Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
SMALL ACT, SIGNIFICANT IMPACT
A few years ago, my son-in-law and I laughed about his penchant for tooth flossing, after he admitted that he likes to keep them in handy places all around the house. Shortly after our time together, I was on my morning walk when I noticed a tooth flosser on the ground, so I took a photo and sent it to him with a greeting, “Thinking of you!” That began my practice of taking a photo each time I found one of these little tools, so I could send him another teasing text message.
But soon these funny moments became eye-opening moments. I never anticipated that I would find so many discarded flossers simply by paying attention. Our little joke gradually lost its humor; it seems that people care more about their dental hygiene than they care for our earth. One might cast aside a used flosser without any consideration… What harm can this one little bit of trash do? But here, just in my small part of the world, I have already found more than fifty (not all are shown).
Small acts can lead to significant impacts.
The lesson for me today is to be aware that yes, I am an individual, but I am also an integral part of a collective whole. One small act of negligence–casting aside a piece of trash, passing by a stranger in need, purchasing a product in a plastic container, assuming others will help so I don’t need to–will be compounded by every person who does the same.
Fortunately, a small, individual act can also grow into a significant impact for a better world. One small donation to provide hurricane relief combines with other donations to help more people. One thoughtful, informed vote combines with the votes of all who desire fair and just governance. One act of care for a neighbor inspires that neighbor to do the same.
Rather than taking a photo, I should pick up these flossers and discard them properly… one small change I can make to contribute to a cleaner environment.
In what ways will our small acts contribute to the world this day? Will we act with negligence, apathy, disregard? Or will we act with compassion, responsibility, integrity? Will we cause additional harm, or will we contribute to the greater good?
May we choose well.
We are here to change the world with small acts of thoughtfulness done daily rather than with one great breakthrough. ~ Harold S. Kushner
There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher
I think it’s an aggregation of all of the small acts that are really transformative. I think a group of small acts transform the individual. And maybe when the individual transforms, collectively we transform.
~ Chris Abani
(Photos by Karen. Quotes found at https://www.azquotes.com/)
SERVING THE GREATER GOOD
I once walked to this meadow each morning to take in the beauty and at times, capture the sunrise. The meadow became my treasured sacred space that was an easily traveled distance from home. So, I was quite disappointed when plans were then made to turn the meadow into a recreational facility, yet grateful that it would serve as an outdoor gathering space.
While the park was under construction, I mostly avoided the area, but last weekend I returned…
The park is impressive but, on that morning, it was filled with lots of activity; there were baseball games and a disc golf tournament, as well as parents and children on the playground. “So much for my solitude time,” I selfishly thought. But as I continued along my route, I observed joyful smiles and laughter, competitive camaraderie, and pregame nervous anticipation. My heart softened.
And I thought, “This park is serving the greater good. Yes, the change was a significant loss for me, but now it is a lovely gift for many.”
What leads to serving the greater good?
Sometimes it is accepting our individual sacrifice for the betterment of others, such as losing “my” meadow for this recreational park.
But it can also be our collective inconvenience for the greater good of the few, such as using a portion of our taxes to help provide for those in need. Or the one individual sacrifice that helps one other person, such as taking time to rake a neighbor’s yard. Or the collective inconvenience for the collective good, such as all of us making changes to care for the earth’s environment. And finally, to serve the greater good means that we prioritize what is important in our individual lives; balancing self-preservation and self-sacrifice, discerning the issues on which we will stand firm, the privileges we will concede.
Serving the greater good is less about numbers and more about impact. When we consider what choices to make, what actions to take in order to foster this greater good, we might first ask ourselves, “What will bring about God’s greater goodness? What will bring more of the better gifts, such as joy, peace, nourishment, beauty, hope, comfort, justice?”
May we each begin there.
Let’s be about leaving this world better than we find it each and every day. Our life is a testimony and through us divine loving is becoming more manifest. Greater good is calling upon us here in this world to be done this day… let’s go out and do some good. This is who we are. This is what we are about.
~ John Morton
(Photos by Karen)
WHAT TRAGEDY IS ASKING ME
(Written after yet another school shooting)
Each morning after I awake
and greet the early dawn,
I make a cup of coffee
then turn my laptop on
and wonder if my heart will break
with news of more lives gone.
