Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Nothing to Prove
Monday Moment
I had just begun serving as a volunteer ministry coordinator, and during a staff meeting I excitedly talked about the tasks I had finished and the new ministries I was planning. I later recognized that I had shared these accomplishments because I was excited about my ministry- but also because I hoped to prove myself worthy of my new position and maybe even receive a few accolades. The next day I apologized to my dear staff friends for boasting. Bless them, they claimed they had not noticed. (My friend Kyle even assured me, “Anyone who is that excited about making labels has more serious issues than boasting.” đ )
In recent weeks, I have been thinking about my need to prove myself, and how this flies in the face of experiencing God’s complete grace and love for me. Everything I am, all I am able to do, any worth I can claim, comes from God alone. God comes to us not because of our merit but because of God’s love. God just loved us first and will love us forever. How can we possibly feel any more valued than this?
If we can comprehend that we are truly God’s beloved, blessed and forgiven people, and then begin to live as such, we are given three incredible freedoms:
The freedom from our need to prove we are valuable or worthy.
Ephesians 2:8-9 (NRSV)
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of Godâ not the result of works, so that no one may boast.
My worth comes from God alone. My value IS in God alone. Instead of telling the staff all I had done or planned to do, I could have let my actions speak for themselves. The integrity of my work would show my joyful gratitude to God while using the gifts and graces God has given me for ministry. My work should be for the glory of God alone, for God is the source of all that is good, the source of all that we are able to accomplish.
The freedom from our need to prove we are right or justified.
Matthew 27:11-14 (NRSV)
Now Jesus stood before the governor; and the governor asked him, âAre you the King of the Jews?â Jesus said, âYou say so.â But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he did not answer. Then Pilate said to him, âDo you not hear how many accusations they make against you?â But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed.
I can recall several instances when I was unable to justify myself to others, either because of confidential information I had to keep, or because my reasoning would fall on deaf ears, or both. For example, as a ministry leader I once had to keep a volunteer from serving because of confidential information I had received from a variety of people. I could not tell my ministry team all the reasons why I made the decision, and the person denied any wrongdoing. As I endured the anger, grief, and confusion of those who did not know the whole story, I remembered how Jesus stood in silence before his accusers, even as he was led to his death. Jesus knew that God’s assessment is the only one that matters. God knows our whole story, and God is the One to forgive us all, including the volunteer- and me.
The freedom from our need to prove we are better, or at least “less bad.”
Luke 18:9-14 (NRSV)
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: âTwo men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, âGod, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.â But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, âGod, be merciful to me, a sinner!â I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.â
When I am feeling guilty, how easily I want to claim, “I may have done this, but at least I didn’t do what they did…” When I am feeling inadequate, how easily I want to believe, “They may have done better, but I was just having an off day…” When I am feeling regret, how easily I want to explain, “I am sorry for doing this, but any other person would have done the same thing, or worse.” Much like a child tries to convince a parent, my conscience tries to convince myself and God that in some way I am still ‘better than’ in the midst of my brokenness.
We do not need to prove that we are better or any less bad than others. In God’s eyes, we are all equally beloved children. We are all sinners, we are all saints. Perhaps God would like us to not compare ourselves to others, but to compare our own growth in love and obedience from yesterday to today. We are equally and highly valued- wherever we fall on the ‘sinner-saint’ continuum- simply because we are God’s.
We are loved beyond our imagining, far beyond any worldly comparisons or judgments. There is no need for us to justify ourselves, to prove our worth to others, or to diminish our faults before God. With God’s love proven to us in incredible ways throughout our lives and promised for all eternity, we are free to stand on God’s merit alone. We have nothing more to prove.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Stepping Forward
Friday, Day Five
We stand on the threshold of a twilight- whether morning or evening we do not know. One is followed by the night, the other heralds the dawn. ~ Mahatma Ghandi
We all face an equally unknown future as we prepare to leave this threshold, no matter how the door closed behind us. Those who have left the old room happily, and those who have left the old room reluctantly, now stand together on the same threshold of this new and different day.
At first this may seem disquieting, but the uncertainty can actually be a gift. Our temporary and uncertain earthly days draw us to the eternal and certain presence of God. We can be assured that God holds our future, whether we are entering the morning or the evening. Most of all, we know that God is doing something new in us, and if we allow God to work freely, God will do something good, too.
This week we have focused on the closed door and threshold time. Now is the time to move forward, to look around this new room and ask new questions. We begin by tending ourselves, looking for ways to restore our sense of peace, comfort and a bit of normalcy.
