Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 24th
(Here is another excerpt from my memoir * about my time with ovarian cancer that gave me a new perspective on life…)
I am grateful to be aware of the preciousness of life that comes from facing the possibility of death. My fears have ebbed with the passing years, gradually replaced by the peace found in gratitude for each day, the serenity that today is enough, the joy that each day is yet another bonus day, and the hope that these bonus days will continue on eternally.
Our earthly life will one day come to an end. I no longer consider this a threat, but a beautiful invitation. I once believed that I would not want to know that my death was coming, but facing death more closely has truly enriched my life. I have been given new perspectives and new priorities as I savor the moments and appreciate the people in my life.
Facing death prompted reconciliations, enabled many grateful affirmations, offered opportunities to say what needed to be said, inspired courage to take risks and explore new adventures. Those challenging months were instrumental in helping me to prioritize what matters most and to discern how I might best live this life in love.
Every night as I turn off the tulip light near our den, I thank God for one more bonus day.
~~~~~
Thank you, God, for the joy and hope of our eternal perspective. May I fully embrace each new bonus day of our earthly life–as I gladly anticipate the life yet to come.
~~~~~
* What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, available on Amazon.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 21st
A Closer Look
(KLW June 2023)
You fill this world with beauty,
your creation brings delight,
and all around me I can see
your power and your might
in the grandeur of the ocean,
the sky’s enormity,
the majesty of mountaintops,
the strength in every tree.
Yet I can often overlook
(in my ordinary days)
how your greatness still surrounds me
in small and lovely ways.
But when I pay attention,
I find your simple gifts
are gathered near to greet me,
to bless and to uplift.
Your grandeur’s right beside me.
There are miracles held inside
each tiny bud and bloom and branch;
your presence does abide.
All creation seems to sing
of your awe and majesty,
so I join in the chorus
as I feel you here with me.
Sometimes I try to find you, God
in places far away
yet you’re not in distant heaven
but you’re here with me, today.
You’re with me in creation,
with your Spirit in my soul;
and I find you in anyone
who makes our world more whole.
So with this new perspective
that there’s more than meets the eye,
help me to take a closer look
as life is passing by.
May I find you in the fauna,
the flora and the stranger,
in the friendship, in the love,
and the baby in the manger.
Let me take a deeper look
at your creative power
found in every fellow human
and every fragile flower.
And I can share a portion
of your love that’s limitless
through caring words, in kindness shown,
and humble acts that bless.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 20th
I am learning that others are choosing (as I have) to reduce or withdraw from social media and news stories, to step away from the worrisome information in order to regain some peace. Yet, even as I need this respite for my soul and mind, I do want to remain aware–so that I may pray and act accordingly. How do I keep informed, yet keep a less panicked, more peaceful perspective for each day?
Jesus, of course, is our mentor and teacher for the living of these days. He faced incredible trials and endured the worst death, and yet he remained courageous, steadfast, truthful, and unwavering in integrity. How did Jesus faithfully keep his life (his spirit, his insight, his efforts) centered in God? Here are a few examples…
Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray, and he spent the night in prayer to God.
(Luke 6:12)
~ Right before this verse, we learn that the scribes and Pharisees were filled with fury and began discussing with one another what they might do to Jesus (verse 11). As the threats and fears increased, Jesus chose to spend time alone in prayer with God, his source of Infinite Love.
Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and blessed and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all ate and were filled, and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. (Matthew 14:19-21)
~ As the crowds and hunger increased, Jesus looked to God as his source of Infinite Abundance before blessing the loaves and fish to feed them all.
Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. (John 14:10-12)
~ As his time on earth was coming to an end, Jesus taught, prayed, and assured his disciples of his source of Infinite Life, God’s presence with him, and–through him–God’s presence in all of them, so that they could continue as his faithful apostles in the days ahead.
Jesus prayed with, looked to, and remained in God throughout his challenging lifetime. When we face the trials and troubles of each day, perhaps we can hold his perspective of being embraced by God’s Infinite Love, Abundance, and Life. Sheltered in our source of strength, courage, comfort, and trust, we can regard the issues and possible courses of action together. We can face each problem with less fear and less self-protection, secure in the perspective that Jesus held–that whatever this day brings, we will not be left alone.
(Photo by Jim–thank you, Honey.)
Bible verses are NRSVUE translation.
LONGING FOR GOD’S PERSPECTIVE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, March 19th
O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens…
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have established;
what are humans that you are mindful of them,
mortals that you care for them?
~ Psalm 8:1,3-4
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~ Isaiah 55:8-9
In these days when life feels upsetting and uncertain, I long to know God’s perspective. Is God pleased with the way things are unfolding here on earth …with the state of our nation …with the way I am living my life? I wonder, “What does God see in all of this?” And in moments of deep anger or frustration, I even wonder, “Does God see all of this? Is God paying attention?”