Each tragedy is asking me
to bravely choose love’s cross,
to see where God is leading
amid this grief and loss.
Give me the courage, God, to be
a servant of your cause.
So I will let a candle burn
and weep with those who weep.
I’ll yearn for God’s direction
as a vigil I will keep.
God, show me ways to grow and learn,
to find your peace so deep.
Then give me wisdom, God, to say
the words that must be said.
That I may bravely take a stand–
release my fear and dread;
reveal what I can do today
so fewer tears are shed.
Give me the faith to kindly give,
to share more than my share,
forgive the ones who hurt me,
and then God, may I dare
to live as you would have me live
with love, and grace, and care.
Give me the strength to advocate,
assist the ones long scorned,
to hate only what you would hate,
and as we rage and mourn,
to find a way to legislate
so fewer griefs are borne.
What good may come from tragedy?
What answers might be found?
Can we learn to work together
and choose to be love-bound?
Can we become the remedy
and hate-filled guns put down?
A new hope rises deep within,
the dawn will come to be.
Begin your work within our hearts,
God–show us what you see.
Bring us together; make us kin
who live in unity.
(Photo by Karen, Valley Park)
My memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer is now available in paperback. During my time with cancer, I deeply sensed God’s loving presence through my prayerful reflections and the kindness of others. I wrote this book as a gift of gratitude to God and the caring people in my life–but I pray that it may also serve as a source of peace and hope for any reader.
CELEBRATING JIM’S 30 YEARS OF MINISTRY
This morning, our two local churches–Cross of Grace Lutheran and St. Timothy’s in the Valley Episcopal–gathered together for an outdoor worship service and picnic. We also honored my husband, Jim, on his 30th Anniversary of Ordination into Ministry!
Today I am reflecting on his life of ministry and service. Years ago, his internship brought him from Little Mountain, SC, to Tiffin, OH (for this, I will always be thankful, for God was bringing him closer to me)!
Since that time, he has served as the pastor of several churches in Ohio, and more recently in West Virginia. As his wife, I have been privileged to witness him “behind the scenes”…
I have observed the prayerful reflection (and sometimes restless nights) he has put into his sermon messages. I have witnessed the helpful support he has provided for someone in need, quietly and often anonymously. More than once, I have heard him suddenly say, “this person is on my heart” and reach out with a caring call or text to check in. I have admired the friendly and humble way he has of connecting with strangers. I have seen him wrestle with his faith yet continue to trust in God’s goodness. I have marveled at his courage to take a visible stand for justice and defend the marginalized.
He has shared God’s love in our faith communities, but also with colleagues and students, coworkers and customer service folks, people in our neighborhood, our family, and me.
This 30-year milestone will move him to the “retired clergy” roster, but I know that he will continue to serve God and others, every day, in lots of ways. And I will keep learning from his example.
Thank you, Honey! You are a blessing in my life, and I thank God for you.
(Photos by Karen and friend, Angie T.)
FROM MY HEART
Dear Reader Friends,
You may already know that I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2015. I am so grateful to be thriving now, nearly ten years later!
But I am also grateful that during those difficult days, I felt God’s presence so deeply, especially in my contemplations and in the caring friendships of others. And I felt this “nudge” that I was to write a memoir about God’s love in trying times, God’s love for everyone in all times. This project has been in the works since that time. I am so pleased to finally have it published! Here is the brief summary I wrote for the back cover:
On a lovely August morning, Karen begins her daily contemplative walk with her usual question:
“God, what would you have me know today?“
When she actually hears an astonishing, audible reply, Karen wonders what these words might mean. She will soon learn that this moment marks the beginning of her unforgettable journey through challenging trials and into deepening faith.
In this memoir, Karen shares the incredible ways she sensed God’s presence in a time of illness, fear, and heartache, as well as—thanks to contemplations and companions along the way—great peace, joy, hope, and love.
Karen’s hope is that this book, originally intended to serve as a gift of gratitude and comfort for her family and friends, might also be a source of encouragement, inspiration, strength, and peace for any who are going through cancer or other trying times.
