Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRUDENCE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, April 14th
(These are a few related excerpts from my memoir; my journal entries written during Advent of 2015, when Jim and I were trying to discern our future plans after our serious medical issues. We needed much wisdom for the days ahead! In my morning journaling, I often asked God, “What would you have me know?” and wrote what I sensed God was telling me.)
God of discernment, what would you have me know today?
Seeker Karen,
Listen… Notice… Pray… These three practices from your Spiritual Foundations studies have deepened your faith and awareness of my active presence. Listen attentively to your life and pray about what you notice, especially as you discern your future and your writing plans…
~~~~~
Hope-filled Karen,
You and Jim are asking for guidance about your future; where, when, and what you will be doing. Listen to your hearts. Watch for my nudges and small indicators. Be courageous. Wherever you go, you can trust that my love will go with you. How might you serve me and others in new ways? Keep writing and listening…
…As you and Jim approach 2016, I know you are eager to leave this year behind. You are eager to live a new future, perhaps in a new way or place. And yet you have lingering fears for both of you. You worry at times about cancer returning or new heart issues forming. Trust that I love you. Let go of your fears, or give them to me. I will give you peace. I will give you all that you need. You and Jim are in my loving care. No matter what may come.
…I have new lessons for you in the birth of my Jesus. Consider how he came so small and humbly. Consider how he followed my way of love no matter what the risks were. Consider his life; how he loved and healed, how he cared for the poor and lowly. Let his life’s story shape your heart in a new way. You will learn and grow this year, this season. I am always bringing new gifts and new insights to you.
~~~~~
God of Light, what would you have me know today?
Beloved Karen,
As you keep growing stronger and feeling better, you have this timely opportunity to begin anew. The season of Advent is a new church year; 2016 will be a new calendar year; Jesus came to give you new life; your treatments are over, and you have a new, healthy body.
What other ways are you ready to begin anew? Do you need a new way of thinking in some area? Is it time for you and Jim to be in a new place? …In what new areas would you like to grow? Ponder these as you consider resolutions for the new year. I am here to make you a new creation.
Becoming new means letting go of the old. This is the time to release fears, hurts, resentments, old ways of thinking and viewing the world. Turn to me and leave that baggage behind. “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:19, NIV).
~~~~~
Reader friends, as you seek wisdom and discernment for any decisions you are making, may you feel both God’s wisdom for your guidance–and God’s compassion for your missteps. We are in good hands.
(Personal note: When I scheduled this post, I found the date quite timely… ten years ago, I was meeting with my oncologist for the first time. I am so very grateful for these ten years of life and love! And the crèche pictured above was created by our dear friend, Alan Dietz, now in his heavenly home. His birthday falls on April 14th.)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRUDENCE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, April 11th
Wisdom is a Journey
(KLW, August, 2024)
Wisdom is a journey,
a passage through the years,
with lessons learned
and insights gained
through trials and toils and tears.
Wisdom is a posture,
an eagerness to see
with open mind
and open heart
each possibility.
Wisdom is a detour,
a new way we are led,
through change of heart,
a different choice,
a turning of the head.
Wisdom is a silence,
a patience to refrain
from hasty, hurtful,
hate-filled words,
maturity to gain.
Wisdom is a treasure
revealed along the way.
In listening well,
in seeking truth,
it deepens every day.
Wisdom is a partner
who shares each path we trod.
We walk in faith,
in hope, in trust…
and hold the hand of God.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRUDENCE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, April 10th
After listening to lots of podcast interviews, I have noticed that interviewees often begin their reply with the words, “That’s a good question, thank you for asking!” I wonder if this comment gives them a little space to acknowledge the question and form a response. Instead of sitting in awkward silence to consider their words (leaving listeners to wonder if the guests are going to reply), this common phrase can be used as a way to pause and reflect for a moment. I hear and appreciate your question, and you will soon have my answer.
God generously provides us with many sources of wisdom: the life and teachings of Jesus; the Bible and other books; our prayers, journal writing, or observations; mentors, spiritual writers, and friends who share ideas; nature and its abundance of seasonal lessons. It seems that with all of these resources available, God welcomes our questions–and as Jesus tells us, “Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive.” ~ Matthew 21:22
When we come to God with a question or request (perhaps for wisdom today), we may find it helpful to envision God replying, “That’s a good question, thank you for asking.” Trusting that God hears our question, acknowledges it as good and valid, and even thanks us for asking, we can then pause to wait for the answer. This entrusts the timing to God. We can then prepare our “ears to hear” (Matthew 11:15) by remaining eager to listen, attentive to noticing, and patiently waiting for the answer that will come when the time is right.
My child, if you accept my words
and treasure up my commandments within you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding,
if you indeed cry out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures—
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk blamelessly,
guarding the paths of justice
and preserving the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice
and equity, every good path,
for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
prudence will watch over you,
and understanding will guard you.
