Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
2. AN ADVENT AMONG OTHER THINGS: HOPE AMID UNCERTAINTY
Monday, December 2nd
I often wonder—sometimes worry—what the future might bring. There is an ever-present, underlying uncertainty to life, isn’t there? No one knows what tomorrow will hold for us. We may enjoy good fortune or learn upsetting news… achieve a goal or face another obstacle… celebrate a win or mourn a loss… savor good health or struggle to survive. Life is filled with surprises, detours, victories, and devastations. I sometimes wish that every day could be regulated, every plan could be achieved, every dream could come true–or at least to know what the future holds so I can be better prepared to face it.
So, I was intrigued when I recently found this quote:
“Uncertainty is the refuge of hope.” ~ Henri Frederic Amiel
Amiel’s words are wise and comforting. Yes, we may hope on one day and be disappointed the next, but who knows what the third day might bring? Every uncertainty is a possibility for change. Every unknown tomorrow holds promise and potential. Our uncertainty can serve as an invitation to fill our present moments with goodness, to share this hope and encourage one another, and to ask God for insight and guidance… so that we might bring about a better and brighter tomorrow.
Our soul waits for the Lord;
he is our help and shield.
Our heart is glad in him
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
even as we hope in you.
Psalm 33:20-22 (NRSVUE)
As we wait and walk through every uncertainty, we can cling to the hope we have in Christ, our loving God who is with us always… the One who gives the hope of new mornings, second chances, fresh beginnings, daily resurrections, and eternal perspectives… the One who is our refuge for every trouble.
We may not know what is “just around the bend,” but Hope is lighting our way.
(Photo by Karen, near Meeks Mountain, Hurricane WV)
1. AN ADVENT AMONG OTHER THINGS: HOPE IN CHRIST
Sunday, December 1st
(You may appreciate having a small practice to serve as a daily reminder in this Advent time. As we reflect on our hope in Christ this week, I plan to light a candle and remember Jesus as our light of hope.)
As we begin this Advent week of Hope, what does it mean for us to first find our hope in Christ? How does Jesus—through his life and love—give us our reason for hope?
My thoughts immediately turn to his resurrection, of course, and the hope that comes in knowing that God’s love defeats even death. But I also find hope in the way Jesus lived his life. Even with the threats, scorn, sorrows, and hardships that he faced, he continued to trust in God’s infinite love. Jesus even assured his followers not to worry. “Look at the birds of the air… Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?” * He not only heard the needs of others and helped and healed them, but he also promised that his helping and healing presence would be with us yet today.
In all of life, Jesus saw beyond what was; he understood his circumstances with a deeper peace and wisdom. He recognized there was something more to this ordinary and often difficult life, and he lived in this eternal hope.
And my greatest reason for this hope in Christ comes from those inexplicable moments when I sense surprising hope overwhelming me, an abiding hope that comes from beyond myself.
Let’s carry these hope-filled words with us this week:
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it… And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. *
God, the Creator of the infinite universe… God, the One who is timeless… God, the ever-present Source of Love… God, the Reason for our Hope, is dwelling here with us now, shining with an eternal hope to light our way.
* Bible verses are Matthew 6:26-27 and John 1:5,14 NRSVUE
Photo by Karen
AN ADVENT AMONG OTHER THINGS: INTRODUCTION
As I began to prepare my Advent reflections for this year, it was difficult to find an inspirational theme. I struggled to write anything of significance amid election outcomes and personal heartaches, along with life’s regular responsibilities and unexpected interruptions. I prayerfully questioned how I could write about the gifts of the season—the hope, peace, joy, and love of God shown in Christ—among all these other things; among the turmoil, trials, and tasks that often surround and overwhelm us.
My thoughts turned to Jesus, who was born into ordinary human life and shared the human experiences and emotions of every generation. Each Advent season, as we prepare to celebrate his birth, we also celebrate his presence already with us. Jesus has always been, has already come, and continues to dwell within and among us. He has come to dwell with us among all these other things.
And suddenly I had my theme for this season: An Advent Among Other Things.
God is here with us in all of life, its joys and sorrows, its happiness and heartaches. All four gifts of Advent are treasures especially because of the hardships. We need hope because life holds disappointments and frustrations. We need peace because our souls are not always well. We need joy because we have times of worry and sorrow. We need love because life together can be challenging.
