Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Radiant Splendor, Gentle Surrender (Autumn #4)
THE FREEDOM FROM OUR WORRIES AND FEARS
Isaiah 43:1 (NRSV)
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you… he who formed you: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
Matthew 6:34 (NRSV)
So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Philippians 4:6 (NRSV)
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Of all the burdens Jesus wants to take from us, it seems the burdens of fear or worry are foremost in his heart. All through the Bible we are told, “Do not fear,” and “Do not worry,” and Jesus repeats this quite often. Jesus and the biblical writers certainly know us well. I know how worry or fear can so easily creep into my thoughts- and how they love to linger there!
I drew a simple (“crude” 😀 ) flowchart to help illustrate the impact of worry on our lives and why worry is unhelpful. Think of our lives as a flowchart from birth to death. If we were to assign one day to each cell, we would see how all of our days leading up to today (the cell with the “T”) form a single chain of cells, each day singularly following the previous one. Whatever each cell contained- whether sadness, joy, delight, anger, love, frustration, life, health, or death- we have endured, embraced or enjoyed. We lived each cell one at a time, doing the best we could all the way to today.
But when we look beyond today and begin to worry about tomorrow, the individual chain quickly divides and expands into two chains, then three, four, and more. We may have a difficult day and start to worry if life will improve or worsen. Or we may have a great day but then worry that our good fortune won’t last. We tend to mentally chart every possibility in an attempt to control all we can. Our simple “one day at a time” expands into all of tomorrow’s possible outcomes, then all the ramifications of those outcomes, and then into further scenarios like this flowchart- extending and dividing. Tomorrow suddenly becomes way too much to handle!
And so Jesus says, “Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
At first this doesn’t sound too comforting, does it?! And yet, Jesus makes sense once again. Jesus knows today may be very challenging, difficult, confusing or sad. We may have plenty of trouble today- but these troubles are the certainties. Our fear and worry come from the unknown that lies ahead, not the reality before us. Today’s troubles are issues we can begin to do something about. Jesus doesn’t tell us not to grieve, or not to work to make a difference, or not to heal. He simply says not to worry about all the unknowns and uncertainties that lie ahead. Jesus knows we can deal with every present moment, because he himself is ever-present, offering us his strength, help and guidance.
No matter what concerns tomorrow may hold, we may hold the gifts of peace and hope. What is certain about today is Jesus’ presence and love. What is certain about tomorrow is Jesus’ presence and love. We especially have peace and hope when we trust that, no matter where our future cells take us, all the paths and extensions and winding routes will end at the very first cell of our eternal days. Whatever we experience in the cell before, the last cell in our earthly flowchart will be the cell of eternal joy.
May the radiant splendor of Jesus’ presence and eternal joy help us to gently surrender tomorrow’s worries.
Radiant Splendor, Gentle Surrender (Autumn #3)
THE FREEDOM FROM OUR WOUNDS, GRUDGES AND RESENTMENTS
Psalm 103:8-12 (NRSV)
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far he removes our transgressions from us.
Matthew 18:21-22 (NRSV)
Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
Years ago I learned about the wonderful blessing of the recycle bin on my laptop. I had accidentally erased a document and believed I had lost it forever. I was thrilled when Jim showed me that I could find the document and restore it from the recycle bin! Since then, I am less anxious about deleting items- documents, emails, photos- because I know I can still find them if I need them.
Recently I have been comparing the practice of forgiveness to the recycle bin. Jesus came to free us from the burdens of grudges, resentments and wounds that we carry. Jesus frees us through the healing practice of forgiveness. Jesus frees us from our sins, and so we are to forgive others. In doing so, we find that we are further freed from these burdens of hurt that weigh us down! Forgiveness is a gift for the wounder and the wounded.
But how often is our act of forgiveness like the initial and superficial deleting of a file? We remove the transgression like a document from our regular files, but we feel the need to store it away in case we need it in the future. And when another transgression comes our way, we quickly go back to the recycle bin and restore all the old transgression files we once deleted!
When Jesus tells Peter that he should forgive someone seventy-seven times, my first thought is that I should forgive someone even if they hurt me seventy-seven times. Could Jesus be saying that it might take us seventy-seven times (or more) to fully forgive ONE transgression? Jesus knows our tendency to dredge up the past hurts again and again. Jesus knows about our personal recycle bins. Jesus understands, but he shows us a better way.
