Simply Soul Searching

How many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect? And do you not remember? Do you not yet understand?

Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, “Watch out—beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod.” They said to one another, “It is because we have no bread.” And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?” And they said to him, “Seven.” Then he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?” (Mark 8:14-21 NRSV)

Jesus has many questions for the disciples. As we read yesterday, the disciples were with Jesus when he fed the entire crowd with a few loaves of bread- not once, but twice- and with so much abundance that they collected baskets full of leftover pieces. And yet in this story, they are fretting about only having one loaf of bread to share. Jesus wonders why they are anxious, why they don’t remember, and why they don’t understand what he is doing.

How could the disciples not remember the great miracles of feeding the crowds? Why would they become anxious and worried when they have Jesus right there with them? How do they miss the lessons he teaches, the example he lives, and the trust in God he demonstrates as they travel together?

We can be just as forgetful. How often do we forget our own experiences of God’s abundance? How often do we fail to remember the ways God has provided for us- not just once, but twice, and over and over again? How God has given us not just enough, but more than enough?

We forget each time we have doubts, anxiety, fear, or uncertainty about our days. We forget that God is our constant presence, an ever-flowing supply of all that we need. God abundantly provides daily bread… comfort… healing… guidance… strength… love… hope… help.

My journal serves as a reminder for me. Each time I look back on previous daily entries, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness through all of life. The Bible also serves as a journal of faithfulness, doesn’t it? When we need a reminder, maybe that’s the best place to look.

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “How many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect? And do you not remember? Do you not yet understand?”

Are you currently worried about something in particular? Can you revisit moments in your past when God supplied exactly what you needed, and more? Can you remember a Biblical example of God working through hard situations? Do you see that Christ abides in you, and provides for you, in all times?

How many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect? And do you not remember? Do you not yet understand?

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How many loaves have you?

Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat; and I do not want to send them away hungry, for they might faint on the way.” The disciples said to him, “Where are we to get enough bread in the desert to feed so great a crowd?” Jesus asked them, “How many loaves have you?” They said, “Seven, and a few small fish.” Then ordering the crowd to sit down on the ground, he took the seven loaves and the fish; and after giving thanks he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds.  (Matthew 15:32-36 NRSV)

Jesus and the disciples are in the desert with a hungry crowd. It’s natural for the disciples to expect Jesus to come up with a solution for feeding the people; he has already performed several miracles. Certainly he could come up with a plan! He does have a plan, but his plan involves the disciples. How many loaves do they have to offer? Jesus invites them to participate in the feeding of the crowd.

We are to be the Body of Christ in the world. Yet, how often do we pray that God will help our world- but we don’t offer ourselves as part of God’s solution? We pray hands-off prayers such as, “Creator God, bless all of creation.” “Merciful God, help the immigrants and refugees.” “Heavenly Father, feed the hungry, clothe the poor, bring justice and peace to our world.”  

Jesus shows us that our prayers for the world’s needs must begin with our willingness to help him. We should be asking God to inspire us to good works, to make us aware of the needs of others, to help us team with God in the care of creation, to move us to take action, donate or serve where we are needed. Then we are to DO so. 

We can begin by taking a personal inventory. What are my gifts? What resources do I have? How much time might I be able to give? Where do I feel the most passionate for change? How many loaves do I have? Then, when we pray for a concern, or we hear of a problem, we will be better prepared and ready to help. We will be ready to team with others as the Body of Christ, a team of love in the world.

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “How many loaves have you?”

What do you have to share for the betterment of the world? How might you be called to share the love of Christ with others? How will you move from a fearful stance of scarcity to a generous spirit of abundance? How is Jesus speaking to you today?

How many loaves have you?

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Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?

Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat.” He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.’ But you say that whoever tells father or mother, ‘Whatever support you might have had from me is given to God,’ then that person need not honor the father. So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word of God. You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said:

‘This people honors me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
    teaching human precepts as doctrines.’

(Matthew 15:1-9 NRSV)

Years ago, our pastor was going to be away for the weekend and I was asked to lead the Sunday worship service for him. I could recite the liturgy, write and share the sermon message, and lead the prayers- but I could not serve Communion. I was disappointed, and I could tell that the people were, too. My sermon message was about the ten lepers, so I included a comment, “In a way, this morning we can feel like the ten lepers, as we will be excluded from the Meal.”

