Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY FOUR
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Monday, March 10th
(This is an excerpt from my memoir, one of my prayerful journal entries written when I had ovarian cancer.)
God of my past, present, and future, what would you have me know today?
Seeking Karen,
Today you are noticing how the fragility of life has blessed you richly. Your awareness that your life or health could change at any time has really awakened your passion for living. This is an invaluable gift I have given you. You have new courage, joy, freedom, and genuine peace. One day of living this way is worth one thousand days.
I have been with you throughout your past. All of your life experiences—the joys, the sorrows, the pinnacles, the valleys—have formed who you are today. I have made good come from it all. In this you have come to trust me.
I am with you in this present moment. Whenever you open your eyes and heart fully, you notice my presence and my work within and around you. Every moment becomes a sacred, holy gift to you. In this you have found reverence and joy.
I go with you into your future. These steps of courage and faith will lead you and Jim to a new life in West Virginia. You are eager to bless others in new ways, and to have precious time with loved ones. You are also excited to write of me and how I have been so very present in your life. You know I am already in your new apartment. In this you find hope and inspiration.
I am your God of your entire life. I love you beyond your comprehension.
Today, may we remember how much we are loved, always, beyond our comprehension.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY THREE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Friday, March 7th
A Reflection on God’s Love
(KLW February 2022)
Your love is an infinite love.
Yet we are unaware
that you are here among us
and we lose our expectation –
of your presence and your promise
that you will always care
and miss your love that still abounds
in constant revelation.
Your love is an intimate love.
You know our deepest soul
and you long to partner with us
in prayerful exploration
of hidden things you will reveal
as you help to make us whole
in our journey of discovery
and mutual adoration.
Your love is a protective love.
You watch and guard and wait
for all of us, your children,
always carefully attending.
There is no place you will not go,
no sacrifice too great;
the immensity of your kindness
is beyond our comprehending.
Your love is a delighting love.
May we, your children grow
in joyful hope and peaceful love
from your genuine affection.
As you desire to be with us
we ask that you will show
us more of you; that we will keep
becoming your reflection.
Your love is a companioning love
and we have come to find
your patience and your goodness
as our trusted, faithful friend.
As you continue on with us
may we so humbly bind
ourselves as true companions
sharing love that has no end.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY TWO
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Thursday, March 6th
Our longing for God’s presence opens us to be attentive to the ways God is present to us in everything, everywhere. We begin noticing more of God by first trusting in this truth, that God is here among us and within us.
Jesus assures us of this:
Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” ~ Luke 17:20-21
Paul expands on this:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:38-39
And spiritual writer and priest, Richard Rohr, notes:
We cannot attain the presence of God. We’re already totally in the presence of God. What’s missing is awareness.
What keeps us from being attentive to the presence of God? We might miss out on God’s presence because we are busy or distracted, but I also wonder how often I miss the presence of God because my expectations are too large. God is infinite, majestic, indescribable—and yet God comes to us in the smallness of the tiny baby in a humble manger, in the changing of the season, in the friendship of another, in the quiet thought, in the gathering of community.
May we walk in that awareness today. And may we mindful of opportunities to actually serve as someone else’s God-moment, as God’s loving presence made visible in this ordinary day.
(Photo by Karen)
LONGING FOR GOD’S PRESENCE, DAY ONE
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Ash Wednesday, March 5th
Lent is a season in which we seek more of God’s presence in our lives, a time when we often choose spiritual practices to enhance our awareness of this holy presence. I find a precious, sacred gift in understanding that God not only initiates our longings but also answers these longings and guides us to fulfill them. Through Jesus’ life, we come to know that God’s presence is with us, and God’s presence is within us and all of creation as well.
The next day John (the Baptist) again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by he exclaimed, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. ~ JOHN 1:35-39 (NRSVUE)
If Jesus asked you today, “What are you looking for?” what would be your answer? What would be your holy longing?
When I envisioned Jesus asking me the question, I became inspired to write this poem.
A special sense about this man
drew me to walk behind,
though I’m not one who changes course
without a plan in mind.
We walked in silence for some time,
and then he asked of me,
“What is it you are looking for?
What do you want to see?”
But my response was tears, no words;
I could not speak at all,
both overwhelmed by my great need,
made mute by sacred awe.
And so he waited patiently
for me to understand
that I just need him close to me…
“Will you please hold my hand?”
Prayer:
Holy God, Infinite Love, as we begin this Lenten journey, we thank you for the holy longings you place within us—sacred gifts to draw us closer to you. Guide our reflections this season, that we may follow Christ more closely, be more attentive to your presence, and deepen in our love for you and one another.
(Photo by Karen)
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? THE HOLY LONGINGS OF LENT
INTRODUCTION
What you are longing for is longing for you.
