Simply Soul Searching

Last week, Pastor Michael invited me to serve as the Sunday school and small group coordinator at St. John UMC. Those of you who know me can understand how much this excites and blesses me! This ministry is one of the songs of my heart; a song that inspires, motivates, and delights me. It is one I have missed since relinquishing my role after my cancer and Jim’s heart surgery two years ago. I hope to bless God and the people of St. John as much as they have blessed me.

But what profoundly blesses me about my story is how God moved the hearts of people (including me) to give me my song again.

Julie, the current Sunday school coordinator, has been capably serving in this role for over 13 years. About a month ago, she realized she was growing weary (she has recently begun serving in another ministry), and my name just came to her mind as her possible replacement. She relayed this to Pastor Michael, who affirmed her suggestion but felt a nudge to wait until January to ask me. During that month, I was happily busy with holiday festivities, posting Advent devotions on my blog, writing my book, and spending time with my family. I was unaware of the discussions or the upcoming invitation.

This past Sunday as I was journaling, a new yearning came over me. I wrote what I felt God was saying to me: “This morning you wonder how to make the most of this year- and how to make each day productive, full, and used abundantly. Your sense of urgency (that your time is limited) has waned with each healthy check up; still you know that you are also aging with each passing season. You long to know that you have made a good difference for others, and that you have lived fully, not wasting any of your precious time.”

I then shared with Jim my longing to do something more with my life. He prayed for me, asking God to help me discern and discover how best to use my time and gifts. Until that morning, I hadn’t even noticed that I was longing for more. A few hours later, Pastor Michael was asking me to serve in this ministry I love…

Since the world began, I am not certain how much God intervenes or changes the world as it is. But I do believe that God changes the hearts of everyone who allows God to do so; we then can become the change in the world. God does this by bringing healing after pain, inspiration and wisdom after trials, resurrection after losses, courage for challenges, strength for tasks, and the vision and desire to use all of these gifts to work for good. Along with all of these gifts, God offers us a song for our hearts.

What is the song of your heart? Your song is the one that brings meaning, purpose and delight to your life. God hopes you will hear it, play it, sing it, and even dance to it, because your unique song brings joy to God, to others, and to you.

~You may already have a song in your heart; is this the moment to ask God to reveal the best way for you to play it and to share it?

~You may have been burdened with other responsibilities and have had to put your song on hold; is this the moment to ask God to keep playing it softly until the time is right? (Could that time be NOW?)

~You may have had trials or sorrows that have silenced your song; is this the moment to ask God to help you find a new song- a song of healing, inspiration and deeper meaning?

~You may be blessed to already be singing your song; is this the moment to stop and simply thank God for this joy?

Our hearts may be filled with so many blessings and yet we still yearn for that one beautiful song. God is ready to reveal that song to us, the song of our God-given dreams. God will provide our song of hope, of joy, of meaning. God wants to give us the joy of having a ‘heart-song’ to sing and to share. God delights in hearing the song of our hearts, sung out with joy, and blessing all who hear it… including the one who sings.

Thanks to all of you who shared your Word for 2018. You have blessed me with them. There were so many inspiring and profound ones! May you all learn and grow through your word in 2018.

Here are some of the words that friends shared with me. (I may use some of these in the next few years!) Clarity, Listen, Peace, Hope, Patience, Humble, Discovery, Courage, Perseverance, Kind and Simple, Follow, Serve, Acceptance, Strength, Resilience, Completely…

The explanations and reasons were beautiful, too. Here are a few. Listen: “Talk less; seek to understand. Pay attention to what others say, and to what they don’t. Listen to my own instincts. Listen for signs that the universe is trying to give me.” Simple, Kind: “Kind to people, animals, nature, and stuff (reduce chemicals used to clean, etc). Simple in words, eating, and possessions (time to clear things out of the house again).” Completely: “Proverbs 3:5-6 will explain. I still struggle with this.” Thank you all for inspiring me!

My word for 2018 is Reflect. There are two definitions that resonate with me. The first is to mirror, imitate, or reveal. I hope to reflect the life and love of Jesus in my daily living. I was considering Shine, as in being a shining light of love, but the word Reflect keeps me mindful that any light of love is not of me but only a reflection of Christ’s love.

The other definition is to think, consider, wonder, or contemplate. I hope to spend more time in contemplation, prayer and writing. I plan to practice the Ignatian Daily Examen* at the end of each day, in order to learn and grow spiritually. I would like to look at nature and humanity with awe and wonder, and to be more aware of God’s wisdom shown through all of creation.

