Ah, these early February days, when (here in the northern hemisphere) I grow weary of the winter. I have the usual seasonal conflict of longing for spring – while lamenting that life passes too swiftly! These are the days when I feel a certain emptiness, a desire for something more. Of course, my first response is to begin considering…
Wouldn’t it be nice to get away for a few days?
Should we go to dinner, see a movie?
I need a new sweater…
Maybe I will head to the library for a few books.
Our walls could use a brighter color.
Any of these ideas – and others – will help uplift my spirit, break up the monotony of gray days, or offer respite and renewal. They are worthwhile ways to bring beauty to life.
But today I’m asking, “What if this moment is an invitation to embrace emptiness and simply wait… for God to fill it? What if this emptiness does not signify a lack, but an opening?” As I journaled about these thoughts, I sensed God saying this to me:
Could this simply be your holy longing, that emptiness that draws you ever closer to me? Instead of questioning or seeing this as a detriment, embrace this emptiness and keep it open. This is an opportunity for you to wait on me, to trust that my goodness will fill your empty space. Regard this emptiness as a gift, a precious reminder that you will always have a holy longing for more… for me.
not reaching for
but abiding in
not moving toward
but clearing away
not drawing closer
but remaining still
not seeking more
but surrendering all
not filling up
but holding space
Please fill me with your goodness, God.
I will wait.
(Photo by Karen)
My boredom’s lit by fascination,
the sharpest edge is dull,
contentment mirrors consternation
and my emptiness is full.
I am not so very bright,
but in humbleness I have no shame,
for in my slackness I am tight,
with genius as my middle name.
At both ends I’m in the middle,
true to life a work of fiction
with no question mark, a riddle
in the guise of contradiction
low-born to the highest bred,
a product of what I have said.
“It is a puzzlement!” – Yul Brynner, playing the King Of Siam
You have described our natural contradictions very well, my friend. Thank you, as always.
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Your words had so much meaning for me today.
Helped me on my journey.
I’m thankful for you and the LIGHT of God living in you that shines on those of us u come in contact with from conversations, seeing you walking in our neighborhood and in your blogs from simply soul searching.
Oh Diana, bless you and thank you. Your kind friendship is a gift from God.