Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 18th
And do not keep seeking what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. For it is the nations of the world that seek all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. ~ Luke 12:29-31 (NRSVUE)
One especially hot summer in Toledo, our local water became undrinkable when excess algae in Lake Erie overwhelmed the public water purification system. Concerned, Jim and I went to the grocery store to purchase some bottled water–and found the shelves empty. We expanded our search to several more places, but they had been cleared out, too. Finally, we drove for a while through the countryside until we found a small carry-out that still had bottled water available. We happily purchased enough drinking water to last for several days.
We headed for home, feeling peaceful and relieved, but soon our souls became unsettled. We recognized that we had just contributed to the very thing that had caused our frustration–the hoarding of clean water supplies. We had neglected God’s call to care for one another and to trust in God’s daily provision. And so, we decided to share our water with a few of the older folks in our faith community. We spent the afternoon visiting dear ones who were not easily able to travel very far, and we enjoyed sharing our friendship and our water supply.
Our stressful day became a joy-filled, memorable one.
Oh, this was such a small step of trust. I know I would not have felt as generous if the water shortage had impacted a larger area. I am certain that we can always share more than we do, more often than we do. But on that day, taking this small risk led to a feeling of genuine freedom that uplifted and eased our anxious spirits. We felt a deep trust in God’s provision that enabled us be part of God’s provision for others. Water was scarce but joy was overflowing.
Thank you, God, for prompting us to share, for poking us with your correction that day. Thank you for your abundance. Help us to never forget that every gift comes from you–for us to share with one another.
(Photo by Karen; Lake Erie in better days)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION-DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 17th
My Grace is Sufficient
(This excerpt is from my memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer. The journal entry in italics was written a few weeks after my surgery, when I felt healthier and stronger…)
During this time, my prayerful morning pages became more contemplative and reflective. My desperate pleas for God’s help lessened, while my attentive listening for God’s guidance increased. I began writing down any insights that I sensed Infinite Love was sharing with me.
I feel more joyful and optimistic this morning. I hadn’t fully sensed the relief of having this cancer gone, since my upcoming treatments feel so daunting. But today I have new optimism. I AM strong. I CAN do this. This is just another step to a long, FULL life.
Creator God, what would you have me know today?
“My grace is sufficient…” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV).
These words are for you, Karen. Don’t concern yourself with your future potential challenges. If you live for this day, this moment, you will find I am providing well for you. You have witnessed and experienced this already. The word, “sufficient” is your word for this day. My love and care are like manna, more than enough for your present moment. Make today a genuine bonus day, now that you are feeling better and stronger.
Today I am providing sufficient strength to bless others; sufficient healing to increase your optimism and energy; sufficient time to listen to another; sufficient joy to cheer Jim; sufficient peace to let go of concerns. Live each day as the bonus day I am gifting you!
When we think too far ahead and worry about our unknown future, we only hurt ourselves. God’s love and power are sufficient for each moment. I was strong enough to handle the first chemo sessions well. I had recovered enough to care for Jim (as best I could) after his surgery. I had enough strength for the stress of the flood, and I had family to help.
I had God’s sufficient love and strength for each new challenge.
~~~~~
May you feel the provision of God’s sufficient grace and abundant love, today and every day, my friends.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 14th
Changing Landscapes–a Benediction
(KLW October 2021)
When the landscape is unfamiliar
and the wilderness seems vast,
may you turn to take the hand of One
who guides and holds you fast.
May you place each changing landscape
into God’s all-knowing care
and ask how you may use this well
as you come to God in prayer.
May you hold in deepest gratitude
the landscapes you have known
as you follow holy cloud and fire
the journey you’ll be shown.
May you go forth in expectation
of great wonders (now concealed)
as you explore these new horizons
for the joy to be revealed.
(Photo by Karen; Mary Ingalls trail, WV)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 13th
It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them. ~ George Eliot
We know there’s more. We have a longing for eternity, and that longing is itself a longing for God who exists outside of time. ~ Jen Wilkin
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. ~ Matthew 5:6 (NRSVUE)
Along with our physical provisions, we can also find ourselves longing for something more… We long for God to provide a peace of mind, a hopeful heart, or a joy-filled soul. We long for a deeper sense of sacred purpose, abiding trust, and eternal meaning. As George Eliot says, we long to “feel the beautiful and good” all around us in our daily living.
I realized my soul had been desperate for these spiritual provisions of God when Jim and I watched a recent episode of “Home Town Takeover.” In this series, many people work together to renovate a town, giving the community a much-needed fresh start. I started crying even as I watched the previews! The show helped my jaded soul to remember that goodness, kindness, and love will always remain.