As we look at our new life before us, what is familiar? Who or what is here to bring us comfort? Much like the way we might enter a crowded room or an unfamiliar place, we take a look around to see whom we know, what is being offered and available for us, and where we might find our best place to be. Seeking out comforting and comfortable things like family, friends, restful spaces, delightful treats, laughter and conversation will help us in our new life, too.
What disciplines or routines will keep me grounded in this new life? What will help restore a sense of normalcy? In the midst of my cancer treatments, I found joy in simple tasks such as making our bed and brewing the coffee each morning. Yes, I liked having a neat bedroom and drinking a mug of coffee, but I especially savored these routine tasks because they brought a sense of normalcy to the new day. Spiritual practices such as praying, journaling, worshiping or spending time in nature also help to center us, comfort us, and calm us.
When we are ready, the time comes to ask the most important questions of all, as we begin to look beyond ourselves, turning our focus outward to those around us.
Who or what seems to need our attention here? Have we entered this room for another reason? Are we here to bless someone else now? Asking God to help us make the most of our situations and experiences, we can find ways to use our trials and joys to bless God, serve others, or improve the world in some way. We can offer help or hope for those who are experiencing what we have. We become aware that we are here in this new room, not only for our own blessing, but so we may bless others. In the end, we may make the most of this new place by letting God use us for purposes beyond ourselves.
We actually enter a new room with the dawn of each day, don’t we? How wonderful it is that we have a God who already is there waiting for us, waiting to show us new light and life and joy and love. May we venture forth into this new day, this new life, knowing we have everything we need- and so much more- to live this life fully anew, fully alive, and fully amazed!
Do not remember the former things,
or consider the things of old.
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19 (NRSV)
(Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash)
…Leaving What is Not
Thursday, Day Four
I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10 NRSV)
Yesterday’s blog (Taking What is EssentialâŚ) offered some inventory questions to consider after a door closes. What have I lost? What do I still carry with me? What do I need for the next step? These questions help us to grieve with gratitude, take stock of what remains, and discern what is essential for our new journey.
Yes, the closing door signifies the end of some important aspects of our lives. But if we open our hearts, the closed door can become an invitation to new beginnings. We can make the most of this time of change and closure. Today we ask a few more inventory questions, this time about other non-essentials we might leave behind. What am I truly relieved to have left behind the closed door? Are there any negative things that still cling and need to be released? What positive things are no longer necessary?
What am I truly relieved to have left behind the closed door? In all of life’s changes, there are some things that we readily know we are blessed to leave behind. Some of those were the reasons to leave in the first place. But have you ever found a new freedom or joy after the initial heartache of a loss you didn’t expect?
I once told a friend that I was disappointed when I didn’t get a job that I wanted. She surprised me by saying, “Good- now see what else is in store for you!” She was right. I later learned about some additional aspects of that job, and I knew I would not have enjoyed working for that company.
Are there any negative things that still cling and need to be released? When a door closes on a difficult time, we may believe we have finally left behind all of the unpleasant things from that time. But they continue to cling or linger with us. We may find it more challenging to walk away from those nagging and unpleasant feelings such as grudges, guilt, resentment, anger or stress.
We may choose to close the door on an unhealthy relationship, but until we leave behind the hurt and pain we cannot receive the gifts of peace and forgiveness. We may leave a stressful career, but if we habitually take on new stresses, the gift of relief never comes. There might be a beautiful purpose to every closing door, but unless we allow its complete closure, that purpose may never fully bless us as it should.
What positive things remain but are no longer necessary? We have an invitation to consider letting go of even more. Are there things we can choose to totally leave behind in order to live this new life with greater freedom and lightness of being? What things have blessed us in the past, but no longer hold the same gift for us? Will these things now bless someone else more than us? Can we leave behind all that may now be cumbersome, outdated, or unnecessary?
What are the things we can completely leave in order to completely live?
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. â Lao Tzu
I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. â Carl Jung
Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the past no longer holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the past go. A simply abundant world awaits. â Sarah Breathnach
Photo by Farrel Nobel on Unsplash
Taking What is Essential…
Wednesday, Day Three
At the beginning of a backpacking trip in the Colorado Rockies, our guide had all of us stand in a circle, open our packs, and place our belongings on the ground in front of us. She then went to each of our piles and redistributed everything, making decisions for us: “You don’t need this extra sweatshirt, let’s give it to her.” I was touchy about all of this, but I never did need that sweatshirt. I was relieved of carrying unnecessary weight when climbing became strenuous. I carried only what was essential for the trip.