These passages comfort me today, bringing to mind my own experiences of God’s majesty. When I gaze up under a starry sky, stand before the ocean, hike up a mountain, or quietly watch a sunset, I feel such an incredible sense of smallness. I experience a variety of feelings such as awe, wonder, fear, gratitude, and even a bit of anxiety from the overwhelming awareness of my insignificance. But if I remain with these feelings and emotions for a while, a sense of humble and gentle relief comes over me…
I am a tiny speck in the infinite universe.
I am one person among more than 8 billion others on this planet earth,
in this one galaxy of an estimated 200 billion or more.
I am an incremental moment in the passage of time,
in a concept (time) that may be meaningless in an infinite eternity.
I am unable to conceive the greatness of God,
and unable to understand all of God’s ways.
Yes, I am quite insignificant.
And I am not the one in charge.
Thank you, God.
I can trust God to guide my small self into greater loving service for my place in the world, while releasing the troubles I cannot fix–and my worries about them–to God. The frailty of not having ultimate power brings the freedom from ultimate responsibility. If I can keep this perspective, I can persevere in peace.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 18th
And do not keep seeking what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. For it is the nations of the world that seek all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. ~ Luke 12:29-31 (NRSVUE)
One especially hot summer in Toledo, our local water became undrinkable when excess algae in Lake Erie overwhelmed the public water purification system. Concerned, Jim and I went to the grocery store to purchase some bottled water–and found the shelves empty. We expanded our search to several more places, but they had been cleared out, too. Finally, we drove for a while through the countryside until we found a small carry-out that still had bottled water available. We happily purchased enough drinking water to last for several days.
We headed for home, feeling peaceful and relieved, but soon our souls became unsettled. We recognized that we had just contributed to the very thing that had caused our frustration–the hoarding of clean water supplies. We had neglected God’s call to care for one another and to trust in God’s daily provision. And so, we decided to share our water with a few of the older folks in our faith community. We spent the afternoon visiting dear ones who were not easily able to travel very far, and we enjoyed sharing our friendship and our water supply.
Our stressful day became a joy-filled, memorable one.
Oh, this was such a small step of trust. I know I would not have felt as generous if the water shortage had impacted a larger area. I am certain that we can always share more than we do, more often than we do. But on that day, taking this small risk led to a feeling of genuine freedom that uplifted and eased our anxious spirits. We felt a deep trust in God’s provision that enabled us be part of God’s provision for others. Water was scarce but joy was overflowing.
Thank you, God, for prompting us to share, for poking us with your correction that day. Thank you for your abundance. Help us to never forget that every gift comes from you–for us to share with one another.
(Photo by Karen; Lake Erie in better days)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION-DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 17th
My Grace is Sufficient
(This excerpt is from my memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer. The journal entry in italics was written a few weeks after my surgery, when I felt healthier and stronger…)
During this time, my prayerful morning pages became more contemplative and reflective. My desperate pleas for God’s help lessened, while my attentive listening for God’s guidance increased. I began writing down any insights that I sensed Infinite Love was sharing with me.
I feel more joyful and optimistic this morning. I hadn’t fully sensed the relief of having this cancer gone, since my upcoming treatments feel so daunting. But today I have new optimism. I AM strong. I CAN do this. This is just another step to a long, FULL life.
Creator God, what would you have me know today?
“My grace is sufficient…” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV).
These words are for you, Karen. Don’t concern yourself with your future potential challenges. If you live for this day, this moment, you will find I am providing well for you. You have witnessed and experienced this already. The word, “sufficient” is your word for this day. My love and care are like manna, more than enough for your present moment. Make today a genuine bonus day, now that you are feeling better and stronger.
Today I am providing sufficient strength to bless others; sufficient healing to increase your optimism and energy; sufficient time to listen to another; sufficient joy to cheer Jim; sufficient peace to let go of concerns. Live each day as the bonus day I am gifting you!
When we think too far ahead and worry about our unknown future, we only hurt ourselves. God’s love and power are sufficient for each moment. I was strong enough to handle the first chemo sessions well. I had recovered enough to care for Jim (as best I could) after his surgery. I had enough strength for the stress of the flood, and I had family to help.
I had God’s sufficient love and strength for each new challenge.
~~~~~
May you feel the provision of God’s sufficient grace and abundant love, today and every day, my friends.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 14th
Changing Landscapes–a Benediction
(KLW October 2021)
When the landscape is unfamiliar
and the wilderness seems vast,
may you turn to take the hand of One
who guides and holds you fast.
May you place each changing landscape
into God’s all-knowing care
and ask how you may use this well
as you come to God in prayer.
May you hold in deepest gratitude
the landscapes you have known
as you follow holy cloud and fire
the journey you’ll be shown.
May you go forth in expectation
of great wonders (now concealed)
as you explore these new horizons
for the joy to be revealed.
(Photo by Karen; Mary Ingalls trail, WV)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 13th
It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them. ~ George Eliot
We know there’s more. We have a longing for eternity, and that longing is itself a longing for God who exists outside of time. ~ Jen Wilkin
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. ~ Matthew 5:6 (NRSVUE)
Along with our physical provisions, we can also find ourselves longing for something more… We long for God to provide a peace of mind, a hopeful heart, or a joy-filled soul. We long for a deeper sense of sacred purpose, abiding trust, and eternal meaning. As George Eliot says, we long to “feel the beautiful and good” all around us in our daily living.