God is ready to provide for our spiritual and emotional needs. Tending our souls is not being neglectful of the problems around us, and taking time for ourselves is not being selfish. We need such gifts as peace, hope, and joy in order to persevere as followers of Christ, to continue living and serving with God’s generous love. God may grace us with surprising moments of joy, peace, or hope, but we can also do mindful practices that foster our openness to the Spirit’s movement and enable us to be more receptive to these gifts of God.
This Lenten season, I am both refraining and replenishing. I am trying to refrain from purchasing anything except essentials (simplicity is a gift for my spirit) and, one day a week, refrain from looking at news stories and social media. And I am trying to replenish my soul–to open myself to God as I walk in nature, read a good book, listen to an inspirational podcast, light a candle, or write creatively.
What do you long for most today? What would put a song in your soul? How might you open yourself to receive more of the goodness of God? May your deepest longings be revealed and filled through the perfect provision of God.
Take care of you today, dear friends.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PROVISION, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Wednesday, March 12th
Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he was tested by the devil. He ate nothing at all during those days, and when they were over he was famished. ~ Luke 4:1-2 (NRSVUE)
These days, I know I am one of many who are quite concerned about our personal safety, security, and well-being. I worry about the future, especially for our children and grandchildren, as those who have an abundance of wealth and resources are choosing to take even more from those who don’t (including the earth’s natural resources). Our need for security and our worldview of scarcity have led to much of our country’s tumult and fear–and global harm. *
I want to always have enough, to be secure, to feel safe; I want these assurances for everyone else, too. I am longing for God to provide for us all, yet aware that I could do much more to help God do so. But on this Lenten day, my longing for God’s provision invites me to attempt the opposite–to face the wilderness of scarcity and hunger as Jesus chose to do.
I trust that God, who is Infinite Love, wants no one to go hungry, to suffer, or to lack essential needs. But how would poverty and hunger transform my spirit? What does my fear of scarcity have to teach me? How might God use my feelings of anxiety and fear for good purposes?
I look at the rest of Luke’s passages in which Jesus responds to the temptations that arose from his hunger, solitude, and lack of basic comforts while he wandered the wilderness. Hungry, Jesus turns to God for sustenance. Seeing the potential for power, he keeps God as his authority. Taunted to prove his holy identity, he humbly leaves that to God.
God created the earth with the potential for generous abundance. If each of us could be mindful stewards of the earth’s goodness, trusting in God’s provision for ourselves and participating in God’s provision for others, there would be more than enough abundance for everyone. In the days ahead, may I follow the example of Jesus, turning to God for daily sustenance, trusting God as my guide, and letting my worthiness be only from God’s love in me. May I become one who contributes more than consumes, who helps more than hoards, and whose hunger is for God more than goods.
(Photo by Karen)
* I recently read and recommend Brian McLaren’s book, Life After Doom, in which he addresses “the catastrophic failure of both our religious and political leaders to address the dominant realities of our time: ecological overshoot, economic injustice, and the increasing likelihood of civilizational collapse.” It is a very difficult read, but very worthwhile. ~ https://brianmclaren.net/lad/
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY FIVE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Tuesday, March 11th
This last reflection on our Longing for God’s Presence is a reminder that we can serve as God’s presence for others…
These days, I am finding much comfort in the presence of like-minded (and deeply hurting and concerned) friends and writers. During a recent retreat, I was uplifted and encouraged by the thoughtful, loving, soul-searching, vulnerable reflections of those who gathered that morning. When we share our burdens with one another, we are helped to know that we are not alone, that we have been heard and understood, and that kindness and love surround us. Whether our troubles are resolved, or remain, or worsen, we are strengthened and encouraged in the presence of loving care and compassion.
Recently our sons heard someone calling from inside an elevator as they were passing by. The poor man had been trapped for some time, and he said that others had ignored his pleas for help. Our dear ones could not free him, but they remained outside the doors and kept him company until the elevator service person arrived.
This is the gift of presence.
When troubles surround us, we can find our help in God, who is ever-present and lovingly companions us through all of life. God hears us, understands us, and offers us that peace beyond our understanding. And as we trust in God’s goodness, we can also serve as God’s loving, listening, understanding presence for others. We can become kind companions for the journey–unhindered by the size of a problem or our inability to fix it.
Enveloped in Your Light, may I be a beacon to those in search of Light.
Sheltered in Your Peace, may I offer shelter to those in need of peace.
Embraced by Your Presence, so may I be present to others.
