Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Let God’s Love Be Conspicuous…
(Today I had the privilege of sharing a sermon message at St. John UMC. I offer the message to you now as a reflection for the new year.)
In recent years, these last few days of the year have become treasured times for me. We can still savor the joys of Christmas, as it lingers without the rush of preparations and holiday parties. I like reading by the Christmas tree, eating the leftover treats, and slowing my pace for a few days. And as the New Year approaches, I also like to reflect on the past year- and then to anticipate the new one.
These days offer sort of what we call a liminal space; they are like a threshold between two rooms- as we stop to pause between what was… and what is yet to come.
When I look back over the year that has passed, I always find many reasons to celebrate; I remember lots of joys and even some small victories; I recall wonderful moments of blessing and some surprising ways that God has worked in my life. And as you might remember, I see each year as another special gift, a bonus year of life.
But, looking back can bring sadness or disappointment, too. I grieve for difficult circumstances, or losses that seemed unbearable at the time. I regret that I didn’t reach some goals I had set or accomplish all of the plans I had made. I cringe at the mistakes and missteps I made along the way, when I let my selfish will override God’s perfect will. I recall times when I didn’t trust, when I didn’t remain patient, when I didn’t seek understanding, or when I didn’t react with a loving heart…
Each year presents us with a mixture of blessing and loss, rejoicing and regretting, joys and sorrows, doesn’t it?
So our celebration of Christmas comes at the perfect time. In this threshold of the holiday season, these days between the old year and the new, we can rejoice that Jesus, God’s gift of perfect love, has come to live among us and within us even now! When we pause in this liminal space, this threshold between two years, we can see that it is glowing with the love of Christ given to us at Christmastime.
Because of Christmas, we can understand that all of the joys and blessings of 2018 have generously come from God.
Because of Christmas, we can be relieved that our mistakes and regrets of 2018 have been mercifully removed and forgiven by God.
Because of Christmas, we can recognize that all of our trials and sorrows of 2018 are being tenderly healed by God.
Because of Christmas, we can anticipate 2019 with all the joy, hope, peace and love that freely flows from God.
Now let’s look ahead to that new room, that new year that is before us. As we make new year resolutions, we might ask ourselves, “How will we live as followers of Christ in 2019? How will we live with the joy, hope, peace and love of God in our souls?”
Earlier this year, Kyle (our youth director) gave a sermon message that has really stuck with me. At the end of our worship time, he blessed us with the words, “Let God’s love be conspicuous in our lives.” The word, conspicuous means to be obvious, noticeable, striking, or visible. This has had me wondering- how might we live so that people will visibly and obviously – conspicuously- see God’s love in 2019?
It seems that (our reading for today) Colossians 3:12-17 gives us the perfect answers.
12. As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved…
Paul describes the Colossians as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved. We can claim this description is for ourselves, too. Wouldn’t this be a beautiful way to begin each day in 2019?
Through the grace of God alone, we can awaken each morning with the understanding that we are chosen, holy, and dearly loved by God. No, we are not perfect or sinless. God still calls us holy and beloved because God is God, and through Christ, we are shown just how much God loves us as God’s children. Just think how we might live this new year differently if we see ourselves as such, as God’s holy and beloved people. If we center ourselves on that love, if we know at the core of our being that yes, we are holy and beloved, we may find that we can more readily live as God’s love in the world. We center in God’s love, and we move out from there to share that love with others.
12b. …clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
If God’s love is to be conspicuous, we are to become less conspicuous! God’s love is not made conspicuous by clothing ourselves with any physical adornments. We may wear a cross, or we may have a Bible verse bumper sticker, or we may carry a Bible with us. And these are ways we might show that we love God, but they do not show God’s love itself. God’s love does not need our personal image in any way. With the precious knowledge that we ARE beloved and holy, we no longer consider our own image, but we actually turn our attention away from ourselves and onto God and others.
These words- compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience- all speak to us of putting others before us. They instruct us to set our egos aside in order to make God’s love readily visible. We trade our selfishness for compassion, our criticism for kindness, our pride for humility, our power for meekness, and our willfulness for patience. We become a kind and gentle presence that sees God and others as first and important. People see less of us, because we are pouring love and attention onto them. We become less… and God’s love becomes more.
13. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
If God’s love is to be conspicuous, and if we are God’s holy and beloved people, we are to live as such, together. And so we must bear with one another. Bearing with one another means we all need to put up with one another- our flaws, our quirks, and our unique ways (Jim and I choose to call our flaws “adorable”). We are also to bear one another’s burdens. We are in this together. And in those times when one of us hurts another, we must forgive, because we know how much we have been forgiven. This Body of Christ, St. John UMC, is made up of a wide variety of people, with different gifts and spirits and attitudes. And every single one of us is needed here.
