Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 31st
(This excerpt from my memoir * was written after my chemotherapy was finished and I was feeling stronger.)
On another cold December morning, I sat at my desk, ready to write my journal reflections. The day was going to be a full and busy one, so I was eager to get on with my tasks. I struggled to settle my thoughts in contemplation. Then I felt a nudge to be silent for a moment, and looking up, my finger labyrinth on the shelf above my desk caught my attention…
God of Promise, what would you have me know today?
Restless Karen,
Your life has been much like a labyrinth. You have been journeying in new directions, taking unexpected longer routes, finding yourself going in opposite directions from your original path, and letting the path itself guide you. In doing so, you are drawing ever closer to me. Center yourself on me. Keep focused on my love for you and for all people. Savor each step and observe what is around you.
Your journey is your life. Your destination is me.
Questions also arose: “Why did you create me, God? Did you create me with intention, for a special purpose, or am I a random result of your creation?”
You need not know these answers, Karen. Trust that your life is rich, full, and blessed because you happen to be alive and you know of my love. From the day you came into being, I have loved and guided you. I love you, no matter how you live or for how long. Simply find what brings you joy and look for ways to use your joy to bless others. Let the rest of your purpose fall to me. Place your life in my care. Trust that I am in control, and my love for you and this world is beyond your comprehension. Your questions and fears are tiny matters, but your humble life is significant to me.
~~~~~
Reader friends, may you also rest assured that your life, no matter how humble, is significant to God.
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 28th
Benediction
(KLW, October 2021)
As you go about your daily life
may you attend to deeper meaning.
May you notice all the quiet nudges
and the wisdom you are gleaning.
May God give you good clarity
for which purposes to pursue
to help you find and keep the ones
which are genuine and true.
May you even hear the whispers
you may not wish to hear;
just bear in mind how much God loves
and holds you close and dear.
May you check your motivation
and let God help you decide
what is pure determination
and what is stubborn pride.
May each new day bring inner joy
and purposes that bless
while tending to your spirit –
knowing when to work and rest.
May your life become a vessel
of God’s love poured out through you,
but keep your vessel lifted up;
God’s love will pour in, too.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Colossians 3:17
Bible verse is NRSVUE found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 27th
During a recent morning retreat, our group reflected on God’s purpose for us by asking ourselves this question: What would I want engraved on my gravestone?
I appreciate this question because it invites me to see my purpose in a different light; to consider less about what I can accomplish and more about the differences I might make. I have written before about my need to feel productive, to call my day worthy by the tasks I have completed. When I am on a “mission” to finish a project, I become less gracious about welcoming interruptions or allowing times for respite. But these interruptions and respites could be the places where life’s deeper meaning and purpose are found.
The question also helps me see my purpose beyond my identity or role, to how my unique self might bring better days or greater good. I am a regular walker, but do I want to be remembered for the miles I have covered–or the friends I have made along the way? I am a contemplative writer, but do I want to be remembered for the number of words I have written–or the one person I have encouraged? I am an organized homemaker, but do I want to be remembered for clean closets–or the memories made with people we have welcomed into our home?
Perhaps God’s purpose for our lives is to be fruitful more than productive. God has created each of us uniquely, with certain capabilities and interests to pursue. We are not meant to exhaust these gifts, but to steward them wisely, to share them in service to God and others, and to find and share our joy in doing so.
May we so live that when we look at our unfinished checklist of goals at the end of the day, we can trust that God has used the spaces of our interruptions and respites for more meaningful, significant purposes. May we so live that we are open to receive each moment of life as a possible movement of God. May we so live that at the end of our earthly days, even if our personal goals have not been achieved, God’s greater purpose for us has been fulfilled.
Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches… I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ~ John 15:4-5a, 11
(Photo by Karen)
Bible verse is NRSVUE, found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
LONGING FOR GOD’S PURPOSE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, March 26th
In my younger years, I sincerely longed to know God’s purpose for my life and vocation. I wanted to please God by choosing the right career path, the right way to live and serve each day, and honestly, I longed to please God in order to be “blessed” with a happy and fulfilling life. Now I understand that neither is contingent on the other. I am loved and blessed by God through all of life–in every disappointment, sorrow, failure, success, joy, and surprise.