I realized my soul had been desperate for these spiritual provisions of God when Jim and I watched a recent episode of “Home Town Takeover.” In this series, many people work together to renovate a town, giving the community a much-needed fresh start. I started crying even as I watched the previews! The show helped my jaded soul to remember that goodness, kindness, and love will always remain.
God is ready to provide for our spiritual and emotional needs. Tending our souls is not being neglectful of the problems around us, and taking time for ourselves is not being selfish. We need such gifts as peace, hope, and joy in order to persevere as followers of Christ, to continue living and serving with God’s generous love. God may grace us with surprising moments of joy, peace, or hope, but we can also do mindful practices that foster our openness to the Spirit’s movement and enable us to be more receptive to these gifts of God.
This Lenten season, I am both refraining and replenishing. I am trying to refrain from purchasing anything except essentials (simplicity is a gift for my spirit) and, one day a week, refrain from looking at news stories and social media. And I am trying to replenish my soul–to open myself to God as I walk in nature, read a good book, listen to an inspirational podcast, light a candle, or write creatively.
What do you long for most today? What would put a song in your soul? How might you open yourself to receive more of the goodness of God? May your deepest longings be revealed and filled through the perfect provision of God.
Take care of you today, dear friends.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, March 12th
Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he was tested by the devil. He ate nothing at all during those days, and when they were over he was famished. ~ Luke 4:1-2 (NRSVUE)
These days, I know I am one of many who are quite concerned about our personal safety, security, and well-being. I worry about the future, especially for our children and grandchildren, as those who have an abundance of wealth and resources are choosing to take even more from those who don’t (including the earth’s natural resources). Our need for security and our worldview of scarcity have led to much of our country’s tumult and fear–and global harm. *
I want to always have enough, to be secure, to feel safe; I want these assurances for everyone else, too. I am longing for God to provide for us all, yet aware that I could do much more to help God do so. But on this Lenten day, my longing for God’s provision invites me to attempt the opposite–to face the wilderness of scarcity and hunger as Jesus chose to do.
I trust that God, who is Infinite Love, wants no one to go hungry, to suffer, or to lack essential needs. But how would poverty and hunger transform my spirit? What does my fear of scarcity have to teach me? How might God use my feelings of anxiety and fear for good purposes?
I look at the rest of Luke’s passages in which Jesus responds to the temptations that arose from his hunger, solitude, and lack of basic comforts while he wandered the wilderness. Hungry, Jesus turns to God for sustenance. Seeing the potential for power, he keeps God as his authority. Taunted to prove his holy identity, he humbly leaves that to God.
God created the earth with the potential for generous abundance. If each of us could be mindful stewards of the earth’s goodness, trusting in God’s provision for ourselves and participating in God’s provision for others, there would be more than enough abundance for everyone. In the days ahead, may I follow the example of Jesus, turning to God for daily sustenance, trusting God as my guide, and letting my worthiness be only from God’s love in me. May I become one who contributes more than consumes, who helps more than hoards, and whose hunger is for God more than goods.
(Photo by Karen)
* I recently read and recommend Brian McLaren’s book, Life After Doom, in which he addresses “the catastrophic failure of both our religious and political leaders to address the dominant realities of our time: ecological overshoot, economic injustice, and the increasing likelihood of civilizational collapse.” It is a very difficult read, but very worthwhile. ~ https://brianmclaren.net/lad/
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 11th
This last reflection on our Longing for God’s Presence is a reminder that we can serve as God’s presence for others…
These days, I am finding much comfort in the presence of like-minded (and deeply hurting and concerned) friends and writers. During a recent retreat, I was uplifted and encouraged by the thoughtful, loving, soul-searching, vulnerable reflections of those who gathered that morning. When we share our burdens with one another, we are helped to know that we are not alone, that we have been heard and understood, and that kindness and love surround us. Whether our troubles are resolved, or remain, or worsen, we are strengthened and encouraged in the presence of loving care and compassion.
Recently our sons heard someone calling from inside an elevator as they were passing by. The poor man had been trapped for some time, and he said that others had ignored his pleas for help. Our dear ones could not free him, but they remained outside the doors and kept him company until the elevator service person arrived.
This is the gift of presence.
When troubles surround us, we can find our help in God, who is ever-present and lovingly companions us through all of life. God hears us, understands us, and offers us that peace beyond our understanding. And as we trust in God’s goodness, we can also serve as God’s loving, listening, understanding presence for others. We can become kind companions for the journey–unhindered by the size of a problem or our inability to fix it.
Enveloped in Your Light, may I be a beacon to those in search of Light.
Sheltered in Your Peace, may I offer shelter to those in need of peace.
Embraced by Your Presence, so may I be present to others.
~ Rami M. Shapiro
(Photo by Karen)
Simply Soul Searching 