~ Proverbs 2:1-11
Bible verses are NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
Photo by Karen
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRUDENCE (WISDOM), DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, April 9th
I have another Lenten longing: the longing for the prudence, or wisdom, of God. In recent months, an expression that often comes to my mind is, “Make it make sense!” I am bewildered and frustrated by the current political and global situation, some of my own personal contemplation and confusion, and–even after almost 69 years–the unexpected, random events in life. I would love to sit down with my rabbi, Jesus, and ask him lots of questions!
Why do I long for prudence?
I long for the insight to make sense of my life and the world around me, to find a justifiable reason for the things I don’t understand, and in doing so, I hope to find peace.
I long for the certainty and confidence of making wise decisions and better choices in life, and in doing so, I hope to please God and to experience a life well-lived.
I long for the right discernment and truth for any words I write, for any guidance I may share, for the way I may live as Christ in the world, and in doing so, I hope to rightly bless (and not harm) any lives I touch.
How do I begin to find greater wisdom? I was surprised by this thought from author J. I. Packer:
Not until we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God’s holiness and sovereignty, acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts, and willing to have our minds turned upside down, can divine wisdom become ours.
Wisdom begins with our awareness of how little we know! God seems to be making this point rather clearly to me this week, as a recent email expanded on this idea. Christine Valters Paintner at The Abbey of the Arts writes:
Bringing the mind and heart of a beginner to our lives helps us to discover the wisdom inherent in each moment. When we let go of our desire to be clever or successful or create beautiful things we may begin to open to the sacred truth of our experience as it is, not how we want it to be. Wonder is at the heart of conversion, letting ourselves be moved by life, surprised by God, and open to the grace of the moment. *
If we were to rethink what we believe we know, to question our previous knowledge and insights, and to open our souls to new understanding (to “receive the kingdom of God as a little child,” as Jesus says to the crowd in Mark 10:15), how would God fill us today?
May I keep opening, humbling, and emptying, that I may more readily receive anything–even the insights that surprise and fluster–that God would have me know.
* Christine Valters Paintner, OblSB, PhD, REACE, https://abbeyofthearts.com/
Photo by Karen
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, April 8th
How might be become peacemakers for others who are longing for God’s peace? I immediately thought of the words of Jesus in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). And when I read the rest of the passage, I noticed that the other verses describe ways we might become better peacemakers…
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he began to speak and taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” ~ Matthew 5:1-12
Each time we are among the “blessed,” we can gain new experiences and understandings of God’s peace–and we can also glean new ways to serve as peacemakers. When we are wounded or in need (when we are humbled, persecuted, grieved, wounded, or longing for more), and find ourselves longing for a greater power beyond our own, we become more open and vulnerable to receive God’s peace and comfort.
And then as we later recall these times, remembering how God helped or carried us through them, our trust in God’s goodness deepens. We become the “blessed” again in new ways–as we become merciful, pure in heart, and yes, peacemakers. Our own experiences help us to understand and aid others who are hurting, who need kindness or forgiveness, who long for peace.
Every trial, every longing, every sadness, every act of kindness, and every judgment against us can shape us into God’s peacemakers. Turning to God for our peace, growing in faith through our experiences of peace, and learning to help others find peace, we are increasingly becoming “blessed” as peacemakers, children of God.
Bible verses are NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, April 7th
(An excerpt from my memoir, * written when I was enduring the worst of the chemotherapy treatments.)
Dear helping and healing Creator God, what would you have me know today?
My child, I know it’s so very challenging to just BE in the present moment. Your present moments aren’t as exciting, productive, or varied as they once were. Your present moments are quiet, routine, limited with boundaries, and often filled with worry.
The present moment is not where you like to be.
But allow me to work in you during this wilderness time. With many distractions removed, I can work on your soul and mind more readily. Don’t block my work with your distractions of fear and crankiness—or at times, with Spider Solitaire. Open your heart to notice how I am teaching, helping, inspiring you for each moment of the day. Please take time to be with me. Practice disciplines and creative spiritual exercises in your free moments. Let yourself freely and fully accept this time of liminal space as my workspace for you.
Better days are coming. You know this. I am the One who gives you hope and healing. Be thankful for the many prayers from many people, and let your spirit be held by them. You will sense this grace if you remain aware of the many prayers and my generous love for you and Jim. Be a gentle presence today.
~~~~~
May you feel the peaceful presence of God in this very moment, dear reader friends.
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, April 4th
The Sacrament of the Day
(KLW, May 2023)
Now the day gently rises
upon early dawn
and the choir of creation
soon bursts into song.
May I join with the praise
of each songbird chorus
and in giddy delight
applaud with the forest.
May I glean inspiration
through nature, your teacher
proclaiming your presence
and kinship with creature.
May I speak of your hope
and divine mystery;
let each word of comfort
be a kind liturgy.
May I seek out the sacred
with deep reverence,
through holy, awed silence,
and sweet penitence.
May I share the communion
of human connection
through the breaking of bread
with love and affection.
May I sense you are moving
in breezes that blow,
in the smile of another,
in the soft morning glow.