Yet, I still carry this holy longing to somehow know and fulfill God’s purpose for me. I long to live in meaningful ways, to discover a sacred reason for my existence, to have a holy purpose to pursue. This is a universal longing many of us share.
Jesus and (author) Barbara Brown Taylor have wise words for us and our longings. First, Jesus gives us the foundation for a life of holy purpose with his simple and succinct instruction:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” ~ Mark 12:30
Then, Barbara Brown Taylor shares a personal insight (in Chapter 7 of her book, An Altar in the World):
Then one night when my whole heart was open to hearing from God what I was supposed to do with my life, God said, “Anything that pleases you.”
“What?” I said, resorting to words again. “What kind of an answer is that?”
“Do anything that pleases you,” the voice in my head said again, “and belong to me.”
Isn’t this so comforting and reassuring? Our purpose and our joy come from belonging to God and loving what we do. But there is more. We find additional wisdom in what Jesus says next:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these. ~ Mark 12:31
And Barbara Brown Taylor’s thoughts help clarify what we are seeking…
Call me a romantic, but I think most people want to be good for something. I think they want to do something that matters, to be part of something bigger than themselves, to give themselves to something that is meaningful instead of meaningless. *
Whatever we do in life, we can give ourselves to something meaningful, something that matters, by loving God and caring for one another. Small or mundane tasks become meaningful when we use them to serve, reflect, pray, or listen in love. Less than ideal vocations become opportunities to kindly serve clients or coworkers (perhaps while we search for a better place to be). Delightful vocations and creative outlets become venues for sharing our joy with others as we gather in community, teach our skills, or offer our expertise.
By loving God and one another, our daily, ordinary lives will naturally become part of something bigger than ourselves–and we will have found our holiest call and purpose.
* Taylor, Barbara Brown. An Altar in the World. New York, Harper Collins, © 2009.
Bible verses are NIV found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 26th
I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, on the basis of God’s mercy, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable act of worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~ Romans 12:1-2
Paul’s words of instruction, written long ago, are so timely and necessary for today. This is a time to truly consider how I might renew my mind, transform my thoughts, and no longer be conformed to this age, my usual ways of living and being. I hope you recognize this, too. For I was recently both alarmed and inspired by this insight from human rights lawyer, Payam Akhavan on the podcast, “Soul Boom” with Rainn Wilson:
World peace is not only possible, it’s inevitable. The problem is that we’re holding on to divisive, myopic, materialistic ideologies that are inconsistent with the reality of the oneness of humankind. The question is whether we will achieve it through a common vision or only after unimaginable catastrophes leave us with no other choice. Climate change is the game changer and those leaders that today are saying that this is a hoax, they will be answerable to history. We will transform our patterns of thought and behavior because we have no choice. That is what our collective survival requires. *
As climate protections, social services, human rights provisions, global alliances, health care organizations, and public education are being undone in this country, many of us are distraught and bewildered by the careless, vengeful disregard for our planet and for one another. We all need to change our ways–and soon–because this is “what our collective survival requires.”
But Justin Hall (American journalist, entrepreneur, and blogger) names one perspective that hinders us from doing what we can: It’s this perspective of us as humans to look at our world through the lens of ‘normal’ [that] is one of the forces that stops us developing real solutions.
As challenging as this might be, we are called to “not be conformed to this age” (our lens of normal). Giving up our normal perspective is to rethink and adapt our usual ways of living, to look beyond ourselves to the needs of others, and to reexamine our biases, history, and culture for beliefs that do not hold true. Giving up our normal perspective is to embrace “the reality of the oneness of humankind,” as Payam calls it, and together, work to save our global community and life itself. Giving up our normal perspective is to have the courage to steward the earth by living more simply, to find gifts in community over consumerism, to foster understanding over fear, and to live with holy, humble integrity.