~ Ralph Marston
My Reader Friends,
Tomorrow (Saturday) I will be leading a mini retreat here in West Virginia with a group of gracious folks who are gathering for a morning of prayer and reflection. Our retreat will focus on three spiritual longings many of us are carrying during these trying times–our longing for a sense of God’s presence, God’s peace, and God’s purpose for the living of our days. Our reflections will center around the question Jesus asked his first followers, “What are you looking for?” in the passage from John 1.
For this season’s Lenten Reflections (here at Simply Soul Searching), I will be expanding on this retreat and adding a few more of our deepest longings for daily living. Our theme will be “What Are You Looking For?” and we will consider one holy longing each week (with five weekday reflections). I have a few additional longings in mind (along with Presence, Peace, Purpose, I am considering Provision and Perspective so far), but I am curious. Do YOU have any particular holy longings for this Lenten season? What are your hopes as you follow Christ?
I would love to know what word you would use to complete this sentence: “This Lenten season, I long for God’s _________ in/for my daily living.” And it doesn’t have to begin with the letter P! 😉 (There is a comment section below if you would like to answer.)
I hope that you are blessed in the readings, questions, and reflections, as we come to God with the deepest longings of our souls. You are blessings for me!
Thank you!
Karen
(Photo by Karen)
Another note:
I was surprised (and delighted) to see that the Center for Action and Contemplation is hosting an event in March with the same title I used in the recent blog series, What Do I Do with My Anger? It certainly seems to be a question many of us are asking! If you would like to pursue this question further, you may be interested in attending this event. Richard Rohr and Brian McLaren are excellent and insightful speakers. Here is the link:
WHAT DO I DO WITH MY ANGER? (#3)
PERSUADE, PROVIDE, PERSIST
Conquer the angry one by not getting angry;
conquer the wicked by goodness;
conquer the stingy by generosity,
and the liar by speaking the truth.
~ The Dhammapada
There are times when anger should move us to action, when we must defend what is right and just, when we must protest what is not. As I reflect on how I might take action this week, three ways come to mind: persuade, provide, and persist.
Jim and I have tried to persuade leaders into changing unjust attitudes and policies. We have written letters to representatives and elected officials, and we have spoken before county commissioners and school board members. Each time, our correspondence has not prompted a reply. Our speeches have not softened stances or impacted decisions. We have yet to hear someone say, “Oh, I see your point now, thank you!”
But even if Jim and I cannot persuade, we can provide. When we speak against injustice, we are providing companionship, alliance, and encouragement for our marginalized or oppressed friends–the ones who are quietly listening, who tearfully thank us afterward. We can also provide help through other ways (offering community support, raising awareness and understanding) for those whose needs are largely ignored and whose identities are demeaned.
And when we are unable to persuade leaders into changing their minds and attitudes, we can provide our gratitude and financial support for the ones who can be more influential–the like-minded political and spiritual leaders who share our values of justice, equality, and democracy; the ones who can be more persuasive through their position, community involvement, integrity, or eloquent speech.
Our ability to make a difference will also increase as greater numbers of us with smaller voices or lesser roles persist in bringing about change. Joining with others in a common cause provides us with the courage, camaraderie, and enthusiasm to take on the issues before us. Our persistence will convey our determination, our strength, and our unity as we work against the ills of our society. We can persist in prayer (Luke 18:1), in meeting together (Matthew 18:20), and in working for good (Galatians 6:9).
Jesus’s life was one of persistent action against injustice, oppression, and other societal issues, and his life serves as an example for us. He stood against biased and harmful political, social, and religious systems by modeling a different way. He protested by turning tables, but also with thought-provoking statements and at times, silence. Jesus persuaded his followers by modeling goodness against wickedness, simplicity and generosity against greed and power, and speaking truth against falsehoods and fabrications. He worked against unjust social systems by providing both help and hope for those who were poor, suffering, and marginalized. Jesus didn’t spend as much time trying to persuade the powerful, hard-hearted leaders of their day, but instead, provided his humble followers with loving guidance and eternal hope to live a better way.
Help me, God, to follow the ways of Christ as I work to make a good difference in this world; to persuade through loving kindness, to provide with faithful generosity, and to persist in eternal hope.
What do I do with my anger?
1. Begin with God.
2. Step out in faith.
3. Persuade, provide, and persist.
This is the last of my What Do I Do with My Anger? series. Take good care, my friends.
(Photo by Karen)
WHAT DO I DO WITH MY ANGER? (#2)
STEP OUT IN FAITH
The first step in our walk of faith is to stop our own works and rest in God’s love, wisdom and power.