An Advent Among Other Things will be an opportunity to notice the gifts of God in Christ—among, along, as, with, because, for (and so on)—the rest of our daily feelings and experiences. It is my hope that we may be filled with these gifts and come away more refreshed, reassured, and inspired to love and serve one another in these days ahead.
Reflections will be posted on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of each week in December (they will actually be published in the evening prior to each day).
Thank you for reading—may you be blessed this season!
(Photo by Karen, outside of Atlanta, GA)
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME KNOW? (GRATITUDE AT THANKSGIVING)
(This is my last excerpt from my recently published memoir of my time with ovarian cancer in 2015. The words in italics are from my journal entries. This excerpt was written just before Thanksgiving, when I had completed the most difficult of my chemotherapy treatments.)
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Grandpa Bob often said, “If you are always grateful, you will have a happy life.” His words are true. During this time, I discovered that even in our trials there would be blessings to find; I just needed to notice them. I made a gratitude list on Thanksgiving Day.
Generous God, I thank you. Thank you for this new hope I have for a wonderful future with Jim and our family. Thank you for bringing all of us—Jim, Kevin, Leila, Angie, Jennie, and our families and friends—through our struggles and to this day. Thank you that we CAN celebrate and be so very grateful for life. Help me to never forget what a treasure each day is. You are an amazing God.
This Thanksgiving I am especially grateful for these blessings… (I list a number of them in the book). Thank you for all other gifts that have not yet come to mind. Keep me aware of your presence; let me not become so busy and scheduled that I don’t listen or watch for you. Guide me through this day. Let me be a source of love and kindness.
I love you, God. We have come so far. Today I rejoice!
Grateful Karen,
Your heartfelt gratitude blesses me, but it blesses you, too. When you take time to notice and acknowledge the blessings I shower on you, your heart is uplifted. Your countenance is more cheerful. Your life is more deeply rich and full.
Live in gratitude, for life itself is the most precious gift of all. That you even exist is a gift from me. You are alive. You have a feeling soul and a thinking mind.
The lessons of this worldly life are abundant treasures, too.
Yes, you have faced some very trying times, but I was always with you. I gave you strength and courage. I helped you endure each hour of the day until you could rest again in sleep. I gave you family and friends to help, and Jim’s help, despite his heart surgery and stroke. I have heard the many prayers of concerned friends and strangers. I have helped you become aware of many gifts along the way.
And now, I have restored your health. Enjoy these holidays, savor each moment and each person, and know that I am still present, always.
~~~~~
Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends.
Photo by Karen
My memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer is available in paperback or Kindle. During my time with cancer, I deeply sensed God’s loving presence through my prayerful reflections and the kindness of others. I wrote this book as a gift of gratitude to God and the caring people in my life–but I pray that it may also serve as a source of peace and hope for any reader.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME KNOW? (HERE AND NOW)
(Throughout this month, I am sharing a few excerpts from my recently published memoir of my time with ovarian cancer in 2015. The words in italics are from my journal entries.)
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When we do those things that Jesus tells us to do—forgive, repent, love, share—we are living the kingdom now. We are seeing a glimpse of heaven; we are experiencing the joy and delight of the kingdom in the present moment. These kingdom-living moments are heaven for us, here and now.
The more we pursue the ways of Jesus and desire to follow him, the godlier we will become. Maybe we should strive to be living the kingdom way as much as we are able. Then, at our earthly life’s end, the transition to the heavenly realm will be a small one.
The beauty of God’s loving presence is here, no matter how far our field of vision extends. God’s presence is within us. God’s presence is in our souls and in the fragile shells that encompass our souls. God’s presence is surrounding us in the fog, cushioning us in the grass, shining upon us from the sky, accompanying us with every stream, meadow, tree. God is in the people who are on this journey with us. God is in this very moment. God then stretches to infinity beyond it all.
And so will we.
As curious as we may be, we no longer need to search beyond our vision for the kingdom of God. We only need to feel what is already deep within us, to see what is right before us, to love what is all around us, with a heart ready to notice how God’s loving presence is present. Perhaps if we increasingly notice and participate in kingdom living—here and now—then, when it is our time to leave this earthly realm, we will simply turn our heads and smile in recognition.
Photo by Karen, Bar Harbor ME
My memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer is available in paperback or Kindle. During my time with cancer, I deeply sensed God’s loving presence through my prayerful reflections and the kindness of others. I wrote this book as a gift of gratitude to God and the caring people in my life–but I pray that it may also serve as a source of peace and hope for any reader.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME KNOW? (STANDING STRONG)
(Each week in November, I am sharing a few excerpts from my recently published memoir of my time with ovarian cancer in 2015. The words in italics are from my journal entries. Here is one I wrote shortly after my treatment plan was in place. I hope this excerpt blesses you this week!)