I have yet to find where Jesus says, “Remember me when you eat this bread and drink this cup- but only if it is served by an ordained minister.” (Or in some churches, you need to have gone to confession, or have been baptized, or have become a full member of the church, or understand transubstantiation… ) Have our faith traditions become an obstacle for the love of Jesus, shown in the sharing and eating, the gathering together at the table, the remembering of his life and love? We like to say, “All are welcome.” But then the rules get in the way…

In our passage for today, Jesus scolds the Pharisees and scribes for their strict adherence to their religious rules and practices. He points out how some of these actually break the commandment of God, such as when we give offering money while our parents need help, or keep Sabbath rest when someone needs to be fed. Jesus always taught, practiced, and lived the two most important commandments of God; to love God and to love one another (Matthew 22:36-40).  

We may unquestioningly cling to certain Bible passages, faith traditions, practices and rules that actually detract from the meaning of the Word; the Word found in the Bible, in creation, in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, and in the Spirit. That meaning is LOVE. Love alone. When we lose sight of love, we “honor with our lips while our hearts are far away.”

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?”

Are there any faith traditions or practices in your church that may have become obstacles for others? Are you clinging to things (certain Bible verses, long-held traditions, preferred liturgies, rules for membership, etc.) that keep you from fully including and loving others? Would breaking a certain tradition or Bible verse make you feel uncomfortable, even if done for the sake of love? What would you be willing to surrender in order to help someone know the love of God?

Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?

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Are there not twelve hours of daylight?

Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?” Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Those who walk during the day do not stumble, because they see the light of this world. But those who walk at night stumble, because the light is not in them.” After saying this, he told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” (John 11:7-11 NRSV)

Jesus wants to go back to Judea so that he can raise his friend Lazarus from the dead. But this is where his opposition is and the disciples are rightly concerned. They caution Jesus not to go, reminding him of the dangers they had encountered before. Jesus simply asks, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight?” In spite of their fears, Jesus was telling the disciples that the time was right to go. The time was right to make a good difference for Lazarus and his family. 

My college roommate often used the expression, “You’re here for a good time, not a long time!” Of course, her wild intention was to live rather crazily, with little regard for her health or safety, partying until the very end- however soon that end might come. My other roommates and I would shake our heads and laugh with her.

But there is some wisdom in her statement.

This earthly life does seem to pass swiftly, even when we live a long time. It’s often said that the seasons and years seem to pass more quickly as we age. We are given this precious life, and we have one opportunity to live it fully and well. We ARE here for a good time, and not for a long time.

What makes our time good is in doing what is right. Loving in abundance. Celebrating the moments. Caring for others. Helping where we can. Using our gifts in service to others. Sharing generously. Stewarding the earth and its creatures. Following Jesus wherever he leads. Our time becomes a ‘good’ time when we use our limited earthly days wisely, abundantly, and gratefully.

“Are there not twelve hours of daylight?” Jesus compels us to do all the good we can, while we can. This means setting aside our fears, too. We are called to follow the light of Christ even into the darkest corners. We are called to be the light of Christ for those we then find in the darkest corners. NOW is the time to be courageous, selfless, generous, and helpful. NOW is the time to make a difference for good in this world.

My roommate was right. We are not here on this earth for a long time. Let’s make it a good time. As Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me. What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”¹

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight?”

What will you do with them? How might you make a difference for someone today? Will you be a blessing? How might you care for God’s creation, God’s people, God’s creatures? Is there something you long to do but have lacked the courage? How will the good light of Christ shine in your life today?

Are there not twelve hours of daylight?

¹(Mary Oliver, The Summer Day)

Photo by Hammad Siddiqui on Unsplash.

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5 NRSV)

(Here is another meditation that involves adjectives. 😀 )

I would call myself an organized, efficient and tidy person. I love making lists of goals and projects to check off when complete. I try to keep our papers updated and filed correctly. I rotate dishes by putting the newly clean ones on the bottom as I stack them in the cupboard. I fold our laundry a certain way, and I hang all of my slacks with the fronts facing the wall of the closet. I prefer all of our hangers to be white. Fortunately, Jim still finds me adorable, but I could easily be called fussy… particular… obsessive… exacting. 

In my effort to stay healthy, I walk every day that I can. I can become quite distraught if I don’t reach my weekly mileage goal. I eat only particular foods, drink purified water, and avoid sugar- so I often bring my own foods to the places I visit. I would consider myself disciplined and determined. Others may find me stubborn… regimented… overzealous… mulish… overcautious. (Maybe even rude!)

To judge is to evaluate someone or something. The judging that Jesus seems to be referring to is our negative and critical judging, as well as comparing others to ourselves. He tells us to refrain from critically judging others, reminding us that we could be judged much worse. Jesus tells us to first remove the log in our eye. That log could be any of those characteristics we describe with gentle grace in ourselves, but judge with harsh criticism in others.

