Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
9. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: PRAY
Tuesday, March 5th
Read John 11:38-44 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
As Jesus stands before the tomb with his grieving friends, he begins to pray “for the sake of the crowd” that God would honor his evidently earlier prayer that Lazarus be returned to life. “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I knew that you always hear me…” Jesus trusts that God hears his prayers, and with that trust, he tells Lazarus to come out from the tomb. Imagine the joy for everyone gathered there when Lazarus appears!
to be the best version of myself…
As I consider this prayer of Jesus, “Father, I thank you for having heard me,” I notice that Jesus expresses his gratitude that God has heard his prayer–while he doesn’t specifically include “for raising our friend to life.” I then recall how Jesus endured many disappointments, failures, and sorrows in his life. And yet, he trusted that God had heard each prayer, even in such times as when he “could do no deed of power” in his own hometown (Mark 6:4-5), when his cousin, John was killed (Matthew 14:8-12), or in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he prayed, “remove this cup from me” (Luke 22:42).
Perhaps this is the essential point of prayer–that we are heard, we are understood, and we are companioned through all of life by God, who is Infinite Love. In the times of my life when difficulty could not be avoided, when grief was inescapable, when worry was ever present, I found great peace in my desperate prayers of surrender, “Whatever happens, God, I will be okay if you are with me.” I was comforted to know that I would not face these hardships alone; I would be held by the One who loves beyond my comprehension.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
You are eternal,
ever-present,
around and within.
You hear every prayer,
spoken or silent,
or even unknown to me.
You are ready and waiting,
anticipating,
eager to help or to hold.
May I take your comfort and peace
to share with others;
to attentively listen,
to compassionately understand,
and to lovingly companion
along this journey of life.
Our reading for Thursday (7th) will be Mark 12:41-44.
Photo by Karen; the light of love shines through.
~~~~~
John 11:38-44 (NRSVUE)
Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
8. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: OBSERVE
Sunday, March 3rd
Read Matthew 13:31-32, Matthew 24:32, Luke 12:27 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
The stories of the life and teachings of Jesus often include his observations of the lessons revealed through God’s creation. He keenly perceives how God’s purposes and wisdom are present in our natural surroundings, made visible and understandable for us all. Most of Jesus’ earthly journey seems to be spent outdoors–walking along paths, teaching from hilltops, praying on mountainsides, resting with disciples on the sea. The earth becomes his sanctuary, too.
to be the best version of myself…
I love to spend time outdoors–daily walks in the neighborhood, hikes with Jim through forests, strolls along seashores, restful times on our porch. Graces abound in those times… My hope rises with each sprouting crocus and daffodil. My joy refreshes as the birds sing from treetops or squabble at the feeder. My faith strengthens when leaves quietly surrender to the soil. My peace settles in as snow gently covers the earth. My reverence and wonder increase with every mountain view or starlit sky.
All of creation reveals God’s creativity, wisdom, and generosity, and as Franciscan Priest and Author Richard Rohr writes:
Once we know that the entire physical world around us, all of creation, is both the hiding place and the revelation place of God, this world becomes home, safe, enchanted, offering grace to any who look deeply.1
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
You have given me a heart for your beautiful creation. Please guide me to observe the insights you offer through nature’s diversity, interdependence, rhythm, and beauty. May my life reflect the simplicity, trust, and generosity that nature exemplifies. Keep me mindful of the ways I can better tend this earth, love our humanity, renew the environment, and live in harmony with your creation. For this world IS your sacred home; we find your presence and power everywhere. Thank you.
Our reading for Tuesday (5th) will be John 11:38-44.
1Rohr, Richard. The Universal Christ: How A Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, And Believe. Convergent Books. 2019.
Photo by Karen; I find it depicts the innocent generosity of nature as the milkweed begins to scatter its seeds.
All Bible verses are NRSVUE translation.
~~~~~
Matthew 13:31-32
He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”
Matthew 24:32
From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near.
Luke 12:27
Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.
7. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: EXCHANGE
Thursday, February 29th
Read Matthew 11:28-30 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
This tender passage of encouragement and comfort is one of my favorites. Jesus invites us to come to him, take on his yoke (his teachings, ways), and find rest for our souls. It is interesting that this invitation comes right after Jesus “began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power had been done, because they did not repent” (verse 20). That he follows up with such gentle words seems to indicate that he is scolding the people out of pity more than anger. I sense his frustration rises because they are missing the gifts of freedom and joy found in repentance–the easier yoke, the lighter burden he offers.
to be the best version of myself…
Because he has walked among us, Jesus knows that we are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and he wants to help. Today I am thinking about the burdens I carry that ought to be relieved by repentance; judgmental burdens such as resentment, criticism, or bitterness (especially in political and social issues). But I am also invited to repent of other unnecessary and detrimental burdens, such as guilt, fear, and shame.