My laptop recycle bin is getting quite full. I know I need to empty the bin, and yet there is that anxiety about losing something forever. Right now, the full bin isn’t a problem; I still have plenty of storage space on my laptop. However, I would be motivated to empty the recycle bin if I happen to find a helpful or exciting new file that needs the extra data storage space.
Maybe that’s how we can foster the emptying of those recycle bins of our resentments, hurts and grudges. We first imagine how we might fill the emptied storage space with good files. We could decide to completely delete the wounds in order to make space for joy and healing. Or completely delete the grudges to make space for openness and creativity. Or completely delete the resentments to make space for intellect or beauty. We can choose to empty our recycle bins in order to refill them with something better.
God shows us through Jesus that we are FULLY forgiven. Our transgressions have been deleted AND the recycle bins have been emptied. The deleted files have been replaced with files of grace, love, mercy, kindness. Jesus wants us to love, forgive, and live that way, too. May our spaces be filled with radiant splendor… as we choose to forgive in quiet surrender.
Radiant Splendor, Gentle Surrender (Autumn #2)
These autumn reflections remind us of the needful cycles and seasons of life, and the freedom that Jesus gives us when we are willing to let go. Like the beautiful autumn leaves, our lives will reflect the radiant splendor and the gentle surrender that comes from trusting in the gracious love of Christ- especially when we release all of the burdens from which Jesus came to free us.
THE FREEDOM FROM OUR MISTAKES AND SINS OF THE PAST
For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (NRSV)
When I am walking each morning, my right arm tends to swing freely while my left arm remains fairly stationary. At first this was puzzling to me- until I realized that I usually hang my purse on my left shoulder with my hand clutching the strap. This has become such a regular habit that even when I don’t have my purse with me, I still walk as if I do! If others were to notice my immobile left arm, they might assume that I am in pain or burdened or hampered in some way. While I am actually free and unencumbered, no one would know this by observing me.
I do not carry my purse, but I continue to walk as if I do.
Jesus came to take away our burdens, but how many of us continue to walk as though we are still carrying them? Jesus came to set us free from all that weighs us down, especially the burdens of our past- the burdens of our sin, guilt, mistakes and regrets. For freedom Christ has set us free. But do we truly live and move as freed people?
Years ago, a woman stopped by my office on her way to talk to the pastor. She and I both had been recently divorced, and we began talking about our heartache, guilt and sorrow that came with the ending of our marriages. We also talked about the relief of forgiveness and freedom we found as we began our new lives. But this poor woman was still deeply grieving the years she felt she had lost while living in an unhappy situation. Some of her regret could have been the natural soul-searching we do around midlife, but she seemed especially bitter, sorry and resentful that she had “wasted” so much time.
Did she know that she was also wasting that very day by wallowing in the regret and grief of what might have been? She was losing yet another precious day as she continued to lament her previous days. Even though she understood that she had been forgiven of her sin and freed from her broken marriage, she was unable to embrace that joyous forgiveness and freedom for her life. She remained burdened and consumed by the mistakes of her past.
Jesus wants to fully free us from our baggage. Jesus wants to unburden us so that we can walk differently through this life, to walk with joy and peace and love. One of the best ways we can demonstrate God’s love for the world is to live as forgiven people, with joyful, assured, peaceful spirits, with a lightness of being that comes from the freedom we have found in Christ.
This seems so simple. And yet when we are told, “Here, let me take that burden for you,” we can find it difficult to let go. We can become so accustomed to carrying our burdens that we feel uncomfortable without them. Bearing this additional weight has become our usual way of being, our usual way of walking through life.
At one point I tried to correct my arm movement, trying to swing my left arm to match the swing of my right arm. This felt strange and uncomfortable. We might need to unlearn some of our behaviors and attitudes as we begin to fully appreciate just how free we are. We may need to make a conscious effort on a regular basis. We may need to catch ourselves falling into our old habits and repenting of them. Most of all, we may need to daily entrust ourselves in him whom “we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28), to the One who freed us in the first place.
In Christ, we become new creations. We become people who are free to live and love, lightly and joyfully, as witnesses of God’s relieving and releasing forgiveness and love.
Make it so, dear Christ. Make it so.
Radiant Splendor, Gentle Surrender (Autumn #1)

Introduction- Tuesday, October 21
I love how God has created the seasons of nature, and how these seasons provide life lessons and inspiration for us. We too, experience the cycles of seasons in our lives- winters of barrenness and rest, springs of resurrection and new growth, and summers of productivity and abundance. Perhaps because I am at this later-middle stage of life, the season of autumn especially touches my soul. The autumn season is a sacred time of radiant splendor turning into quiet surrender, as the trees transform into their true and glorious colors and then gradually, gently surrender everything to the earth.