We have a wide variety of adjectives available to describe people, situations, and our perceptions of them.  We are to choose the more grace-filled, uplifting adjectives over the harsh, critical adjectives in our thoughts and conversations. (There are times when, yes, we are called to stop or speak against wrongdoing. Can we learn to do that without including a judgment of the person?)

May we all grow in the practice of judging others with grace, mercy, gentleness, understanding, mutuality, and kindness. May we judge others in the way we would want to be judged by them.

Jesus knows that we are all beloved and broken, saints and sinners, in one way or another. And yet his love is constant. His words help us to see that none of us have any right or power to critically judge someone. His words also become our invitation to greater unity. We are all similarly connected to one another through Jesus- by our brokenness, as well as by our belovedness.

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?”

What characteristic seems to annoy you most in other people? Is there an adjective to describe it? Is there a more positive one you could use? What truths can you learn by objectively (and graciously) examining yourself for these same traits? What qualities or frailties would Jesus lovingly notice in you?

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye?

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What is your name?

As (Jesus) stepped out on land, a man of the city who had demons met him. For a long time he had worn no clothes, and he did not live in a house but in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he fell down before him and shouted at the top of his voice, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, do not torment me”— for Jesus had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. (For many times it had seized him; he was kept under guard and bound with chains and shackles, but he would break the bonds and be driven by the demon into the wilds.) Jesus then asked him, “What is your name?” He said, “Legion”; for many demons had entered him. (Luke 8:27-30 NRSV)

Isn’t it interesting that the first question Jesus asks this poor man is, “What is your name?” Certainly the man was extremely crazed, under guard and bound in chains, with a terrible mental illness often overtaking him. But, as always, Jesus knew what he was doing. Perhaps in asking the man his name, Jesus had a better sense of what particular illness this man had. In Greek, the words that Jesus asks are written as, “What to you a name is?” To this man, a fitting name was “Legion” for he had many demons within. Jesus then healed the man by removing the demons from him (in a crazy way, as you may already know)!

When I journal each day, I ask God, “What would you have me know?” But I choose adjectives or other descriptive words for God, as well as words for myself, that clarify what I am seeking or the condition of my soul each morning. These adjectives help me to name my specific needs and foster my earnest listening for the answers. One day I began, “God of my angry and anxious heart, what would you have me know today?” I then addressed myself the way I felt God saw me: “Distraught Karen…” While writing these meditations, I often used “Inspiring God” and “Seeking Karen.”

When we name our specific needs with Jesus, we more readily open ourselves to notice his help and his answers. Jesus can help or heal, inspire or infuse, motivate or madden, listen or laugh, strengthen or stretch, comfort or co-create. We can help to direct our discernment and increase our awareness of his specific work in us, when we describe the state of our souls with a fitting and descriptive name. 

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “What is your name?”

What name would you choose to describe your soul these days? Weary? Excited? Do you feel like Legion- do you have too much on your mind? Have you been called names that hurt you, that you still carry with you? Do you describe yourself with names that diminish or impede your growth? Is there a new name you would like Jesus to call you? What would you like to receive from Jesus today?

What is your name?

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Do you also wish to go away?

When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?” But Jesus, being aware that his disciples were complaining about it, said to them, “Does this offend you? Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh is useless. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.
Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him. So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:60-63, 66-69 NRSV)

Just before this passage, Jesus had distressing words for his disciples as he taught them to remember him with bread and wine. Hearing Jesus say such phrases as, “Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood will have eternal life,” the disciples could not bear to hear more. This teaching is difficult; who can accept it? Several disciples even chose to leave the group. To the rest of them, Jesus then asks, “Do you also wish to go away?”

We cannot truly comprehend the turmoil that the disciples endured in their time with Jesus… the hostile Roman authority, the accusations of religious leaders, and their increasing sense of fear and danger. The tiring days with uncertain outcomes. The sometimes puzzling and seemingly disgusting words of Jesus. No wonder Jesus gave them an opportunity to change their minds and go home! He wanted to make sure they were fully committed- as the days ahead would only become harder.

We are SO very blessed and fortunate that we have the advantage of hindsight. We know how the story turned out. We know that Jesus was resurrected, we have received his Spirit, we experience his present salvation, and we share the hope of life eternal. Our faith blesses us, and yet we know that life with Jesus will not always be easy. In fact, life with Jesus will be very difficult at times. So Jesus’ question is for us, too. 

Do you also wish to go away? Dear Peter has our answer- even before our time. “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life; we have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “Do you also wish to go away?”