When life-changing, door-closing moments come into our lives (see No Matter How the Door ClosesâŚ), we are wise to take an unexpected but important inventory. What have I lost- that is, what has been taken away or left behind? What do I still have with me? And what will I need as I venture out into this new life? In taking stock of these things, we begin to discern what is essential.
What have I lost? Taking inventory of the precious things we have lost, treasures that now remain behind the closed door- whether a loved one, a special possession, a home, a vocation, our health, our way of living- gives us a chance to gratefully acknowledge the privilege we have had of loving and enjoying any of these, even for a moment. Our healing grief comes from our deep appreciation and gratitude for what has previously blessed us.
Remembering all these things, we can then ask, What remains with me from these treasures? What are the gifts I still carry with me? Our inventory might include such things as the laughter, love and spirit of our eternal, beloved ones. The gift of becoming better people from friendships once shared. The peace in knowing we will all be reunited one day. The memories of life in a previous home or place. The enjoyment of certain belongings and keepsakes that remain in our mind’s eye. The knowledge and skills we have learned from careers and experiences. The preparation and training for a yet-to-be discovered new vocation. The hope that is strengthened by faith and trust. The sense of confidence as we remember all the times God has helped us…
What will we need as we venture forth? We might feel unprepared and ill-equipped, but we still have the essentials. We have everything we need first and foremost- the spiritual treasures freely given by our generous God. God pours out peace, hope, love, joy, patience, courage, and strength in abundance. God has already gone before us into every tomorrow. God accompanies us into the future, sharing heavenly treasures each step of the way.
Jesus is so wise in telling us not to store up treasures on earth, but to seek the treasures of heaven. Not only are these the truest and best treasures, they are eternal treasures. They are always going to be with us, no matter our circumstances! The things that Jesus says are essential are also the things we will never lose… the things that were, are, and ever will be.
Matthew 6:19-21 (NRSV)
âDo not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
Wait a Minute
Tuesday, Day Two
We had taken our youth group on a mission trip to Newark, NY, where I was also serving on the volunteer staff there. After a hot day of mission work, our Toledo group walked to an ice cream shoppe for cool treats. I was eager to hear about their adventures and relax in the air conditioning with sweet ice cream. But I soon received a text from the professional staff back at the church base: “Where are you? We need you for the next group activity.”
I was so excited to reconnect with my youth that I had forgotten my additional role as an adult staff leader! The moment I received that text, one of those doors described in yesterday’s blog (No Matter How the Door ClosesâŚ) quickly shut; I no longer belonged in the ice cream shoppe. Embarrassed and upset, I hurried out and began racing back to the church- until I heard the concerned voice of my dear Jim behind me, yelling that I was headed in the wrong direction.
I seem to handle these upsetting times much like I handle coming upon a traffic jam. I become so anxious to fix the situation that I find it difficult to pause, thinking that I must hurry to remedy it. I want to take any nearby route that will keep me going- even if that route will take me on a longer detour. I believe that as long as I’m moving, I’m progressing.
All that hurrying does no good if we are headed in the wrong direction.
When a door of life suddenly closes behind us and we end up on the threshold, we can be tempted to keep moving, to carry on with life, to not lose our progress. We try to quickly remedy the situation because we are panicking. Desperate to relieve the discomfort or salvage the loss, we grab at any and all possibilities that might help us return to “normal.” But we are trying to take that next step when we cannot even see straight.
This threshold time is our grace-filled opportunity to pause and regroup- so that our next steps will be the best ones. There is purpose in the pausing. There is even progress in the pausing. When we stop to consider our options, when we find the space to catch our breath, when we allow time for our clarity to recover, and when we seek God’s guidance and strength, we will be in a much better position to take that next step.
“Don’t just do something, stand there!”*
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:28-31 NRSV)
(*Quote attributed to a variety of people)
No Matter How the Door Closes…
Monday Moment- Day One
I once heard the embarrassing story of someone who stepped into the hallway of his hotel room, still in his underwear, to pick up the morning paper. He was VERY surprised when the door to his room suddenly closed behind him! He had to walk to the front desk in his skivvies to get another key.
In recent weeks, I have witnessed other types of doors closing for several dear ones. The treasured door of married life closed for a friend whose precious spouse died of cancer. The comfortable door of the place called âhomeâ closed for another loved one who moved to an assisted living space. The oppressive door of a stressful career closed for a neighbor who found a better position. As the doors have closed on their old lives, they now face new and unfamiliar lives on the other side.