Jesus says, “Come to me.” We are invited to exchange our burdens for his yoke. I can exchange my self-righteousness for his humility, my critical spirit for his compassion, my anxious thoughts for his peace, my shame for his forgiveness. He will take the burdens that feel so cumbersome and replace them with his yoke of love and care for all of us.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
As I take the yoke of Jesus, help me to repent and surrender all that I do not need, all that is not pleasing to you nor good for me. When I am inwardly absorbed with disappointment, stress, or worry, I know that my negative words, attitudes, and criticisms can often be outwardly directed. Help me to give my burdens to you–instead of foisting them onto others. As I take on your yoke of freedom and love, and accept your compassionate understanding and forgiveness for myself, may I then extend that same grace–your grace–to others.
Our readings for Sunday will be Matthew 13:31-32 and 24:32, Luke 12:27.
(Photo by Karen, Valley Park resting place.)
~~~~~
Matthew 11:28-30 (NRSVUE)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
6. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: TAKE
Thursday, February 29th
Read Matthew 16:24-26 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
After Jesus warns his disciples of his future suffering, trials, death, and resurrection (to which Peter begins to rebuke him), he calls to the crowd gathered with them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” He then assures the people that those who lose their lives for his sake will actually save them.
to be the best version of myself…
I recently learned a helpful new insight about Jesus’ invitation to take up our crosses. Alexander John Shaia of Quadratos (his link is offered below) tells us that the cross Jesus is referring to is not the cross of crucifixion. In Jesus’ time, another cross was known to symbolize vitality, authenticity, and wholeness. Alexander John explains that this is the cross Jesus tells us to pick up–a symbol of our journey to completion as we follow and serve him.
So, when Jesus calls me to follow his ways and teachings, he tells me to bring the cross of my authentic self–to be graciously accepted as is, then tenderly perfected on this journey into deeper faith and love. Yes, there will be trials and sorrows as I follow along; times when I–like Peter–will question why life must be this way. I will be asked to pick up what Jesus tells us to carry, the burdens found in love and humble service. But this cross will be one of vitality and authenticity, not the cross of death. I will not be losing life but finding life, life in all its fullness.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
Thank you that Jesus calls us to follow him into loving service but also abundant life. Help me to bring my whole self–my full vitality and authenticity–and to pick up any burdens that will bless you and serve others. I thank you for your constant presence on this journey and ask you to guide and teach me well.
Our reading for Thursday (29th) will be Matthew 11:28-30.
Photo by Karen, Kennebunkport, ME. This inspires me to leave the sanctuary of safety to face the bright reality of daily living in Christ.
~~~~~
Matthew 16:24-26 (NRSVUE)
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any wish to come after me, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?
5. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: PLACE
Sunday, February 25th
Read Matthew 15:29-31 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
During Jesus’ ministry on earth, he quickly became known for his healing powers. As this passage describes, great crowds began to follow him, bringing with them all who needed his healing touch.
to be the best version of myself…
As I follow Jesus this Lenten season, I hope to be open for healing in the ways God finds a need in me.
And along with sanctifying healing, I yearn to have my hip healed. The pain has worsened, so I can no longer hike or walk as much as I love to do. Scans have revealed severe degenerative arthritis, so I was actually relieved to learn that I need hip replacement surgery. Then I was informed that the first opening to see the orthopedic surgeon–even for my consultation–is not until the end of April. I have requested to be scheduled if there is a cancelation before then, but this waiting time is difficult.
I considered making a calendar to count down each day until the appointment. But my word for the year, Cherish, inspires me to treasure this life, not just get through another day to check it off. My word is an ongoing invitation to live each moment well, to embrace what is present before me, and to not wish my days away.
Today’s passage comforts me in this waiting time. The lame, the blind, the maimed, the mute, and many others were placed at Jesus’ feet for healing. Since there were so many, they too, must have waited for their turn with Jesus. These months can be an opportunity to mindfully place myself there with them. This time could become a sacred space to quietly listen to his teachings, anticipate my future relief, and patiently wait until the time is right and all is ready. Perhaps I might deepen in faith, trust, and wisdom through my discomfort and impatience.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
The whole world needs your healing, so when I place myself and my concerns at Jesus’ feet, grant me patience and insight. While I wait, help me to keep trusting you, loving and serving you and others as I am able. Whether for the healing of my hip or the healing for the world, may I take every step that I can, sit at the feet of Jesus when I cannot, and abide in your compassionate presence while I wait.