In my next few blogs, I will be sharing some of the insights God seems to be revealing through this movement of the trees from splendor to surrender. We will consider how Jesus graciously frees us to live lives of radiant beauty, and also discern what we should surrender in order to fully receive all that he has come to give us.
THE FREEDOM OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
1 John 3:1a (NRSV)
See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are.
At our WELCA Cluster Women’s Retreat this past weekend, Stephanie led us through some meaningful sessions on LOVE. We spent the first day discussing the limits of our human love: the times when we are unloving, the times when our love is conditional, the times we have been hurt by others’ conditional love. As each woman shared her personal stories, we gained new perspectives and appreciation for the amazing unconditional love God has for all of us through Jesus.
God loves us completely and fully. God loves us- no matter how we have been treated, no matter how we have failed in our love for others, no matter how we struggle and fumble or learn and grow in our relationship with God and one another. God loves us all the time. Always. Forever. The telling of our stories and the lessons of the day were powerful and meaningful.
But on Sunday morning, Stephanie asked a question that moved me to tears: “How would you love YOURSELF with a bold and Christ-like love?”
As I try to follow Jesus’ example of love, I generally think about growing in my love toward others. It often feels selfish to love myself as well. And in the times when I don’t like myself very much, to know that I am still beloved seems overwhelming and undeserved. This love IS undeserved! Turning this love of Christ toward myself feels so humbling… and so completely freeing.
We were invited to write down some ways we could love ourselves with the bold love of Christ. This practice began to open new visions, new images of whom we are called to be. Knowing that we are loved by God gave us the courage to dream, the yearning to grow and learn, the desire to see our unique selves as God has created us. Like the leaves of autumn, our true colors began to reveal themselves in the light of Christ’s unconditional love.
To genuinely live in the freedom of unconditional love, we must fully welcome, embrace and absorb this love. We must also fully surrender whatever may hinder us from from receiving and radiating this love. We may need to surrender our insecurities, our doubts, or our imperfections. We may need to surrender our pride, our selfishness, or our self-reliance.
What hinders you from fully receiving this generous and life-changing love of Christ? What might you surrender today? Like the autumn trees, we are beautifully transformed when we embrace God’s radiant splendor… through our gentle surrender.
A Tribute to Beth
(Beth on her birthday, September 2014)
A few weeks ago, Jim and I learned of the earthly passing of a dear friend. In some ways, Beth was our most unique friend. In some ways, she was our most trying friend. But in many ways, she was also our dearest friend. Our lives have been enriched, expanded and illuminated because of our friendship with this wild and wonderful woman.
I first met Beth while serving as a youth director in Toledo. Beth was homeless, and at that time she traveled by bicycle all over the Toledo area. She would stop by my office just to chat, or to warm herself during cold winter mornings, or to escape the heat of sweltering summer afternoons. Many times she also asked for financial help, but she always promised to pay me back- and she did whenever she could.
Oh, how I wish I could say that I was always gracious and welcoming, but there were times when I didn’t want to be bothered. I’m ashamed that I even stayed elsewhere in the building a few times when she stopped by. But most of the time, I was blessed to spend time with her, help her when I could, and come away from our visits with a lighter spirit. I knew that this was what I was called to do through the love of Christ. And certainly my church office was the perfect setting to serve like Jesus.
Then came the eye-opening, soul-opening day when Beth asked me where I lived. At first, I wouldn’t tell her; I was worried that she would come by at inconvenient times, and I was anxious about actually having her in my home. The hurt in her eyes was profoundly, sadly visible when I remained quiet. She knew then that I really didn’t consider her the friend that I had led her to believe she was.
Through that humbling and heart-breaking moment, God opened my heart. I was reminded about selfless service. About genuine hospitality. About spiritual integrity.
I gave her my address. That small step opened a new venue and new life for our friendship over the next years. I will be sharing some of our favorite times and stories of Beth as they come to me in the days ahead.
Here is one of my favorites…
Jim and I were meeting with other ministry colleagues when Beth came to the church. She was very concerned; she had found a wallet and was desperate to return it to the one who lost it. Beth knew there was money in the wallet, but as Jim searched for identification, he found an additional two hundred dollars tucked behind another flap! When Jim told her what he had found, Beth only became more determined to find the rightful owner. She never even considered how nice it would be to keep the money for herself.