We as the people of St. John will make God’s love conspicuous- especially to those who do not yet know of this love- by how we live and serve together in this faith community. If people witness the love and care we have for one another, if they notice that no one is gossiping or complaining about another, if they see us listening and encouraging and serving together, and especially if we welcome them to join us, they will know: “These people must love God- see how they love each other!”
14. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
There is a definition of the word, integrity that I really appreciate. Merriam Webster’s one definition of integrity is: the quality or state of being complete or undivided. As God’s holy and beloved ones, our integrity would be complete and undivided love. Totally and consistently throughout our being. Paul says, “Above all, clothe yourselves with LOVE.” Paul invites us to have this integrity, this complete love of God, inside and out. Our integrity as beloved children of God becomes our loving way of living. Love binds everything together in perfect harmony, or perfect integrity. We will walk as God’s love- within us, through us, and over us.
15. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.
Peace and thankfulness go hand in hand. When we fully trust that God has us, that God loves us completely, we are able to see ALL of life as gift. When we surrender our lives to the God who loves us more than we love ourselves, we have the peace of God even during the trials and the challenges that come our way. In this peace, we find that we can be grateful. On the other hand, dear Grandpa Bob always said, “If you are thankful every day, you will have a happy life.” We can find a reason to be thankful in spite of our circumstances, because we have God, who will heal, comfort, redeem, and restore. In being thankful, we discover we also have peace and even joy.
16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
We do not do faith alone. We need one another- for study, worship, mentoring, and serving together. There are times when Jim and I worship at another church when we are traveling. The service may be beautiful. But it is not the same. We need relationships, we need to live and serve in a faith community in order for our worship to thrive. We need to come together in forgiveness and joy, we need to share a meal together, we need to stand with one another in praise, we need to pray for one another, and we need to love and serve our God by loving and serving one another.
On Christmas Eve, Pastor Michael reminded us that God used inconspicuous people, places, and times to bring forth an incredible gift, the gift of Jesus. God does this still today. God uses humble people who long to serve, with our small acts of kindness, with our trusting obedience borne out of love, to create incredible goodness. We may never be a missionary in a foreign country, or a nationally recognized evangelical speaker, or a well-known Christian author. But we are to do something. If God’s love is to be conspicuous in our lives, we are to do what we can.
And verse 17 tells us how to do so.
17. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
In this new year, may we all make God’s love conspicuous, whatever we do.
An Unprepared Advent #5: And Still He Comes
Life has been rich and full and busy- with new ministries, a new granddaughter on the way, visits to Toledo and Little Mountain, working long and full days, attending and hosting seasonal events, and preparing for Christmas. All of these have been wonderful blessings, things we are delighted to have done. But I have missed my usual Advent traditions of writing daily blogs, sending Christmas letters, and even walking and reflecting each morning. I hurriedly baked cookies yesterday- and my haste was evident in the results. Christmas is here, and I feel so “Unprepared,” which seems to be my daily theme for Advent this year.
On Sunday morning, I was sitting next to my friend, Elaina, and as we waited for the worship service to begin, we were discussing how we weren’t feeling ready for Christmas at all. We were still scrambling to get everything prepared, and our souls were feeling “scrambled,” too.
But then… our talented and uplifting music team began our worship with “Oh Come, All Ye Faithful” and our voices joined in with glorious celebration. My eyes filled with tears, my soul warmed and softened, and my voice sang out with deep gratitude and joy. I turned to Elaina, and her surprised delight was obvious, too. No, we weren’t ready. But ready or not, Jesus was coming anyway!
We can be totally Unprepared. Still, Jesus comes.
Love has come, Love still comes, Love always comes, to our broken or busy or burdened hearts.
So come now, one and all. Come- let us adore Him!
Happy holidays, dear ones.
And the Darkness Shall Not Overcome It (An Unprepared Advent #4)
In his devotional book, Preparing for Christmas, Richard Rohr writes,
“The darkness will never totally go away… the darkness isn’t going to disappear, but as John’s Gospel says, the light shines on inside of the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it… Our Christian wisdom is to name the darkness as darkness, and the Light as light, and to learn how to live and work in the Light so that the darkness does not overcome us.”
I needed to read Richard’s words. In these days of political, social and religious division, the ongoing tragedies of poverty, hunger and illness, and the hatred, oppression and injustice that still impact too many people, I could easily despair. The darkness of these troubles in the world- and my helplessness amid these troubles- frustrate, grieve and overwhelm me at times.
Understanding that the darkness always has been- and always will be- actually comforts and relieves me. Richard’s words tell me that I don’t need to take on the entire world. No one has ever been able to turn the world into a giant sphere of love on which people share and care for the earth and one another. Nor will I. But this does not mean that I shouldn’t do what I can. Instead, I can refrain from saying with a helpless shrug of my shoulders, “If only I could…” and begin saying with a determined and willing spirit, “Here’s what I can do…”
The light shines on inside of the darkness…
We are called to walk in and through the darkness. We cannot turn our heads, or deny the problems because they make us uncomfortable, or believe our efforts would be futile and just give up. We are called to walk with and serve those in need; to stand up against injustice and to speak for the oppressed; to work for understanding and unity as peaceful people in times of great division.