Our passage for Tuesday (27th) is Matthew 16:24-26.
(Photo by Jim as I was hiking along Jordan Pond last summer.)
~~~~~
Matthew 15:29-31 (NRSVUE)
After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the maimed, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
4. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: PAUSE
Thursday, February 22nd
Read John 8:2-11 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
The Pharisees bring a woman who had been caught in adultery to Jesus, asking what he has to say about her punishment according to the law. Before he responds, Jesus stops to write on the ground. He then does this again after saying, “Let anyone… who is without sin be the first to throw a stone…” Each time he pauses, he seems to be allowing space–first to consider his words, and then to see how the Pharisees react. One might expect Jesus to harshly judge the woman for breaking the law and the Pharisees for trying to disgrace and perhaps even kill her. Instead, he responds with compassion, mercy, and justice for everyone. His silent pauses may have been times in which he sought God’s guidance for his next step.
to be the best version of myself…
There are a variety of spiritual disciplines that can help us deepen in faith and love, practice humility and obedience, and be mindful of the sacrificial life of Jesus. This passage prompts me to consider the simple act of pausing throughout the day as a transforming discipline. As I seek to “become the best version of myself for the world”, I could include more pauses within my day to mindfully seek and allow God’s guiding presence. Even when my day is busy, I can find in-between moments for prayer, silence, distance, space, or breath; moments to pause and let God guide my intentions, temper my reactions, illumine my shortcomings, and reveal God’s goodness to me.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
Help me to pause throughout my day…
to weigh and consider my best response,
to refrain from reacting or judging,
to notice the needs of others,
to give you space to guide and inspire,
to observe your presence and work in my life,
and always to pray and praise you.
Our reading for Sunday (25th) is Matthew 15:29-31.
(Photo by Karen. This photo of a cairn inspires me to take my stones of judgment and place them as an altar of blessing.)
~~~~~
(John 8:2-11 NRSVUE)
Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and, making her stand before all of them, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”
3. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: WANT
Tuesday, February 20th
Read Mark 10:46-52 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
Of all the healing stories, I especially love the ones in which Jesus restores sight to a blind person. The idea of seeing lends itself to contemplative “seeing” and our longing to discern what God may be revealing to us. In this story, Jesus notices Bartimaeus, stops amid the crowd, and has the blind man come to him. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asks. Bartimaeus asks Jesus to let him see again, and he immediately regains his sight.
to be the best version of myself…
When I envision Jesus asking me, “What do you want?” my initial reaction is to respond, “I want to do your will.” But today I realize that my response is vague, generic, and in a way, safe. Yes, “to do your will” does help open myself to God’s guidance; Jesus has instructed us to pray, “Your will be done.” But in this Lenten time of reflection, “What do you want?” can be an invitation to more fully consider the deepest desires of my heart–all gifts from God–and to discern how these might align with what God wants, for me and for the world. The question invites me to be more courageous in doing the will of God, instead of merely trying to avoid sin.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
What would YOU want me to see? Please open my eyes and heart; reveal where your will and my hopes, desires, and even frustrations can come together in loving service. Show me the ways that my wants align with yours, the ways we might team together to make good differences in the world. Guide me to truly see. I want to live and serve in new ways–if these ways are your ways, too.
Our reading for Thursday (the 22nd) is John 8:2-11.
(Photo by Karen, searching the heavens.)
~~~~~
(Mark 10:46-52 NRSVUE)
They came to Jericho. As he and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stood still and said, “Call him here.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart; get up, he is calling you.” So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said to him, “My teacher, let me see again.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way.
2. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: TRUST
Sunday, February 18th
Read Matthew 6:25-34 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
This beautiful passage is part of the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus teaches the people–and us–a new way of living, being, and understanding: his way of Love. Following this way of Love will not lead us to earthly riches, power, or ease, and will be challenging or difficult at times. Yet, Jesus assures us that we need not worry. What makes his assurance especially genuine is that Jesus isn’t speaking from a comfortable place of safety and security. Facing a life of hardship, pain, ridicule, suffering, and death, Jesus still trusts in God’s good care and compassion; he trusts in every present and eternal gift of God’s kingdom.
to be the best version of myself…
When I began contemplating this passage, I turned to one of my favorite authors and read…
Faith for Jesus is the opposite of anxiety. If you are anxious, if you are trying to control everything, if you are worried about many things… you do not trust that God is on your side. The giveaway is control… God is more for you than you are for yourself. And all you can do is be open.1
There it was… One of my hopes for Lent is to withdraw from my desire to control outcomes. I immediately sensed that I had been guided to reread these words, “if you are trying to control everything… you do not trust that God is on your side.” When I have trouble trusting in God’s Infinite Love, I know I am basing my fears, or judging my circumstances, from my limited human perspective.
