stubborn pride.
May each new day bring inner joy
and purposes that bless
while tending to your spirit –
knowing when to work and rest.
May your life become a vessel
of God’s love poured out through you,
but keep your vessel lifted up;
God’s love will pour in, too.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Colossians 3:17
Bible verse is NRSVUE found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 27th
During a recent morning retreat, our group reflected on God’s purpose for us by asking ourselves this question: What would I want engraved on my gravestone?
I appreciate this question because it invites me to see my purpose in a different light; to consider less about what I can accomplish and more about the differences I might make. I have written before about my need to feel productive, to call my day worthy by the tasks I have completed. When I am on a “mission” to finish a project, I become less gracious about welcoming interruptions or allowing times for respite. But these interruptions and respites could be the places where life’s deeper meaning and purpose are found.
The question also helps me see my purpose beyond my identity or role, to how my unique self might bring better days or greater good. I am a regular walker, but do I want to be remembered for the miles I have covered–or the friends I have made along the way? I am a contemplative writer, but do I want to be remembered for the number of words I have written–or the one person I have encouraged? I am an organized homemaker, but do I want to be remembered for clean closets–or the memories made with people we have welcomed into our home?
Perhaps God’s purpose for our lives is to be fruitful more than productive. God has created each of us uniquely, with certain capabilities and interests to pursue. We are not meant to exhaust these gifts, but to steward them wisely, to share them in service to God and others, and to find and share our joy in doing so.
May we so live that when we look at our unfinished checklist of goals at the end of the day, we can trust that God has used the spaces of our interruptions and respites for more meaningful, significant purposes. May we so live that we are open to receive each moment of life as a possible movement of God. May we so live that at the end of our earthly days, even if our personal goals have not been achieved, God’s greater purpose for us has been fulfilled.
Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches… I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ~ John 15:4-5a, 11
(Photo by Karen)
Bible verse is NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
Simply Soul Searching 