…and the darkness will not overcome it.
We are called to keep shining with the light of God’s love, while not letting the darkness overcome us. We cannot let our lights dim in the darkness or flicker in the bleakness of the troubles of the world. We cannot let the negativity, gossip, anger, hatred, neglect, despair or apathy of those around us to become our own. When we bear the Light of Christ, especially while we are walking in and through the darkness, the Light will shine more brightly for others to see.
May we never believe that the darkness is so great that we stop being that one small light of love. In John 16:33, Jesus said to his disciples, “I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble.” We WILL have trouble! But he then continues, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” We WILL NOT be alone!
Richard Rohr adds, “We must wait and work with hope inside of the darkness- while never doubting the light that God always is- and that we are, too. That is the narrow birth canal of God into the world- through the darkness and into an ever greater light.”
In this northern hemisphere, this is the season when the night settles in earlier each day. Driving home in the darkness, I am filled with joy by the Christmas displays and lights that brighten my route. Most days I am happy and content. But even on the days when I am weary, discouraged, anxious or overwhelmed, the festive and colorful displays remind me of the goodness of Christmas… of God’s love shown to us in Jesus… of the Light that will always shine, even in the deepest darkness. THIS is the Light of love, hope, joy and peace that we can carry to brighten the lives of others.
Keep shining, dear friends, keep shining.
Excerpts: Rohr, Richard. Preparing for Christmas. St. Anthony Messenger Press. Cincinnati OH 2008
An Unprepared Advent #3: In “A Different Light”
As I waited in the service area for an oil change, a young mom with her two small sons caught my attention. She was well-prepared for their time of waiting, and she offered them small toys, books, patient answers, and a loving lap on which to sit. The boys were enjoying themselves so much that when their car was ready they didn’t want to leave- even with the promise of lunch at their favorite restaurant! This young family helped me see “waiting time” in a different light…
It was late autumn and I was lamenting the fact that our pin oak trees were clinging to their leaves for far too long. The street sweepers would soon be making one last clean-up for the season! I wanted the leaves down and gone, so that our lawn would look nice for the winter. But one day I was chatting with my neighbor, Kathy, and she reverently said, “I just love these pin oak trees. They add such a lovely brown color to the winter whites and grays.” Kathy helped me see the beauty of those stubborn trees, and now I appreciate pin oaks in a different light…
My daughter Jennie was caring for a precious and adorable five year old, Cara, while her parents played a softball game on a hot summer day. Little Cara needed to use the portable toilet set up at the edge of the field. Jennie waited outside, very concerned. The booth was terribly hot and foul-smelling from the summer heat, and Jennie could imagine how uncomfortable she could be! But from inside the booth, Cara’s soft little voice was heard: “It’s so warm and cozy in here!” Dear Cara helped us see even this situation in a different light!
One of the best gifts of our faith is that Jesus has shown us how to view life in a different light: the light of God’s love. When God’s love illuminates our lives, we are enabled to see the beauty and the good in all circumstances. In times of trial, we can feel God’s strength. In times of grief, we can know God’s comfort. In times of despair, we can trust God’s help. In times of happiness, we can share God’s pleasure. In times of abundance, we can appreciate God’s generosity.
Journeying through life with the “different light” of God’s love, we are able to see the deeper meanings, the significant lessons, the inner beauties, and the hidden jewels within. Living in this different light of faith is a precious gift in which we find our peace, hope, joy and love.
Perhaps that not only is our best gift, but also our best witness for others… living as people of the Light. Seeing life as an incredible experience of God’s pure love. Pointing out the beauty or noticing the gifts that may be hidden under “normal” light conditions. Understanding how our lives- with all of the trials, joys, challenges and beauty that we experience- have significance and deeper meaning. Revealing the inner good and beauty to those who cannot see it in themselves. Embracing everything with a heart of gratitude.
Brightening the lives of others as people who walk in the light of God’s love.
The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who lived in a land of deep darkness—
on them light has shined.
(Isaiah 9:2)
An Unprepared Advent #2: When There are No Alternate Routes
After living in Toledo for almost 60 years, I was accustomed to having alternate routes available when I drive. The landscape is flat in northwest Ohio, so most of the roadways are organized into neat, square grids. Detours are merely a matter of turning a few times and taking a new route in the same general direction. I could navigate my way around most of the obstacles I encountered.