At different times throughout life we all have had doors close behind us. Stages in maturity, phases of growth, and unexpected changes or challenges tell us we no longer belong in our current room and compel us to enter another- a new and unfamiliar room. Each closing door can come from a variety of circumstances…
There are happy times when we fondly take one last look around the room before gently closing the door behind us. We then step eagerly into a new vocation, a more suitable home, an exciting adventure, or a better way of living. Aware of what we are leaving behind, we linger for a moment… but our hearts are light as we anticipate our brighter future. We grasp the doorknob and pull the door shut, grateful for the memories but ready to let go and move into the future.
There are surprising times when we are like the person at the hotel- when we open the door just to take a peek, and suddenly find ourselves on the other side. When Jim and I first visited Hurricane, WV to see our daughter, we both agreed that the city âwas nice enough, but we wouldnât want to live here.â Soon we were making plans to relocate to Hurricane! When circumstances move more rapidly than expected, we barely have time to grasp the doorknob. We glance back with a hurried thanks and allow the door to shut.
Then… there are painful times when we are swiftly and harshly escorted out the door. We are given no time for looking back, no time to make plans for the future. The door slams shut with the death of a loved one, the end of a job or marriage, the destruction of a home or other catastrophe, or the loss of our good health. We are dumped on the other side of the door into a new life for which we have not prepared, severed from our old life without a moment to pause and reflect. Standing on the threshold of a strange new room, we wonder why our hand never even touched the doorknob.
Whatever circumstances may take us from our current room- happy, surprising, painful- we all end up in the same place. We land on the threshold of a different life, a new beginning, with an unfamiliar view. But the way the doors close behind us affects the way we view the life before us, doesn’t it?
How might we prevent our recent exit from hindering our new entrance? What might we do to take the best first step from the threshold? In what ways do God’s promises help us in these times? This week I will be sharing some thoughts about these closing doors and new beginnings.
Has a door closed behind you in recent times? I pray that you’ll find a blessing as you read this week.
Seeing the Greed… in Me
Monday Moment
Last December, Jim and I purchased a new Christmas tree. I have a collection of angel ornaments, and we had been missing our “angel tree” after downsizing to one tree for our move to West Virginia. This wasn’t a lavish purchase, but at the time I couldn’t help thinking, “Could the money have been used to help someone else? Could the money have made a bigger difference for another life than a second tree does for us?”
I have become discouraged with the climate of great greed that seems to be so prevalent these days. I want to be critical of the millionaires and billionaires who are looking to make even more money, often at the expense (or while disregarding the betterment) of others. Yes, there is a need for consumerism in order for careers to flourish and unemployment to decrease. But I am sad to consider the many who struggle for simple daily needs, as others continue to amass money and goods while looking for new ways to gain even more.
As Richard Rohr writes of the many who have said, “There is more than enough for our need but never enough for our greed.” š
Whenever I become critical or judgmental of the ways of the world, I soon sense that God is asking me how I contribute to the problem.
“Karen, are billionaires the only ones who could be described as greedy? Is there a precise cut-off point- a certain number of dollars- that differentiates someone from having enough to having too much? Would you be greedy only if you reach one million dollars or more? Or would you be greedy if you have a second tree while many others don’t even have one tree- or enough food for today?”
I am guilty. I am greedy. Not only can I be greedy with possessions, at times I can be greedy in other ways. Greedy for attention. Greedy for recognition. Greedy for speaking (more than listening) in conversations. Greedy for the pizza slice with the most cheese. I know I can be greedy even in ways in which I am not aware.
Instead of dwelling on the guilt of my greed, the better action would be to ask God the questions that bring about change: “What can I do about my tendency to be greedy? What can I do to better serve the needs of others? In what areas are You inviting me to be more generous and less selfish?” Rather than just pointing a finger or blaming others, I can begin by doing what I can to be part of the solution.
NOW is the time for us to show God’s love, to give people hope, to rally with helpful support, to be shining lights with gracious and generous spirits, in a world that so desperately needs us to do so. God calls us to be people of generosity- no matter our income level.
Jesus tells us, Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Fatherâs good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:32-34 NRSV)
Our generous lives will show how much we trust his words.