May your new year bring many good moments that bring you joy, and enough challenges to strengthen you. May you notice abundant blessings with a heart that is grateful for each one of them. May you find time for loving relationships and time for contemplative solitude. May you be open to new ideas and new adventures, while grateful for traditions and memories. Most of all, may you feel how God is ever present; loving, helping, guiding, healing you- every moment of every day.

Happy New Year!   ~Karen

*You may learn about the Examen at http://www.ignatianspirituality.com

The little girl and her younger brother were playing in their front yard as I passed by on my evening walk. My thoughts were interrupted by her young voice yelling, “There’s a WITCH!” I turned to see where this witch was- and the little girl was pointing at me! I had no choice but to turn around and give them my best witch’s cackle. Shrieking, they ran behind the house and continued to watch me from a safe distance. But even from there I could see their smiles of delight.

Have you ever been “gleefully terrified?” These are the times when you allow yourself to be totally frightened and yet fully trusting that all will be well. You are wildly scared and yet completely happy and excited. You are fully present to the moment, anticipating and watching. I recall some favorite times when my cousin, sister and I would hide from my Uncle Joe. Quietly waiting in our hiding places, we were nervous and afraid- but also joyfully giddy! We knew that when he found us, he would only catch us briefly as we would all laugh and run. The suspense was a gleeful one because we knew we were being “pursued” by someone who loved us very much.

I’ve been thinking that I would like to have more gleefully terrified moments with God. God is an awesome and infinite God, whose love is beyond my comprehension. I know that too often my prayers have asked too little; I have trusted too feebly. I know that I maintain too many boundaries and parameters when I pray for God’s will to be done. I know I have been praying too much for my limited desires and not God’s infinite ones.

I wonder how my life might change if I could dare to pray so readily and freely that I tingle in suspense! To pray so fervently to follow God’s will that I tremble. To open my heart to be so loving that I weep tears of tenderness. To surrender my life so totally that each morning I awaken in giddy uncertainty. To work toward a goal so beyond my ability that I know I will fail without God’s help. To risk my security so readily for the good of others that I become desperate for God’s provision. To ask God to use me where God needs me most- so earnestly that I have goosebumps.

If I could actually pray this way, I know I will feel terrified. But I believe I will also feel extremely gleeful.

Because I am being pursued by someone who loves me very much.

As we rapidly approach 2018, I invite you to try the practice of choosing a word for the new year! There are a variety of sites on the internet that also offer more information about this practice. For those of you who are new to my blog, you may find my original post about choosing a word in What is Your Word for 2017?

Choosing a word helps me become more mindful about how I live each day and how I plan my schedule. This past year with THRIVE as my guiding word, I became more physically fit, found roots in our new community, deepened in faith, and explored how to best thrive in my vocation. My word often helps me to discern when to accept opportunities and when to decline. The best part of choosing a word is that I begin to notice how God works through my word to teach and guide me.

There are many ways to find a word. You might begin by considering your heart’s desire- your hope for 2018. How might you like to grow or learn? What quality would you like others to see in you? What did you lack this year that you would like to increase this year? What would deepen you spiritually? What would increase your openness to God? What would bring you joy? Peace? What word would encourage reflection and awareness? What one way of living would you most like to change or enhance? Spend some time in contemplation or prayer to find the right word for you.

I usually choose my word in a verb form. Jim likes to choose a quality. It is helpful for me to look at lists of words and notice if any resonate. My word came to me about a month ago, and I will share it in January. I would love to know what word you choose!

Blessings on your journey of 2018!

WEEK FOUR: PEACE IN THE DAWN OF THE NEW DAY

The Light of the Sun

Luke 1:78-79 (NRSV)

By the tender mercy of our God,
the dawn from on high will break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace.

It is a new day. The Dawn has come. The sun has fully risen, and the Son is fully here. The dawn from on high HAS broken upon us, not because of anything we have done, but only because of the tender mercy of our God. God has loved our imperfect selves so much that God chose to become One with us, God incarnate, God in the flesh, God living among us… God in Jesus. It IS a new day.

We know the rest of the story. This tiny infant, born humbly among us, grew into a young man to teach, heal, love and serve us. In the end, he died, because we were unable to understand his ways; we were unable to comprehend his incredible love. Like the full light of the sun, we were unable to take it all in. But once again, in God’s infinite mercy and love, God redeemed us all by raising Jesus to new life.

Which brings us to one last place where the Dawn of Light will arise. Jesus has given us one more amazing gift: the gift of his Holy Spirit. The light in our souls arises and awakens us to new life in Christ! Through the Spirit, we have inner hope, love, and joy. Through the Spirit, we are guided into the way of peace. We walk with humble feet into places we are called, ready to love and serve. We walk without fear, because we know that we have a Guide for every step. Let the Dawn of Light arise and shine brightly in our hearts and souls!

God’s peace shines upon every step of our journey.