When we live in faith, this desperate imperative is our sacred and delightful invitation. When we live with an eternal perspective, we find joy in pursuing the things that are good, acceptable, and perfect; we cherish the gifts of kindness, compassion, generosity, and love; we need only the precious gifts of God that will last forever. With an eternal perspective, our lives become more peaceful, joyful, and hopeful–while we also contribute to the saving of our world.
* https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/soulboom?selected=LLUOO4976248041
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 24th
(Here is another excerpt from my memoir * about my time with ovarian cancer that gave me a new perspective on life…)
I am grateful to be aware of the preciousness of life that comes from facing the possibility of death. My fears have ebbed with the passing years, gradually replaced by the peace found in gratitude for each day, the serenity that today is enough, the joy that each day is yet another bonus day, and the hope that these bonus days will continue on eternally.
Our earthly life will one day come to an end. I no longer consider this a threat, but a beautiful invitation. I once believed that I would not want to know that my death was coming, but facing death more closely has truly enriched my life. I have been given new perspectives and new priorities as I savor the moments and appreciate the people in my life.
Facing death prompted reconciliations, enabled many grateful affirmations, offered opportunities to say what needed to be said, inspired courage to take risks and explore new adventures. Those challenging months were instrumental in helping me to prioritize what matters most and to discern how I might best live this life in love.
Every night as I turn off the tulip light near our den, I thank God for one more bonus day.
~~~~~
Thank you, God, for the joy and hope of our eternal perspective. May I fully embrace each new bonus day of our earthly life–as I gladly anticipate the life yet to come.
~~~~~
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 21st
A Closer Look
(KLW June 2023)
You fill this world with beauty,
your creation brings delight,
and all around me I can see
your power and your might
in the grandeur of the ocean,
the sky’s enormity,
the majesty of mountaintops,
the strength in every tree.
Yet I can often overlook
(in my ordinary days)
how your greatness still surrounds me
in small and lovely ways.
But when I pay attention,
I find your simple gifts
are gathered near to greet me,
to bless and to uplift.
Your grandeur’s right beside me.
There are miracles held inside
each tiny bud and bloom and branch;
your presence does abide.
All creation seems to sing
of your awe and majesty,
so I join in the chorus
as I feel you here with me.
Sometimes I try to find you, God
in places far away
yet you’re not in distant heaven
but you’re here with me, today.
You’re with me in creation,
with your Spirit in my soul;
and I find you in anyone
who makes our world more whole.
So with this new perspective
that there’s more than meets the eye,
help me to take a closer look
as life is passing by.
May I find you in the fauna,
the flora and the stranger,
in the friendship, in the love,
and the baby in the manger.
Let me take a deeper look
at your creative power
found in every fellow human
and every fragile flower.
And I can share a portion
of your love that’s limitless
through caring words, in kindness shown,
and humble acts that bless.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 20th
I am learning that others are choosing (as I have) to reduce or withdraw from social media and news stories, to step away from the worrisome information in order to regain some peace. Yet, even as I need this respite for my soul and mind, I do want to remain aware–so that I may pray and act accordingly. How do I keep informed, yet keep a less panicked, more peaceful perspective for each day?
Jesus, of course, is our mentor and teacher for the living of these days. He faced incredible trials and endured the worst death, and yet he remained courageous, steadfast, truthful, and unwavering in integrity. How did Jesus faithfully keep his life (his spirit, his insight, his efforts) centered in God? Here are a few examples…
Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray, and he spent the night in prayer to God.
(Luke 6:12)
~ Right before this verse, we learn that the scribes and Pharisees were filled with fury and began discussing with one another what they might do to Jesus (verse 11). As the threats and fears increased, Jesus chose to spend time alone in prayer with God, his source of Infinite Love.
Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and blessed and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all ate and were filled, and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. (Matthew 14:19-21)
~ As the crowds and hunger increased, Jesus looked to God as his source of Infinite Abundance before blessing the loaves and fish to feed them all.
Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. (John 14:10-12)
~ As his time on earth was coming to an end, Jesus taught, prayed, and assured his disciples of his source of Infinite Life, God’s presence with him, and–through him–God’s presence in all of them, so that they could continue as his faithful apostles in the days ahead.
Jesus prayed with, looked to, and remained in God throughout his challenging lifetime. When we face the trials and troubles of each day, perhaps we can hold his perspective of being embraced by God’s Infinite Love, Abundance, and Life. Sheltered in our source of strength, courage, comfort, and trust, we can regard the issues and possible courses of action together. We can face each problem with less fear and less self-protection, secure in the perspective that Jesus held–that whatever this day brings, we will not be left alone.
(Photo by Jim–thank you, Honey.)
Bible verses are NRSVUE translation.
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, March 19th
O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens…
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have established;
what are humans that you are mindful of them,
mortals that you care for them?
~ Psalm 8:1,3-4
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~ Isaiah 55:8-9
In these days when life feels upsetting and uncertain, I long to know God’s perspective. Is God pleased with the way things are unfolding here on earth …with the state of our nation …with the way I am living my life? I wonder, “What does God see in all of this?” And in moments of deep anger or frustration, I even wonder, “Does God see all of this? Is God paying attention?”
These passages comfort me today, bringing to mind my own experiences of God’s majesty. When I gaze up under a starry sky, stand before the ocean, hike up a mountain, or quietly watch a sunset, I feel such an incredible sense of smallness. I experience a variety of feelings such as awe, wonder, fear, gratitude, and even a bit of anxiety from the overwhelming awareness of my insignificance. But if I remain with these feelings and emotions for a while, a sense of humble and gentle relief comes over me…
I am a tiny speck in the infinite universe.
I am one person among more than 8 billion others on this planet earth,
in this one galaxy of an estimated 200 billion or more.
I am an incremental moment in the passage of time,
in a concept (time) that may be meaningless in an infinite eternity.
I am unable to conceive the greatness of God,
and unable to understand all of God’s ways.
Yes, I am quite insignificant.
And I am not the one in charge.
Thank you, God.
I can trust God to guide my small self into greater loving service for my place in the world, while releasing the troubles I cannot fix–and my worries about them–to God. The frailty of not having ultimate power brings the freedom from ultimate responsibility. If I can keep this perspective, I can persevere in peace.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 18th
And do not keep seeking what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. For it is the nations of the world that seek all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. ~ Luke 12:29-31 (NRSVUE)
One especially hot summer in Toledo, our local water became undrinkable when excess algae in Lake Erie overwhelmed the public water purification system. Concerned, Jim and I went to the grocery store to purchase some bottled water–and found the shelves empty. We expanded our search to several more places, but they had been cleared out, too. Finally, we drove for a while through the countryside until we found a small carry-out that still had bottled water available. We happily purchased enough drinking water to last for several days.
We headed for home, feeling peaceful and relieved, but soon our souls became unsettled. We recognized that we had just contributed to the very thing that had caused our frustration–the hoarding of clean water supplies. We had neglected God’s call to care for one another and to trust in God’s daily provision. And so, we decided to share our water with a few of the older folks in our faith community. We spent the afternoon visiting dear ones who were not easily able to travel very far, and we enjoyed sharing our friendship and our water supply.
Our stressful day became a joy-filled, memorable one.
Oh, this was such a small step of trust. I know I would not have felt as generous if the water shortage had impacted a larger area. I am certain that we can always share more than we do, more often than we do. But on that day, taking this small risk led to a feeling of genuine freedom that uplifted and eased our anxious spirits. We felt a deep trust in God’s provision that enabled us be part of God’s provision for others. Water was scarce but joy was overflowing.
Thank you, God, for prompting us to share, for poking us with your correction that day. Thank you for your abundance. Help us to never forget that every gift comes from you–for us to share with one another.
(Photo by Karen; Lake Erie in better days)
Simply Soul Searching 