With a first-time author’s budget, I chose to self-publish the book through Amazon. I truly know that professional editors would have made my book more polished. But I have written every word from my heart, and my hope is that my words may bless those who read them.
If you would like a copy of What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer, the paperback book is available on Amazon for $15, and the Kindle version is $9.99. Thank you!
RETURN TO MEEKS MOUNTAIN
And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul. ~ John Muir
Three months after my hip replacement, I was finally able to return to our beloved Meeks Mountain! I was joyful, even giddy, to be able to hike in nature, retreat from news and noise, and reflect with God–pain free. Today I am sharing some of the beauty, with quotes that inspire me. I hope you find a small respite for your spirit here.
Don’t worry about where you are or what you have or even what you think you want. Take one step at a time and worry only about only this – who you are – who you really are. Find what you love, love what makes you happy – try giving instead of getting, try caring instead of hating. Remove the mindless distractions from your life and focus on the things and people that matter the most to you. Follow your heart to discover what makes you happy, never let go of it, never devalue anything that is beautiful, and build a life that lets you be yourself. ~ Benjamin F Sullivan
Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher. ~ William Wordsworth
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~ Lao Tzu
Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature–the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter. ~ Rachel Carson
Come to the woods for here is rest. ~ John Muir
In the middle of it all, pause and look around you. Appreciate what’s beautiful. Take in the love. Nod to what’s good and true. And then move forward one step at a time. ~ Kathy Freston
A walk in nature walks the soul back home. ~ Mary Davis
Allow nature’s peace to flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. ~ John Muir
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles. ~ Anne Frank
Take care and God bless you this week, my friends.
WISDOM IS A JOURNEY
Wisdom is a journey,
a passage through the years,
with lessons learned
and insights gained
through trials and toils and tears.
Wisdom is a posture,
an eagerness to see
with open mind
and open heart
each possibility.
Wisdom is a detour,
a new way we are led,
through change of heart,
a different choice,
a turning of the head.
Wisdom is a silence,
a patience to refrain
from hasty, hurtful,
hate-filled words,
maturity to gain.
Wisdom is a treasure
revealed along the way.
In listening well,
in seeking truth,
it deepens every day.
Wisdom is a partner
who shares each path we trod.
We walk in faith,
in hope, in trust…
and hold the hand of God.
(Photo by Karen, Meeks Mountain, WV)
FROM WHY TO WONDER
While Jim and I were visiting his mom, Gayle, at her assisted-living residence, we spent one afternoon enjoying the music of a local singer. He was a favorite with the residents, and for two hours, he sang a variety of gospel songs and hymns. As I listened, I observed the residents around me…
Gayle is doing very well; she is a cheerful, caring friend for many of the residents and staff. The woman next to me took my hand into her lap and held it, smiling up as if she recognized me. A blind woman sat across the room, happily singing and swaying to the music. Several people called out requests, while others sat silently. One seemed irritated. A few were weepy.
I thought about the length of our time here on earth. Why do some people live beyond their hopes and dreams, while others die before they can dream them? Why did I survive cancer while others have not? Why do some lives linger long while others are suddenly interrupted?
And then… the singer began singing, “How Great Thou Art.”
Many of the residents began singing along, and a deep reverence filled the room. Peace radiated from these folks as we sang about the greatness of God–from those who were thriving, but also from those who were lingering, struggling, or simply remembering. Unexpectedly, my tears began to flow; my extended family has often requested this beloved hymn for the funerals of our loved ones. Faith is a God-given peaceful trust that enables us to praise God even as we grieve, or hurt, or cannot understand.
When my questions overwhelm, when “why?” fills my thoughts, I am tempted to say, “When I get to heaven, I am going to ask God why…” But I am comforted to know that when we get to life eternal, we will no longer care about our questions.
Our whys will be turned into wonders.
We are already living in an eternal continuum. And when we behold this present life with less why and more wonder, we begin to trust that ordinary moments are filled with more than we can imagine… that life has been created perfectly–we only imperfectly comprehend… that life holds secrets that will one day bless us beyond our dreams…
and every Why we have today will be replaced with the Wonder of God.
