“SIT HERE WHILE I PRAY…”

Our weekly Creation Care group had just shared our prayer concerns when our gentle leader, Laura, invited us to a time of Lectio Divina. She explained that she would read a Bible passage three times, and we were to listen for a word or phrase that touched our souls or inspired additional reflection. As Laura began reading the passage about Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:32-42), I immediately recognized my phrase.

Jesus tells his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.”

On my morning walk earlier that day, I had considered how my inner peace has been elusive in these stressful times. I have experienced wonderful moments of joy and peace–spending time with family and friends, watching the sunrise, reading uplifting books, traveling with Jim–but these have been momentary distractions from an angst that lingers. I have had feelings of peace when I take a stand against injustices or find a way to bless others, but frustration returns when my efforts feel so insignificant. I have been deeply longing for an abiding peace that will remain even amid my reasons for sorrow, worry, and fear. I journaled after my walk: “I’m wondering what to do to help my soul recenter in a more abiding peace.”

I received my answer that evening.

“Sit here while I pray,” Jesus says.

Since then, I have spent five minutes each morning on our back porch, sitting in silence while I envision Jesus praying for me. This is quickly becoming a treasured practice for a number of reasons.

I had tried silent meditation several times in the past, but I would become more intent on keeping my mind clear than just being still. Now, by entrusting this time to Jesus, I don’t feel concerned when distractions arise–I simply invite Jesus to take those and do what he will with them. There are times when I become tearful; I am so relieved to let Jesus hold the world and all my concerns for a while. I feel new curiosity and anticipation when I sense that the prayers being said for me are more expansive, more creative, than the ones I would consider. Most of all, I feel lovingly held and comforted.

Will my inner peace deepen? I don’t know–and maybe that’s the way it should be. I am learning to trust that Jesus knows exactly what I need for these days.

So, I will sit here while he prays.