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With a treatment plan now in place, my own personal plan was to live with joy. I would let Dr. Phibbs and Whitney do the monitoring of the cancer; I would solely focus on my healthy lifestyle, my spiritual well-being, and my relationships. I would stand firm while the medical staff fought the battle. I found the perfect Bible verses for my goal, a passage our youth group had chosen for an earlier mission trip: “Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13b-14 NIV).
I am in a good place this morning. I had a restful night, and I feel ready to face this battle. I KNOW the next six months will be very difficult, painful, and stressful. But others have endured all of this and have since returned to wellness and wholeness. I may be surprised by how much better I will feel.
I don’t care for the analogy of “battle” in this journey to wellness. It’s not me; I am not a fighter. I will consider this cancer to be an unwelcome guest, a guest I will soon escort out of my body with the help of medicine and Dr. Phibbs. How many battles can we win if we are forthright and determined, simply denying the enemy any chance to hurt us? Stand firm… stand strong… face the enemy and turn it away. Let it know it doesn’t have a chance with me.
The medicine will do the battling.
I will do the strong standing.
All we have is this day. Any of us. That’s why Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow. He will give us strength for each day, like manna. We are to enjoy this day, live it well. Savor and know that this day is a gift from God.
I will stand strong, here and now.
Photo by Karen, Schedel Gardens, Elmore OH
My memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer is available in paperback or Kindle. During my time with cancer, I deeply sensed God’s loving presence through my prayerful reflections and the kindness of others. I wrote this book as a gift of gratitude to God and the caring people in my life–but I pray that it may also serve as a source of peace and hope for any reader.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME KNOW? (PRAYERS IN THE DARKNESS)
(This month, as I focus on writing reflections for the Advent season, I will share a few excerpts from my recently published memoir of my time with ovarian cancer in 2015.)
This is a prayerful journal reflection, written on Holy Saturday–the day before Easter–shortly after my diagnosis…
(Holy Saturday – April 4th)
I am anxious and a little (a lot) fearful today. The thought of a possible hysterectomy brings a few concerns. With our upcoming family graduations, I worry about the timing of any procedures. I wonder if this will affect my walking routine. I wonder how my body will feel if organs are removed. The mind travels swiftly to unknown places.
And, in my darkest fleeting moments, I think about more serious issues. I wonder how much life I have left to enjoy, how many moments with Jim and my precious family, how many Christmas celebrations, how many writing opportunities. No one has any guarantees, but times like these show us how fragile we are.
Lying awake in the darkness last night, I thought of Jesus in the deep darkness of the tomb on this Holy Saturday. This day has new significance for me. Right now, I am in the place of dark unknowing, as I await answers and healing. How will this darkness—this liminal space—transform me? Thank you, Jesus, for showing us how wonderfully this does happen, how you were transformed from death to resurrected life. I trust that God still has much for me to do… to learn… to be.
Creator God, found in Jesus in the darkness of the tomb,
I am afraid of the unknown, of what may lie ahead. But I know you love me, and you love my dear family. Help me to cast away my fear and to lean on you. You know this darkness (a thousand times more than I do), for you have experienced the tomb.
Thank you for understanding my anxiety; thank you for forgiving my fear and doubt; thank you for your promise to heal me. Keep me centered in you. Please hold Jim and our family in your loving care in these days ahead. Thank you for the ways you have been teaching and transforming me throughout this life. Continue your work in me. The liminal space has begun—that time between death and resurrection, change and healing.
I wait in the darkness, with you by my side, for tomorrow there will be a resurrection!
(Photo by Karen)
My memoir, What Would You Have Me Know? Contemplation and Companionship in a Time of Cancer is available in paperback or Kindle. During my time with cancer, I deeply sensed God’s loving presence through my prayerful reflections and the kindness of others. I wrote this book as a gift of gratitude to God and the caring people in my life–but I pray that it may also serve as a source of peace and hope for any reader.
FINDING TRANQUILITY
Tranquility: free from agitation of mind or spirit; free from disturbance or turmoil; unvarying in aspect; steady, stable.