This was our first lesson from Beth. What an honor, a privilege, to know someone who is so destitute and yet would never, ever consider keeping the money. Oh, the rich generosity of this friend who had nothing, who still chose to return the treasure she had found! What a blessing to see Christ in the one we had only hoped would see Christ in us.
Thank you, Beth, for showing us how to live with true compassion and selflessness.
Thank you, God, for bringing Beth into our lives.
Look Beyond or Look At?
Monday Moment- Observing the Obstruction
I have a favorite point along my walking path that offers an expansive view of sky, field, trees, hills and sunrises. This view is beyond the paved street, down a gravel path and up a small rise onto a wide field. Last year I began a practice of extending my path each day to appreciate the view, greet the day, and take a photo. I then decided to do this every day for an entire year. I planned to photograph the beautiful scene every morning, hoping to capture the gradual changes and seasonal beauty that time would reveal.
Last January we had quite a windstorm. The following morning, I was dismayed to find a huge tree section had been dragged to my treasured place on the field! Deposited right at the top of the rise, the tree blocked the grand views I had grown to love. I was upset. My view and my plans for the photo progression series were ruined. I quit walking to my once-treasured spot. I just stopped at the end of the street and turned for home.
A few weeks ago I decided to walk back and check out my view again. The first thing I noticed was that the tree had been decomposing, making its slow return to the earth. Branches had broken off and leaves were gone; the tree wasn’t quite the obstruction it once had been. Birds frolicked and pecked for food along the trunk and branches as they chirped loudly to one another. Grasses and wildflowers, usually cut down with regular mowing, now flourished in the shelter of the tree limbs. I found that the dead tree had a beauty of its own that spoke to my soul.
This “obstruction” to my view then became the center of my attention. In changing my focus, I gleaned several insights.
- Is an obstruction really an obstruction, a barrier to look around or look beyond? Or is an obstruction actually a revelation waiting to be noticed?
- When I seek only the glorious beauty of distant grand vistas, I miss the gentle beauty of everyday moments before me.
- When I focus solely on future hopes and dreams, I overlook miracles that are unfolding here and now.
- I regret that I did not continue to take photos all along. The treasures of life unfold so gradually that I may not notice the gifts in process until much later. What have I missed along the way?
- The death of the tree brought gifts to the world; nutrients to feed the soil and spaces for new life to begin. God reveals significant insights for life and death through all of creation.
- An insurmountable obstacle may eventually diminish or even become a blessing, but only if I learn to face and embrace the obstacle, try to uncover all it holds for me, and allow the time and space for God to work.
I turned for home that morning, wondering how many other sacred moments I have only perceived as obstacles to my plans, or obstructions to my view. I am thankful that God can use everything– grand vistas and minute details, unimpeded progress and hindering barriers, yielding hearts and stubborn ways- to teach and inspire. May the lessons keep coming, and may I become a more attentive student.
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
Isaiah 43:19 (NRSV)
Listening to Your Gut (and God)
John 14:16-17 (NRSV)
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.
During my hysterectomy for ovarian cancer, a chemotherapy port was attached to my lower rib. For nine weeks, my treatments were infused directly into my abdomen through this port (instead of through my veins), so that the chemotherapy drugs would coat my organs directly. A few months later, I started having terrible muscle spasms near the port. At first, I was able to stop them by breathing slowly and lying still. But each evening they worsened, until one night they would not subside and Jim took me to the emergency room.
When I described my pain as a muscle spasm, the doctor on duty immediately discounted my explanation and replied that she didn’t think this was the problem. Well, it certainly felt like my muscle was tensing, but since she was the professional I began to doubt myself. Several blood tests, an MRI, an X-ray, and lots of numbing pain relievers later, no problems were revealed. After several long hours, I finally had another spasm while an attendant was standing by my bed. He could then see what was happening to me and where the problem was located. Diagnosis: muscle spasm.
My experience serves as an actual physical example of the importance of “listening to my gut.” Had the doctor and I trusted what I was feeling in my gut, we could have saved lots of time and medical expenses.
This expression, “listen to your gut” refers to our intuition. We are wise to pay attention to that “gut feeling” within us that tells us whether something is or isn’t right for us, whether something does or doesn’t fit with our personal integrity, or whether something brings either an inner peace or an inner turmoil to our souls. There are times when our gut compels us to do something even when it doesn’t make sense and yet it feels so right. There are other times when an opportunity seems perfect, but our gut tells us to decline.