Are you in this for the long haul, no matter what? Will you follow me to your own personal wildernesses- your own times of doubt, dryness and emptiness? Will you stay close to me, watching for opportunities to serve, teach, heal, share and love? Will you stay awake and pray with me at Gethsemane, as well as in your own times of agony and despair? Will you remember my suffering in your times of pain? Will you help to carry my cross, will you bear the burdens of others? Will you hear me tremble, cry out, and take my last breath as you humbly place yourself at the foot of the cross? Will you keep vigil at the tomb?  Will you keep walking the lonely road when I seem to be far away, when all seems lost? Will you patiently and hopefully wait for my resurrection in your life? Or…

Do you also wish to go away?

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Are grapes gathered from thorns or figs from thistles?

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:15-20 NRSV)

Jesus is teaching his disciples just how much outward appearances can be deceiving. He warns us to pay attention to the fruits that people produce more than the images they display. We are to be wary of those who appear to be good or holy, those we may even admire, until we see the results of their lives and the impacts they make.

One doesn’t have to look very far to find leaders who claim to be faithful but bear very bad fruit. One example that comes to my mind is a WV state senator. Out of his “biblical” fervor against LGTBQ people, he claimed in an interview that if his children turned out to be gay or lesbian he would take them out to “see if they could swim.” The interviewer asked for clarification for such an appalling statement, but he just repeated the phrase- intending that he would drop his kids into water and possibly leave them to drown if they weren’t straight…

But this Lenten season, we are turning the question back to us. When our own bad fruits begin to show, we need to recheck our vine. What currently is the main source of our nourishment and sustenance? Are we clinging to Jesus or are we looking elsewhere? When we become attached to such things as our career, our culture, our ego, our success, our past, our mistakes, or our possessions, we may produce bad fruits. Impatience. Envy. Greed. Stress. Regret. Criticism. Weariness. Anger. Selfishness. When we are strongly attached to Jesus, we will produce those lovely Fruits of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

How do we cling more firmly to Jesus? We might spend more time in prayer, less time on social media. We might forego additional hours at work in order to spend time with our family. Could we spend time at the community food bank more often, the shopping mall less often? Perhaps we could turn off the news reports and try a little contemplative silence. We might allow others to shine instead of clamoring for attention. We might ask Jesus for help in strengthening our connection with him. 

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “Are grapes gathered from thorns or figs from thistles?”

What will be your answer? Are your actions, words, and even your thoughts Christ-like? Do you resemble Jesus in your daily living? Are your fruits healthy, good and true? Have you noticed any bad fruits recently? How might you remedy this? In what areas do you need to reconnect to the healthy, pure, true source that helps us bear good fruit?

Are grapes gathered from thorns or figs from thistles?

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What are you looking for?

The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. (John 1:35-39 NRSV)

According to John’s gospel, the first two disciples (most likely John and Andrew) were initially with John the Baptist. When they hear John refer to Jesus as the Lamb of God, they are compelled to leave him and follow Jesus instead. Jesus turns to ask them, “What are you looking for?” They reply with a simple question, “Where are you staying?” We know their question is more than it seems, because they address Jesus as Rabbi. The disciples are actually seeking a rabbi, one who will be a teacher and mentor of their faith.

What are you looking for? This question can serve to be one of the most clarifying, guiding, and discerning questions Jesus asks us as we follow him. But we are wise to be mindful of the obstacles that prevent us from answering with greater clarity and certainty. We are wise to notice when:

We are not open-minded when we consider our answer. Last Saturday, my answer to “What are you looking for?” would have been, “I am looking for the portable recycling bin.” My answer seemed simple and obvious. But I didn’t know that the recycling bin was white and short, so I kept looking for a tall, green bin. I drove through town a few times before I realized my mistake. Assuming that all recycling bins looked the same hampered my search. 

We are avoiding the answer. Think of the times when a helpful salesperson asks, “Can I help you find something?” and we reply, “No thank you, I’m just browsing.” We may actually be looking for something, but we avoid the answer for several reasons. We don’t want to feel pressured. We want to keep our options open. We want to find it ourselves. We don’t want to inconvenience the clerk. We don’t want to commit to something and then regret doing so. 

We are not clarifying the purpose of the question.  A friend of mine described her first session with a counselor when she was struggling in her marriage. The wise counselor asked, “Are you here to help your marriage, or are you here to ease your guilt by ‘doing all you can’ before your marriage ends?” What are you looking for here? Clarifying the question and discerning her honest answer helped the counselor guide her future sessions.

Are you talking to ME?

Today Jesus is asking, “What are you looking for?”

As you follow Jesus, what are you looking for? How would you honestly answer him? Will you be open-minded as you reply? Will you let go of your preconceived or usual answers? Would you answer Jesus right away- or want to keep your options open? Are you afraid to fully commit? If you are unsure what you seek, will you trust him to help you find the answer? What might be the true and deeper meaning that Jesus hopes you will find in his question today?

What are you looking for?

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