My soul has been in disarray in these recent weeks. The upcoming election in our country is testing my spirit, bringing out the worst in me at times. I have also been concerned and grieved for loved ones, dear family and friends who are going through trials. Then I have struggled to write anything of substance, aside from political thoughts on my personal Facebook page (are you relieved that I am not posting those here?). 😉
And so, in this morning’s journal reflection with God, I expressed my longing to write words of comfort and encouragement, asking God what I should know for such a time as this. I sensed a simple reply: Think about what you would want to hear from me and write about that.
These thoughts came to my soul…
Look around at the beauty of creation. As you are delighted by the radiant colors of autumn, inspired by the mystery of each season, and comforted by the rhythms of each yearly cycle, you can trust that I am still present. Pay attention. I am here with you. Keep your focus on me more than your troubles.
Life is continuing, changing, evolving–not without its trials and struggles–but always offering growth, insight, and deepening trust. Open your heart to let me work in you–revealing, teaching, guiding, assisting. Open your heart to let me work through you–writing, serving, loving, sharing.
Let John Ortberg’s words, “Life is not about avoiding pain but the pursuit of God,” remind you that the pursuit of me is the most important purpose of your life. Keeping that goal in mind, you can endure and persevere. Find your peace in the pursuit itself. Do what you can to make a good difference today and entrust the rest to me.
In Jesus I have promised that there is always a resurrection. Cling to that.
This journey is like climbing a mountain. The higher you climb, the more difficult it becomes; you grow weary, out of breath, and the elements seem to be against you. But each step brings you closer to the mountaintop, to the beautiful vista, to the reason for your climb. Link arms with your comrades, take time to breathe, seek my guidance, notice the goodness, and journey on.
The dawning of a new day is coming.
Definition from Merriam Webster
John Ortberg quote is from his podcast episode, “Your Life is NOT About Avoiding Pain” (October 22).
Photo by Karen, Valley Park, Hurricane, WV
A PEACEFUL PAUSE FOR THE DAY
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
John Burroughs
My time hiking on Meeks Mountain last week refreshed my soul, and today I offer you a bit of that beauty. I hope this serves as a peaceful pause for your day. May you walk in peace and share your peace with others this week!
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2
Leave the road, take the trails.
Pythagoras
When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad.
For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.
John Lennon
O come, let us worship and bow down;
let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
Psalm 95:6
We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.
Albert Einstein
The seasons change and you change, but the Lord abides evermore the same,
and the streams of His love are as deep, as broad and as full as ever.
Charles Spurgeon
(Quotes found from a variety of sources; photos by Karen)
IDENTIFYING TRAITS
Have I mentioned I LOVE my new hip? 😉
While out walking last week, I saw two neighborhood friends coming my way from down the road. I was puzzled when they began to laugh in my direction–until they were close enough to explain. They initially thought that I was Connie, another walking friend who covers her miles quite swiftly and smoothly. From a distance, these two didn’t recognize me without my limp. I am happy to no longer have that limp as one of my identifying traits!
But soon I was pondering… What do I want my identifying traits to be? How do I want to be recognized or remembered?
Reviewing the last week or so, I could be seen as the one who smiles and waves at everyone on her daily walks. The one who loves hiking in the woods. The one who longs to share God’s love through her writing. The one who sends postcards to encourage people to vote. The one who wants to help others. The one who speaks softly and kindly.
But I could also be seen as the one who becomes defensive and makes excuses for her mistakes. The one who holds disdain for certain political candidates. The one who writes about living with love, peace, and joy, but can also be irritable, anxious, or selfish. The one who refrains from speaking up for others. The one who worries in the darkness.
I still walk through life with a limp of sorts.
Then I think of Jacob, who ends up with a blessing–but also a limp–after wrestling with an angel (Genesis 32). In my own spiritual wrestling, God often reveals the ways I am limping along in this life of faith, and like Jacob, I too can seek the blessing in the struggle:
With every limp that is revealed
I learn to lean on you,
so others see that yes, I’m loved
though I am broken, too.
With every faltering step I take
I need to hold your hand,
and when my progress feels quite slow
your presence helps me stand.
When my gait becomes unsteady
I seek your steadfast strength
to keep me on your loving path
no matter what its length.
And as I stumble on in life
I trust you’ll guide my way.
Show me the steps that I should take
to love and serve each day.
I hope that when my journey ends
my true identity
will be as one who walked with you
and loved (imperfectly).
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35)
(Photo taken by Jim. Thank you, Honey!)
Simply Soul Searching 