I believe that the Spirit speaks to us through our gut feelings. In John 14, Jesus tells his disciples that they will know this Spirit of truth abiding within them. Our gut feelings serve as a way for the Spirit to guide us into our own self-truths. How many of us have been surprised by a gut feeling that we should do something, and then in doing so have discovered a new truth about ourselves or found a blessing in heeding that inner voice?
Jesus goes on to say that the world won’t recognize this Spirit within us. So there may be times when people question our deep intuition or gut feelings (the Spirit’s movement), because from the outside they make no sense. As in my example, the emergency room doctor based decisions on the outer evidence- my recent incisions, my cancer treatment records, and my description of the pain. The doctor wanted to do everything possible to help me but could not fully know what I felt within. Perhaps the doctor assumed the worst, given my situation, and for that reason I am grateful for the thoroughness- even though it proved unnecessary.
People around us may discount our longings or believe we are mistaken. We can be grateful for their input, because we know they want to help us- based on what they are able to see. We have more to go on. We have a greater insight into our souls and a deeper awareness of the Spirit within us. Our gut feelings may not make sense to those around us, but they will make complete sense within us, because we are hearing from the Spirit of truth. The Spirit who reveals our truth.
(As I was contemplating this blog, I dictated my thoughts onto a memo app on my cell phone. I found it a sacred coincidence that when I said the word, “gut” the app entered the word, “God.”)
Photo by Daniel Fontenele on Unsplash
“Keeping” Sabbath
Monday Moment
Last fall I led a mini-retreat on spiritual practices. As I enthusiastically described my morning routine of waking at 5:30, writing in my daily journal, sharing coffee and devotional time with Jim, and walking for an hour with God, one of the participants quietly asked me, “What time do you have to be at work? I have to be at my desk, ready to go by 7:30.” Oh… My part-time hours generally began at 10:00- and even those were flexible. I was offering my suggestions for spiritual practices from a different place and more open season of life.
In recent weeks I have been contemplating the practice of Sabbath-keeping. It began when my son Kevin, overwhelmed with writing papers, doing research, interviewing volunteers, working long days, and winding up his internship for his PhD, was also told to “take time for self-care.” My daughters, both mothers of little ones, have been comparing what few hours of sleep they have been able to have. They work full time, spend their evening hours tending their homes and families, and finally fall asleep for a few hours before beginning again. Scheduling time for self-care or Sabbath rest becomes an additional burden in these busy seasons of their lives. When they look over their schedules, nearly every hour is filled with necessary and worthwhile tasks.
If we were to look up “reasons for Sabbath” on the internet, we would find quite a number! We would learn that Sabbath is commanded of us, the third of the Ten Commandments. Sabbath is to be a day of rest. Sabbath is a time to honor and worship God. Sabbath is a recognition that God is in control. Sabbath is a time to be grateful. Sabbath is a time to slow and be present to those around us. Sabbath is a time to replenish our souls.
But Sabbath doing doesn’t necessarily foster Sabbath keeping. I have attended worship services in which I struggled to keep awake, or was distracted with worry, or even wrote grocery lists instead of worshiping God. Sometimes my morning walks with God have been fruitful and deep; other times God feels quite far away. Then there have been times when my fully scheduled day inspired gratitude, fostered a peaceful and restful spirit, and opened my sense of the presence of God more than my prayers in a quiet sanctuary.
Today I want to offer encouragement for my loved ones and any others whose lives are very full. (All of the examples that follow have happened to family members in recent weeks.) When you are working long hours to provide for your family, when you are scrambling to finish three research papers before the end of the term, when your only transportation home is a bus that comes after regular work hours, when you work on your day off so that you can enjoy the weekend with your family but your children bring home hours of homework, when your Sunday morning involves leading worship instead of resting in worship, when you rise early to get ahead on your correspondence and find your email server is down, when you collapse to sleep for a few hours and your baby awakens five times, when the foster agency asks if you can take a youngster for an emergency overnight stay, when your already full day is peppered with unexpected interruptions…
Remember that what you are doing is needful, purposeful, and good. What you are doing is important for this time, for this season of your life. What you are doing is of great value. What you are doing is essential for you and those you love. What you are doing through your careers is greatly helping other people. Recognize that if what you are doing isn’t any of these, you would have already abandoned them.
Take heart. We can KEEP Sabbath in our souls when we can’t DO Sabbath. We can carry the perspectives and the purposes of Sabbath within us as we tackle our busy days. We can attend our careers, commitments, families, friends, and daily living with a spirit of appreciation and gratitude to God. We can know that what we do has value, gives us our purpose, and helps others. We can tackle our busy days with a non-anxious, restful countenance. Most of all, we can do all these things in servant love for one another. And when we feel overwhelmed, we can rely on God for our strength and peace.