~ T. B. Joshua
In last week’s post, I wrote about mindfully choosing to abide with God in these months of dark uncertainty and anger; to center in love and wait patiently for guidance. This has been a needful time to regather my spirit, comfort my hurt, confess my shortcomings, and seek holy perspectives. T. B. Joshua’s words have really resonated with me. But on a list of quotes about guidance * (where I found Joshua’s words), I read another quote that suddenly revealed my next step:
Decide that you are not going to stay where you are. ~ J. P. Morgan
These months of abiding in the darkness have been comforting, restoring–and necessary. But when does “abiding in God” become “holy” procrastinating? When is “patient centering” really an excuse to remain comfortable, or really a cover-up for lack of courage? Because in these months, I have been discounting or declining a few invitations to serve in new ways, keeping my fists clenched in frustration instead of opening my hands to serve. Am I truly deepening in patience and wisdom, or am I timidly avoiding the next step?
I decided to look up scripture verses that address procrastination, and this verse from Ecclesiastes spoke to my soul:
Whoever observes the wind will not sow,
and whoever regards the clouds will not reap.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NRSVUE)
I must remember that God does not expect perfection but humble and loving service… that taking one step is an opportunity to learn and grow in the exploration… that God and I can change directions if need be… and that waiting for perfect conditions (like the wind and clouds in Ecclesiastes) will only keep me from doing what I can–even from doing what I may be called to do.
My pastor and friend, Darick Biondi, recently shared with me an opportunity to spend time with adults who have special needs in a “SNAP” program hosted by another local church. I would not have envisioned myself serving this way–in an area outside of my main concerns and frustrations–but I am going to take that first step. Maybe doing something, maybe serving in an unexpected way, will be a starting point for the Spirit to transform my anger into more loving and beneficial acts of kindness.
What do I do with my anger?
1. Begin with God.
2. Step out in faith.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.
(Galatians 5:25 NRSVUE)
* https://www.azquotes.com/
Bible verses found at https://www.biblegateway.com/
Photo by Karen
WHAT DO I DO WITH MY ANGER? (#1)
BEGIN WITH GOD
This week, I have seen many posts from friends, family, and other writers who share these feelings of frustration, sadness, depression, and anger that I am experiencing. I hope that my writing will help those of you who are struggling along with me today.
I am generally one who is peaceful, hopeful, gentle, and joyful; I am also one who worries, overthinks, and can be sensitive or defensive. Oh, but this anger is not a natural reaction for me! Even during some very difficult days of facing fears or foes, I have not felt this depth of anger I feel now. Anger in itself is not wrong, but when it affects my natural disposition and loving spirit, when I want to “kick back” or hate another, I know that it is not healthy.
So, I am regularly asking God, “What do I do with my anger?”
The first invitation came in a podcast I heard this week. A guest on Life with God, Mimi Dixon, quoted Catherine Doherty (a Russian-born Catholic activist):
“You must never lose track of keeping first things first: to love God and know God. Out of this focus on God, what follows is much prayer, thought, and meditation–and then action. Keeping first things first will put all of your works in the right proportion.” *
I found her words to be timely and wise.
Anger often unsettles us, blurs our focus, emboldens our defensive ego, and impels us to react hastily or ungraciously. Regularly centering ourselves in God–quieting in God’s goodness, seeking peace and humility, listening with patience–will equip us with more faithful perspectives and responses when anger arises.
Anger teaches us, too. Anger reveals what is most important to us, where our passions lie, and what issues should be our priority. We also learn how vulnerable we can be to outside influences; how fragile we are in this world. By keeping centered in God, we will mature in faith and character, discern the best way for us to serve, and rely on God for strength and courage.
Anger summons us to action; but again, our right action is found by loving God and letting God transform our anger for holy purposes. When we truly turn our focus on God, our lives will more visibly demonstrate God’s universal love, for we will we act and serve from that center of love, peace, and goodwill–as we work to right the wrongs, reconcile differences, and strive for the betterment of all humanity.
What do I do with my anger? I am to begin with God.
Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. (John 15:4 NRSVUE)
(In the next weeks, I will be sharing any new inspirations that come to me as I continue to ask God, “What Do I Do with My Anger?”)
* https://renovare.org/podcast/mimi-dixon-on-catherine-doherty
Photo by Karen
WHEN COMFORT COMES FIRST
The winter season is here in the northern hemisphere, and for many of us, the season is a fitting one for our personal heartaches, family sorrows, and genuine concern for our country and world. The daylight has lessened, the weather is cold and harsh, and a sense of isolation deepens as we shelter indoors. As my soul continues to abide in a time of darkness *, any glimmers of peace or hope feel fragile and fleeting.