~ Rami M. Shapiro
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 10th
(This is an excerpt from my memoir, one of my prayerful journal entries written when I had ovarian cancer.)
God of my past, present, and future, what would you have me know today?
Seeking Karen,
Today you are noticing how the fragility of life has blessed you richly. Your awareness that your life or health could change at any time has really awakened your passion for living. This is an invaluable gift I have given you. You have new courage, joy, freedom, and genuine peace. One day of living this way is worth one thousand days.
I have been with you throughout your past. All of your life experiences—the joys, the sorrows, the pinnacles, the valleys—have formed who you are today. I have made good come from it all. In this you have come to trust me.
I am with you in this present moment. Whenever you open your eyes and heart fully, you notice my presence and my work within and around you. Every moment becomes a sacred, holy gift to you. In this you have found reverence and joy.
I go with you into your future. These steps of courage and faith will lead you and Jim to a new life in West Virginia. You are eager to bless others in new ways, and to have precious time with loved ones. You are also excited to write of me and how I have been so very present in your life. You know I am already in your new apartment. In this you find hope and inspiration.
I am your God of your entire life. I love you beyond your comprehension.
Today, may we remember how much we are loved, always, beyond our comprehension.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 7th
A Reflection on God’s Love
(KLW February 2022)
Your love is an infinite love.
Yet we are unaware
that you are here among us
and we lose our expectation –
of your presence and your promise
that you will always care
and miss your love that still abounds
in constant revelation.
Your love is an intimate love.
You know our deepest soul
and you long to partner with us
in prayerful exploration
of hidden things you will reveal
as you help to make us whole
in our journey of discovery
and mutual adoration.
Your love is a protective love.
You watch and guard and wait
for all of us, your children,
always carefully attending.
There is no place you will not go,
no sacrifice too great;
the immensity of your kindness
is beyond our comprehending.
Your love is a delighting love.
May we, your children grow
in joyful hope and peaceful love
from your genuine affection.
As you desire to be with us
we ask that you will show
us more of you; that we will keep
becoming your reflection.
Your love is a companioning love
and we have come to find
your patience and your goodness
as our trusted, faithful friend.
As you continue on with us
may we so humbly bind
ourselves as true companions
sharing love that has no end.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 6th
Our longing for God’s presence opens us to be attentive to the ways God is present to us in everything, everywhere. We begin noticing more of God by first trusting in this truth, that God is here among us and within us.
Jesus assures us of this:
Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” ~ Luke 17:20-21
Paul expands on this:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:38-39
And spiritual writer and priest, Richard Rohr, notes:
We cannot attain the presence of God. We’re already totally in the presence of God. What’s missing is awareness.
What keeps us from being attentive to the presence of God? We might miss out on God’s presence because we are busy or distracted, but I also wonder how often I miss the presence of God because my expectations are too large. God is infinite, majestic, indescribable—and yet God comes to us in the smallness of the tiny baby in a humble manger, in the changing of the season, in the friendship of another, in the quiet thought, in the gathering of community.
May we walk in that awareness today. And may we mindful of opportunities to actually serve as someone else’s God-moment, as God’s loving presence made visible in this ordinary day.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Ash Wednesday, March 5th
Lent is a season in which we seek more of God’s presence in our lives, a time when we often choose spiritual practices to enhance our awareness of this holy presence. I find a precious, sacred gift in understanding that God not only initiates our longings but also answers these longings and guides us to fulfill them. Through Jesus’ life, we come to know that God’s presence is with us, and God’s presence is within us and all of creation as well.
The next day John (the Baptist) again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by he exclaimed, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. ~ JOHN 1:35-39 (NRSVUE)
If Jesus asked you today, “What are you looking for?” what would be your answer? What would be your holy longing?
When I envisioned Jesus asking me the question, I became inspired to write this poem.
A special sense about this man
drew me to walk behind,
though I’m not one who changes course
without a plan in mind.
We walked in silence for some time,
and then he asked of me,
“What is it you are looking for?
What do you want to see?”
But my response was tears, no words;
I could not speak at all,
both overwhelmed by my great need,
made mute by sacred awe.
And so he waited patiently
for me to understand
that I just need him close to me…
“Will you please hold my hand?”
Prayer:
Holy God, Infinite Love, as we begin this Lenten journey, we thank you for the holy longings you place within us—sacred gifts to draw us closer to you. Guide our reflections this season, that we may follow Christ more closely, be more attentive to your presence, and deepen in our love for you and one another.
(Photo by Karen)
Simply Soul Searching 