One day soon, may we each find the space and time to fully embrace self-care and Sabbath practices. Until then, may we not regard Sabbath-keeping as one more task to do, but instead carry that inner Sabbath presence as our faithful way to be.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NRSV)
Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash
Between Meals
Food for Thought, Day Six
Saturday, August 31st
Luke 22:19 NRSV
Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.
As Jesus shared his last Passover meal with his disciples, he instructed them to keep sharing the bread and wine together, and to remember him when doing so. Since then, people all over the world continue to gather for this meal, sharing the bread and wine and remembering Jesus. This sacramental meal has become very meaningful for much of humanity. When people speak of their personal experiences and their understandings of Communion, one can see the rich significance this sacrament holds in a variety of ways.
What if Jesus also gave us this sacrament to serve as a starting point? When Jesus tells us to break bread and drink wine, he is inviting us to gather together. And when we want to get to know people, what do we usually do? We invite them to a meal! Communion serves as a connecting point to begin building relationships with one another and to grow as a community of Christ. Communion and community are closely connected words.
In his book, A Bigger Table, John Pavlovitz describes Jesus as a table setter:
“What struck me when I began to read the Gospel stories was Jesus’ table ministry, the way he so often used the act of sharing a meal, the act of breaking bread, as a way of letting people know they were seen and heard and known and respected… The table was an altar around which he welcomed the world to experience communion with God and with one another.”¹
If Communion is a starting point, then what we do between meals becomes very important. Imagine Jesus at his last Passover meal with the disciples. They were friends, they were connected, they had worked and served, they had struggled and prayed, they had fed and healed. That last meal together was so much more than a get-acquainted dinner. If we connect at the Communion table but then go our own ways until the next meal, are we getting to know one another better? Are we serving others together? Are we studying, praying, listening, or helping one another? If not, we will gather as strangers again for the next meal.
We have thought about food quite a bit this week. What we do between meals makes an important difference, too!
And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Thanks for reading.
¹Pavlovitz, John. (2017). A Bigger Table. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press
Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash
“What’s Eating YOU?”
Food for Thought, Day Five
Friday, August 30th
Isaiah 26:3-4 (NRSV)
Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace—
in peace because they trust in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for in the Lord God
you have an everlasting rock.
When I was in elementary school, my stomach hurt every day during the recess period that followed lunch. At first my young mind reasoned that stomachaches were just part of life, until I realized they only happened during recess. So, for a while I thought recess was to blame, until I recognized that eating lunch caused the problem. Then one day my mom happened to put an apple in my lunch instead of a banana. I went to recess- and was surprised and thrilled to feel fine! My nausea wasn’t from life, recess or lunch, but only from the banana. A small difference in my lunchbox made a big difference for me. The rest of the year went much better!
We have thought quite a bit about the choices we make and the foods we eat this week. Today we are flipping our perspective a bit, to think about those things that eat at us, the things that nag us, bother us, and consume our thoughts. I know I’m not alone when I awaken during the night and feel as if something is troubling me. Or when I’m going through my day and realize that I have been distracted, not fully present to the moment. Or when I find I am clenching my teeth. Or my stomach feels a vague uneasiness and my soul feels unsettled.
“What’s bothering me?” I ask myself when I notice I’m uptight. “Oh yes… it’s this trouble that’s gnawing at me.”
The older I become, the more I understand that this awareness is just the beginning of any steps toward healing or problem solving. Usually the first trouble I name isn’t the actual reason, but only a step toward discovering the true problem. When my stomach hurt at recess years ago, I initially understood the pain as just a normal part of life, then reasoned that it came from recess and lunch, and finally learned that it was only the banana that caused the trouble.
We can’t begin to solve a problem until we have truly discerned the real problem. The problem needs to be clarified and specified before we can address it accurately- and at times, we find that we have been blaming the wrong thing. The more we can pare our troubles down to a specific one, the better we are able to help ourselves. I have found so often that once I name the specific and accurate reason why I am troubled, the trouble naturally seems smaller!
In all of our troubles, God is our one true source of peace. God already knows what is truly and specifically bothering us. What’s eating you? God is ready to help reveal the trouble… resolve the problem… remove the hurt… remedy the wounds… and restore our peace.
See you tomorrow.
Photo by Denys Argyriou on Unsplash
Simply Soul Searching 