Borders

Early each morning I take my first cup of coffee to my writing desk, light a candle, and journal about whatever is on my heart. After I write about my reflections of the day before and my hopes for the new day, I end with a question for God: “What would you have me know today?” I then write the inspirations and thoughts that come to me.

I’ve become rather “fastidious” about my journal. I begin writing at the top of a clean, fresh page with each new day. I also try to fill each page completely so that there is no wasted space between days. This practice makes the pages all so “neat and tidy.”

So this morning I asked God my usual question, but I noticed that I only had 4-5 lines remaining on the page. In my heart, I was hoping that whatever I heard would be concise enough to fit in the remaining space! I could almost hear God chuckle. “Yes, God, I will follow wherever you lead me, just don’t make me venture onto the next page of my journal.” “God, I’m making myself totally available to listen to you, but will you please keep your message brief this morning? You have about four lines to convey your message. Thank you.”

We are hearing the word, “borders” quite a bit these days. And now I am thinking of my own invisible borders, even with the God who loves me more than I love myself. In my heart, I truly hope to follow where God leads me, and yet I harbor these constraints with my time, space, security- and even journal pages!

This morning I have been reminded to allow God the space to move freely and to speak openly. If I am to hear God’s guidance for me, my heart needs to be genuinely open to receive the entire message. I hope that I am learning what it really means to be available… to let go of practices and parameters and other invisible borders… to be willing to reflect and listen beyond the allotted space… to surrender a “neat and tidy” life… to follow God bravely onto the next new page of the journey.