šRichard Rohr quote from his article: https://cac.org/scarcity-or-abundance-2018-07-05/
Money Jar image by Josh Appel on UnSplash (@joshappel)
Porches
Monday Moment
In my Fatherâs house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? (John 14:2 NRSV)
If heaven gives us options, I would choose a large porch with rockers, gliders, and wicker furniture with comfy cushions for my dwelling place! A beautiful day with plenty of good books on hand. Sweet tea served with real sugar and no guilt. I would spend the day meeting the people I always wanted to meet, but most of all reuniting with those dear ones who have gone before me. To me, that would be perfect.
Mom and I sat on her porch a while ago and talked about a variety of topics, but soon began reminiscing about the fun times our family had enjoyed on the porch over the years. As children, my siblings and I found the porch to be a perfect place for playing school, hosting puppet shows, coloring or painting, reading, and holding overnight sleep outs with our neighborhood friends.
Mom and Dad made lots of memories out there, too, playing cards and laughing into the night with friends and family. Our own family enjoyed many breakfasts, lunches and dinners on the picnic table, and when the grandchildren came along, that same table provided a place for modeling clay, puzzles and board games.
Jim and I added a screened porch to our home last year, and it has swiftly become our favorite living space. We share our coffee and prayer time with the birds and bunnies each summer morning. On cooler evenings, we sit and talk over our days, read, listen to audio books, or visit with our dear neighbors. Slowing my pace helps draw me near to God, as I journal and reflect at the table. Our porch reminds me of my good childhood memories, brings me closer to nature, and connects my spirit with my mom’s, too.
I know the troubles of the world are complex and confusing, but sometimes I wonder if most of the world’s troubles could be solved by “spending more time on the porch.” Imagine world leaders debating issues in tee shirts, jeans and flip flops over a glass of sweet tea. Would the conversation transform into a back porch discussion, with honest searching and mutual compromise? Would the process of negotiation benefit from a casual atmosphere of friendship and camaraderie? Would another viewpoint be more readily heard over board games or cards? Would the hotly contested issues be tempered by cool evening breezes? Would leaders begin to see one another as neighbors by eliminating the conference table and sitting together on a porch swing?
For that matter, how would our lives change if we spent more time on the porch? Would we become better people if we took more time to spend with one another, to feed our souls, to listen to God in nature, to be good neighbors, or to simply BE? One has to wonder how near to heaven our time on the porch might be.
Thank you, Jesus, for promising us that we have a place, with you, in heaven one day. In the meantime, I think I will make a glass of tea, grab my book, and head out to the porch.
(After I had written this blog, Jim told me of the country song, “If the World Had a Front Porch” by Tracy Lawrence. Check it out sometime!)
Fear
Friday
In 2016, Jim and I were in Columbus, Ohio for a lovely June wedding of dear friends. Shortly after we had arrived, we were excited to learn that the Columbus Pride Parade was to be that same weekend! So on Saturday morning, we headed out to the streets with our flags and scarves to cheer on the colorful and beautiful people passing by.
The Parade was just a week after the unfathomable, tragic shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando in which 49 people were killed. Our family was still reeling from that heinous act of hatred that night. Our concern for the safety of our beloved dear ones was constantly on our minds. Jim and I even felt a little nervous attending the parade. I suggested that we text our family to let them know we were there…. just in case.
Immediately we received a call from our daughter.
“Well, I guess I have to tell you that I am here, too. I am marching in the parade!”
She had planned to tell us after the parade so we wouldn’t worry. She was marching with other Lutherans in support of LGTBQ+ equality. We all laughed, although mine was a nervous laughter. Relief- but also joy that we didn’t let our fears stop us, our pride for our marching daughter- flooded over us at the end of the morning.
After that, our family talked about the need for us to keep doing what we believe is right, and to keep standing up for those who need us to do so. We agreed that if anything happened to any of us, we would understand the need to carry on, trusting that our dear one was doing exactly what any of us were meant to do.
This is easier said than done, isn’t it? My stomach hurts to even write about the possibility. My fear is not so much for myself, but for my cherished husband, children, and especially all of our LGTBQ+ family and friends. And my risks are SO insignificant compared to the ones my gay loved ones and others face all the time.
The fear is real. One friend had his head pounded against a concrete pavement. One was kicked out of his home. Others have had their cars egged. One simply had an equality bumper sticker on her car and at times faced road rage. Most of them have been cursed by passers-by, just for being who they are.
We have come so far, but please know we have a long way to go. My blogs this week have taken a long time to publish. Not because I had trouble writing them, but because I was afraid to put myself out there. I have already had a few angry reactions and have even lost one friend. Minor things, truly, but they sting.