“A genuine faith resolves the mystery of life by the mystery of God.” ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
Can you find out the deep things of God?
Can you find out the limit of the Almighty?
It is higher than heaven—what can you do?
Deeper than Sheol—what can you know?
Its measure is longer than the earth
and broader than the sea.
Job 11:7-9 (NRSVUE)
(Photo by Karen; Bible verses found at https://www.biblegateway.com/)
EBENEZER
We sang one of my favorite hymns during a worship service a few weeks ago, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” by Robert Robinson. I especially love the line, “Here’s my heart; O, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.” But this time, the word, “Ebenezer” caught my attention.
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I’m come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Ebenezer is a Hebrew word that means “stone of help.” In 1 Samuel 7:12, we read that Samuel took a stone and set it upright, like an altar of gratitude, and named the stone, “Ebenezer.” Samuel had done this to remind the Israelites of God’s goodness to them while they lived in a time of war and faithlessness. Years later, Robert Robinson wrote this hymn, including the phrase, “Here I raise my Ebenezer.” He had been living a troubled young life when a preacher inspired him to accept Christ. He then became a minister, and he wrote this hymn as a written altar of gratitude he could raise to God.1
With these thoughts in mind, I noticed this large rock on my walking route the other day. “That could be my Ebenezer rock,” I thought to myself. I have not had a conversion experience like Robinson, but God has certainly been with me, loving and helping me through every moment. I picked up the rock to “raise my Ebenezer” and found it quite heavy!
And here is what came to me…
I have most readily felt God’s presence and help through my greatest grief, during my most difficult challenges, for my heaviest guilt, and in my deepest wounds. So, my Ebenezer rock is appropriately heavy, representing these burdens of my past, burdens I could only bear with the help of God. And in setting the rock down as an altar of gratitude and remembrance, the weight of these burdens was again relieved, physically and symbolically. I walked on, aware and now unencumbered, relieved and now grateful.
Here I raise my Ebenezer. Thank you, God. I remember.
Here’s my heart; O take and seal it;
seal it for thy courts above.
1Information summarized from https://www.biblestudytools.com.
Lyrics found at https://hymnary.org/text/come_thou_fount_of_every_blessing
Photo by Karen
I AM RIGHT HERE WITH YOU
My dear Uncle Ken worked as a custodian at the high school I attended years ago. I was fortunate to have him there with me, as a friend, mentor–and guardian.
One day, a few of us students were in the gymnasium, hanging “spirit banners” high on the walls to encourage our basketball team. With a rolled-up banner and masking tape in hand, I climbed the industrial-sized ladder to hang my first one. All went smoothly until I turned to come back down–and realized just how far I could fall. The view is much different looking down from the top!
I froze in place, terrified.
And just that quickly, my uncle was up the ladder, standing beside me. “I’m right here with you,” he quietly assured me. We then backed down each step together, his presence on the step beneath me, his arms on the rails beside me, surrounding me as a protective shield against a possible mishap. I may have been embarrassed, but I was no longer afraid.
As I remember this incident, I see how my uncle demonstrated God’s loving care and presence that day. Uncle Ken didn’t question my judgment, asking “What were you thinking?” or “Did you not consider how high you would get?” He didn’t stand at the bottom and scold, “You got yourself up there, now get yourself down.” He didn’t shame me by saying, “Don’t be such a coward.” He didn’t discount my fear with statements like, “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” or “You’re not even up that high.”
He just accompanied me on the way down.
So it is with God. I am certain there will be other times when my exuberance or impulsiveness will win over wisdom and discernment. I will eagerly pursue a new invitation or challenge, thinking I am more capable, available, or prepared than I really am. And God will go with me, knowing the ways I will eventually falter, fear, or fail. If I wander too far into unknown territory, climb too high in pursuit of a dream, reach too far in eagerness to help, or take on burdens I can no longer carry, I may then find myself humiliated, frustrated, disappointed, or grieved.
But I will also find God ready for my very next step, surrounding and assuring me in Infinite Love, “I’m right here with you.”
(Photo by Karen, Peak, SC)
Simply Soul Searching 