But during the 12 Days of Christmas, I was blessed by the daily reflections offered at Cloister Notes with Dr. Almut Furchert.1 The spiritual meditations shared by Dr. Almut and Chuck Huff, PhD, were perfect for reading and reflecting in this time. At the end of the season, I wrote this note of thanks:
My hurting soul has felt nearly desperate to find hope and peace for this time; and here, I have found a quiet comfort that I sense will eventually lead to this hope and peace. In every post, I can feel your genuine humility, holy longing, deep compassion, and willingness to let the Spirit lead. Thank you.”
I am learning that a sense of comfort is an essential first step toward regaining peace and hope… that God works to restore our peace and hope by first providing comfort in times of discouragement, darkness, or despair.
When life caves in, you do not need reasons — you need comfort. You do not need some answers — you need someone. And Jesus does not come to us with an explanation — He comes to us with His presence.
~ Bob Benson
When problems or troubles can’t be quickly remedied, God’s comforting presence feels like a loving guardian who holds us and listens to our concerns, soothes our aching hearts, and eases our anxieties, so we feel understood and beloved. God’s comfort comes through the companions who sit with us in the darkness… who share our heartaches… who offer encouragement yet honor our silence… who cover us in prayer… who help us feel less alone… whose words sustain us… whose presence helps us to endure.
As we abide in the darkness, we are never alone. Infinite Love remains with us and in us. Infinite Love comes to us through compassionate and caring companions. We can cling to God and to one another until a bright light of hope and warm sense of peace may return once again.
Thank you for your companionship here.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
1 https://www.cloisterseminars.org/ or https://almutfurchert.substack.com
* https://simplysoulsearching.com/2024/12/12/8-an-advent-among-other-things-peace-through-darkness/
Photo by Jim Wicker (thank you, Honey!)
~~~~~~~~~~
Along with Cloister Notes, here are a few other excellent resources I have found comforting–I hope they will comfort you, too:
Substack:
Chasing the Blue Flower with Laura Boggess (https://laurajboggess.substack.com),
Coming Down to Earth with Barbara Brown Taylor (https://barbarabrowntaylor.substack.com/)
A Gathering of Spirits with Carrie Newcomer (https://carrienewcomer.substack.com/)
and she has beautiful music (listen to “You Can Do This Hard Thing” and “Another Day”)
Especially for writers and readers:
Nooks and Crannies (https://mailesilva.substack.com/)
The Courage to Live It (https://shawnsmucker.substack.com/)
Podcast:
Life with God (https://renovare.org/podcast)
“ONE VERY GOOD…”
Over the holiday break, I had the privilege of spending a day with my 5-year-old granddaughter. It was one of those days when I had no pressing obligations, no tasks that needed to be done, and so I felt attentive and present to our day together. We planned our day’s activities over a morning treat–a doughnut for her, coffee for me–and then set out to accomplish them. First, we dipped balls of cookie dough into colorful sugars, tucked them into the oven, and watched them spread into wider circles of color. We played several rounds of Hide & Seek, created a house with building blocks, colored a few pages from an old coloring book, and before going home, she made two special Christmas ornaments for their family tree. We had a simple, fun-filled day of love.
I worry for my grandchildren. I wonder what kind of world, what kind of future they will have, with many concerns for all of humanity and creation.
But today we shared one very good day.
~~~~~
My sister Janet is the main caretaker of our mom, whose awareness has diminished over her 99 years. Janet spends time with her nearly every day, takes her to appointments and family gatherings, assists with her eating, decorates her room with seasonal decor, gives her manicures, and shares family memories with photos and stories. Mom sleeps quite a bit and her memory is fading, but Janet continues to love and serve her well.
And sometimes Janet sees a smile of joyful recognition in one very good moment.
~~~~~
In September, two dear friends and I gathered at BGSU to celebrate the 50th anniversary of our freshman year, the year we first became friends. Over lunch, we shared the highs and lows of our lives since we were last together, and we affirmed our long friendship even as time and distance often keep us apart. As we then walked the campus, we laughed while recalling memories of our fun and silly times, observed the many changes and new buildings, and relished our reconnection after all this time.
After years apart, we were together for one very good afternoon.
~~~~~
These stories are forming a guiding motto for me in this new year. Life is often quite challenging, sad, lonely, frustrating, demanding. We cannot fix the world or solve every problem.
But today…
We can be joyfully present; we can cherish our time with loved ones to share one very good day.
We can be patiently compassionate; we can persevere in love to share one very good moment.
We can be gratefully reflective; we can reunite and remember in sweet friendship to share one very good afternoon.
We can enter each day with a determination to bring about “one very good…” for someone. We can watch for one very good opportunity to give someone a reason for hope, for peace, for joy, for gratitude.
And when we do, we may just find that our days are creating one very good life.
(Photo by Karen)
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