This is when I think of Jesus. Jesus, who stood for what was right, who spoke for and helped and healed the marginalized, who went to his death in defense of love. Jesus, who calls us to also love and serve one another. Jesus, who tells us time and time again, “Do not fear.”
The truth is, if we let fear keep us from living, we never will have lived, will we? If we allow fear to keep us from doing the right thing, those who evoke those fears will have succeeded. Whatever you may be passionate about, whether it is an issue of justice or a matter of your heart, I hope that you won’t let fear stop you from being who God is calling you to be, to do what God is calling you to do. The world needs you. We need you.
So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
I hope this week has blessed you. If you are reading this, know you are in my prayers. Thanks for reading this week.
A Letter of Encouragement
Thursday
Dear LGTBQ+ Friends,
You are not alone.
There are many of us who love you, support you, and embrace you exactly as you are and because of who you are. But fear has kept us from publicly supporting you- for we have seen the hatred, the signs, the attacks, the exclusions. We have heard your painful stories. We have read the news articles. We remain silent because we want to protect you- and to protect ourselves.
But this silence and secrecy are exactly what those who do not understand want us to do. Our silence keeps things as they are. And so today I am adding one more voice, my voice of support, that represents many others who have quietly confided their support with me. This is a letter of encouragement and friendship and love. I hope you are blessed.
You are beloved.
You are beloved by God and by so many of us, not in spite of your orientation or gender, but including your orientation, sexuality, gender, and understanding. You are loved for who you are, for you ARE whom God created you to be.
St. Therese of Lisieux, a beloved saint, saw herself as the “little flower of Jesus” who understood how she could give glory to God simply by living as her beautiful, unique, humble self among the others flowers in God’s garden. She praised God by fully being whom God created her to be. If only all of us could follow her example! What a glorious garden- full of colorful variety- we could create, pleasing and blessing God.
A friend once told me that she liked gay people but then added, “I just wish they weren’t gay.” I thought of my loved ones and how I would not wish to change anything about them. What makes us who we are includes everything we are- physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, culturally; our experiences, religions, teachings, orientations, understandings, beliefs. We all are the entire package! I would not wish to miss the relationships I have enjoyed as I learned and grew through my dear ones’ beautiful spirits, deep souls, joyful creativity, enlightened spirituality, crazy humor, and insightful wisdom.
I only wish I would have said all this aloud.
You are not sinful when you live out your true orientation or sexual identity.
I am not a Biblical scholar. (Then again, can anyone truly comprehend and fully understand this living Word?) But I have studied, listened, pondered and discerned what the Bible tells me- and especially what Jesus tells me- about sexual orientation and living in our true identity. Everything I have learned shows me that living as an LGTBQ+ person is not sinful.
For example, I learned that the rules listed in Leviticus were written by Pharisaic rulers as a “holiness code” to keep the Jewish people separate and pure as God’s chosen ones during the Babylonian Exile. Looking through the book of Leviticus, one will find a number of rules regarding diet, Sabbath-keeping, and religious rituals that most of us no longer keep. Tucked among them are rules about sexual relations. The holiness code has a separate purpose from the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments were given to show us how to love God and love one another, while the holiness codes were intended to keep a culture separate and intact. These rules were also written with a very limited knowledge of sexual orientation or identity at that time. (If anyone would like some resources on this topic, let me know.)*
More significantly, Jesus then showed us how to truly live as children of God. He refrained from adhering to Old Testament rules whenever they interfered with loving and caring for one another. For example, he healed the sick and gathered grain for his disciples to eat even though it was the Sabbath. In this, he showed us how we miss the intent of the law when we focus on obeying outdated and stringent rules instead of living in love. He summed up “all the law and the prophets” by giving us the two greatest commandments: Love God. Love one another.
Jesus seems to be showing me that it isn’t about rule keeping but about the love intended by the rules.
So when we live in love and humble service to others, whether as individuals or as partners, we are honoring and loving God, too. When we hurt one another, or when we are unkind or unloving, we are being sinful. This is true for all of us, no matter our orientation or gender.
I hope you are encouraged today.
This letter is to simply let you know that I am one of many who are with you and support you. I hope you know and experience this God who loves you completely, too. I hope you don’t let the way religion has distorted God to ever keep you from experiencing God’s true love and work in your life. God has made you beautifully and God wants to help you, love you, and fill you with all joy and hope.
I hope you feel a little less alone today. Please know how much you are loved by God- and by those of us who wish we would have spoken sooner.
Your Friend,
Karen đ
*A book I recently found very helpful and encouraging is Torn, by Justin Lee.
Simply Soul Searching 