God is more for you than you are for yourself.
This is an incredible assurance! When I cling to such timely and reassuring words as these, I can find peace, hope, patience, and joy. God is for me. Always.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
Deepen my trust in your perfect love this Lenten season, that I may be free from the worry that hinders my generosity, fosters my insecurity, and keeps me from living fully in joy and love. Guide me to say or do each next right thing and leave the outcome in your care. When my words or actions are shunned, ridiculed, ineffective, or futile, help me to keep following Jesus; to serve without reward, share without return, and live without fear.
For you are with me and for me. Always.
Our reading for Tuesday, the 20th is Mark 10:46-52.
1Rohr, Richard and Feister, John. Jesus’ Plan for a New World: The Sermon on the Mount. St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1996.
Photo by Karen, sunrise on a quiet path.
~~~~~
(Matthew 6:25-34, NRSVUE)
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the gentiles who seek all these things, and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
1. THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF: EMPTY
ASH WEDNESDAY
Wednesday, February 14th
(These Lenten reflections are inspired by a quote from Joshua Long on an Artists for Joy podcast, “I am called to follow Jesus, not for the sake of helping others believe like me, but to help me be the best version of myself for the world.” *)
Read Matthew 4:1-11 (copied below).
Follow Jesus…
Shortly after he was baptized, Jesus went into the wilderness for a time of solitude, barrenness, and fasting, most likely as preparation for his life of challenging servanthood and radical love. After many days of deprivation, he was tempted with food for his hunger, comfort for his tribulation, and power for his emptiness. With each temptation, Jesus cited Scripture passages to affirm what he truly needed–what is essential for life–as he relied on God’s strength and guidance to remain steadfast.
to be the best version of myself…
On Ash Wednesday, we are mindful of the seasons and cycles of life and death, as we hear the words, “You are dust, and to dust you shall return” (Genesis 3:19). We enter the season of Lent as a time of emptying, humbling, and dying to ourselves, that we may be filled with love and transformed with new life—as Jesus was on that sacred morning we now call Easter. Our Lenten journey is a time to follow the ways of Jesus and deepen in love for the world.
This season, I sense that my wilderness time is to withdraw and empty myself of my hunger for affirmation or recognition, my comfort found in personal security, and my desire for power to control outcomes. I hope to be more mindful of the times when I am not fully trusting in God’s faithfulness, goodness, and provision. Knowing I will not be perfect in this emptying season, I hope to at least open space for more of God’s perfect work in me.
for the world.
God, Infinite Love,
May I enter this Lenten season with eagerness and expectation, because yes, I am only a work in progress—but I am your work in progress, as every one of us is. Your Love comes to us freely, graciously, without our merit, and I am grateful. Please help me to empty myself of all that is not of you–and let you fill me with all that is. Thank you, God.
As we reflect together, as we expand in love this Lenten season, may we each joyfully wonder,
“What new thing is God going to work in me—for the good of the world?”
(Our passage for Sunday will be Matthew 6:25-34. Reflections will then continue each Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday through Lent.)
* This podcast may be found at https://artistsforjoy.org/
Photo by Karen
~~~~~
(Matthew 4:1-11 NRSVUE)
Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tested by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterward he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written,
‘One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,
‘He will command his angels concerning you,’
and ‘On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’”
Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, and he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written,
‘Worship the Lord your God,
and serve only him.’”
Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.
LENT: THE BEST OF OURSELVES
INTRODUCTION
Along with Valentine’s Day, this Wednesday will be Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent–a time for us to grow in faith and deepen in love for Jesus–as we await the celebration of his resurrection on Easter morning. For this season, my Lenten reflections have been inspired by Joshua Long on an Artists for Joy podcast with Merideth Hite Estevez (March 2023). His personal artist’s oath includes a statement that deeply resonated with me:
“I am called to follow Jesus, not for the sake of helping others believe like me, but to help me be the best version of myself for the world.” *
I will revisit and reflect on the life and teachings of Jesus—with the hope that I can keep evolving into “the best version of myself for the world.” Though I will be writing each reflection for my own spiritual discernment and growth, I would love to learn if you glean a different lesson or insight from the passages we will read—the stories and teachings of Jesus that inspire us to live in love. I hope that you will find this time of Lenten contemplation and community a gift for your spirit.
Our passage for Ash Wednesday will be Matthew 4:1-11.
(Reflections will begin on Ash Wednesday, then every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday through Lent.)
*This podcast may be found at https://artistsforjoy.org/
Photo by Karen
Simply Soul Searching 