May I savor the rituals
that order my day
with the walking, the writing,
the moments I pray.
May I find each day holy,
a blessed sacrament,
and so honor each moment
with sacred intent.
May I feel benediction
as day becomes night,
when I peacefully thank you
and turn out the light.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, April 3rd
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
~ John 8:2-11
This passage holds so much tension! There is the tension of the woman who is embarrassed, helpless, and even fearing for her life… the tension of the teachers and Pharisees, who have been seeing their systems of law and justice being undermined… the tension of Jesus, who knows that the group is trying to threaten him–perhaps more than the woman… the tension of the potential rock throwers, who certainly must question what they are about to do.
Jesus then demonstrates several ways he can give peace—for them, and for us.
~ We can experience peace as an absence of judgment—Jesus’ lack of judgment for the adulterer and for our own imperfect selves.
~ We can experience peace when we pause to consider before we react, as Jesus did with his writing in the sand.
~ We can experience peace in knowing that Jesus is by our side, protecting and defending, as he did for the woman.
~ And we can experience peace when we drop our stones of self-righteousness, judgment, condemnation, or short-sightedness, as did the people who walked away.
Where do you most long for peace today…
for the peace of acceptance after being misunderstood or wrongly judged?
for the peace of forgiveness for behaving badly?
for the peace of silent reflection before making a decision?
for the peace of companionship along a difficult journey?
for the peace of surrendering stones of guilt, prejudice, or hypocrisy?
for the peace of trust in times of stressful uncertainty?
May you feel the presence of Christ near to you, revealing exactly what you need for peace.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways. The Lord be with all of you.
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16
Bible passage and verse are NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PEACE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, April 2nd
In our times of trial, hardship, sorrow, pain, or fear, when we find ourselves desperately longing for a sense of God’s peace, isn’t it a gift to know that God is longing for us to have peace, too? Jesus gives his disciples (and all of us) these comforting assurances:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33
The peace of God can be understood as the well-being of our souls throughout our daily living. Yes, “in this world we will have trouble,” but God’s peace can come to us regardless of our circumstances…
I recall a time when I could not discern an easy answer or a happy ending for a very difficult situation. As I hid away in the bathroom one night, crying and praying but receiving no direction, I finally said, “Whatever happens, God, I will be okay if you are with me.” And I was suddenly overwhelmed by an incredible sense of peace! Oh, there would be many difficult days ahead–and many more prayers–but my sense of this certain, inner peace and God’s comforting presence remained with me through it all.
Paul’s guiding words for the Philippians reveal the reason for my peace:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7
The peace of God does transcend our understanding! And this peace comes when we open ourselves to receive it, when we present our requests–surrendering ourselves and our predicaments–into God’s good care. Trusting in God’s perfect love, relinquishing our desired outcomes, letting God guide our next steps, and clinging to God’s perfect goodness, we will discover the peace that only God can give.
Whether I am feeling my small anxiety of boarding a plane, or my greater worry for a family member facing trials, or my deepest fear of losing a loved one, I can only find peace when I finally entrust everything to God. God is the One who loves us all with incredible, infinite love… the One who longs to bring our peace… the One who IS our peace, our peace beyond all understanding.
Bible verses are NIV, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, April 1st
The purpose of God isn’t to save us from Hell. The purpose of God is to make us like Christ.
~ Aiden Wilson Tozer
I love this quote! A.W. Tozer’s words reveal two different (and life-changing) perspectives about God’s purpose for our daily living.
When we believe God’s purpose for us is to solely avoid hell, our days may be lived in the fear of letting God down, with our focus on rule keeping, and the tendency for judging, comparing, and defending ourselves against one another. With our attention on the hereafter, we may even squander or discount our earthly days while we await this reward of hell-avoidance.
When we believe our purpose is to live and be more like Christ, our days may be lived in the peaceful trust that we are beloved, with our focus on soul keeping, and a desire for loving, forgiving, and accepting others while maintaining personal integrity and humility. With our attention on our earthly days, we can live in the joy (and yes, challenge) of the heavenly kingdom that is already present with us.
I have often said, “I don’t know how all of this works.” But today, I find these questions worth considering:
Could our earthly life be this figurative hell?
Could God, Infinite Love, one day welcome, transform, and bless everyone with eternal peace and joy?
Could Jesus’ plea, “Father, forgive them,” for those who had mocked, tortured, and watched him die, also include the rest of us?
Could the present-day gifts of our faith be the hope we cling to as we face the trials of this life, the peace we find as we trust in our benevolent God, the inspiration and courage we receive from the Spirit’s movement within us?
Could our salvation be the grateful joy we find in God’s loving presence that abides with us through the hellish moments we encounter today?
I don’t know how all of this works. But as I reflect on A.W. Tozer’s words, I do believe that God’s essential purpose for us is to live like Christ. And when we do, we are already being saved from hell–by helping to make this earthly life more like the eternal kingdom, here and now.
(Photo by Karen)
Simply Soul Searching 