Here in Hurricane, WV, there aren’t as many alternate routes. We live among the hills and creeks, which necessitate winding roadways with few easily available exits. When I encounter trouble on the road, I’m unable to navigate around it. At times I must creep along slowly with many other drivers as we head to our destinations. Other times I must stop to wait until the road becomes clear again. There are even times when I need to turn around and go back the way I came.
I’ve had a few insights about myself as I travel these roads. The first is that I must use the restroom before leaving home! 😀 More importantly, I have noticed that I can become obsessed with reaching my destinations (or achieving my goals). With my prepared plans in place, I become determined to follow and fulfill them as quickly and efficiently as possible, so that I can soon be on my way to my next pursuit. I become quite frustrated when these plans are interrupted- when my forward progress slows, or moves in fits and spurts, or idles, or sometimes even backtracks.
As always, God is blessing me with the lack of alternate routes. The curving roads among the hills have become significant reminders that I am not in control; that I cannot always take the easy way home. I am learning to respect the limits and extra time that my routes dictate for me. I am noticing some precious gifts that these limits offer, such as learning to surrender, to slow my pace, to accept what is, and to make the most of these idle times.
What if our road of life isn’t really meant for moving forward, going the distance, or reaching our goals? What if our road of life is meant to be traveled with a sense of adventure, as we wander and discover more about ourselves and God along the way? When our pace is dictated by our circumstances and lack of options, perhaps that too, is all goodness, all gift. Perhaps our “progress” is not whether we are swiftly and efficiently moving forward, but whether we are patiently and readily remaining on the only route we have; all the while trusting that God is using this route to perfect us- according to God’s perfect pace and direction. Not ours.
Hurricane Creek Road is one of those ‘long and winding roads’ I often drive. This week as I meandered down this road, I marveled at the frosty mist rising from the creek. I came around a bend and was surprised to see the sun cresting over the hilltops. Houses were nestled in the valleys, smoke circling up from chimneys. The barren trees added a beautiful gray background to the golden carpet of their discarded autumn leaves. Christmas music was softly playing. My heart was totally filled with joy and awe at the scene surrounding me. The hills were enveloping me, inviting me to snuggle in with them, into the heart of my new home.
How could I not rejoice?
You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11
An Unprepared Advent
Each year around the first part of October, I eagerly begin considering ideas and themes for my Advent devotional blogs. I love to write devotions, especially in Advent! This creative, prayerful practice helps prepare my heart for Christmas and the Spirit of Christ. Writing daily Advent devotions has become my cherished tradition, one that blesses me richly.
But this year, I struggled. There were many hours when I sat before my computer, trying out “templates” for different themes. Each time I would soon become stymied in the writing of them. I became frustrated, even desperate at times. What would be my theme that would connect all 25 devotions? I have previously used alphabetical words, lectionary readings, Advent themes of hope, love, joy and peace, and last year, the theme of Light. I tried all of these- and even some new ideas- but soon felt both empty and overwhelmed.
A few weeks ago I tried again. Nothing. In fact, I thought to myself, “I’ve got nothing.” I sadly and tearfully surrendered. I decided to forgo my writing tradition for this season.
And then it happened. When I fully realized, “I’ve got nothing,” my heart opened to God saying, “But I have everything.” A tremendous peace came over me. I was free of the burden. I wasn’t supposed to ask God to bless the writing of MY theme, but to ask God to bless my writing of GOD’S theme. I was to stop asking God to help me create and instead, ask God to help me notice what God is creating- within me and around me. After all, isn’t God the best, true Creator?
This year, I plan to have “An Unprepared Advent.” My hope is to release any of my themes, ideas, or goals for my Advent experience, and to allow God to reveal what God would like to show me. I hope to live this Advent with an unprepared heart, simply observing what God might reveal each day. I will not concern myself with daily writings, but write when the Spirit moves me.
When I consider the Bible stories surrounding the birth of Jesus, it becomes obvious to me that no one was prepared! Surely Mary never dreamed that she would carry God’s son. Surely Joseph never dreamed that he would encounter an angel of encouragement. Surely the shepherds were surprised and astonished at the angels’ news. Surely the inn keeper would have prepared a room if he had known God’s son was coming. I imagine even the animals were quite surprised. Jesus birth came at a very inconvenient and unexpected time for all involved, but God’s prepared plan was completed in God’s perfect timing.
Advent has been a time for us to prepare our hearts to receive the Christ child once again. But maybe we should totally “unprepare” our hearts! Let’s open ourselves to be surprised. Let’s pay attention to what God is doing, with less attention to our own agendas. Let’s open ourselves for God to freely (and surprisingly?) work within us.
I will forever cherish that moment. In fully realizing, “I’ve got nothing,” my heart was emptied and opened for God’s everything to pour in. That painful surrender led to incredible freedom. Knowing that God has everything I need gives me hope for all of Advent- and all of my days.
I will thank God for this when I light the candle of hope on Sunday evening.
Advent blessings, everyone.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NRSV)
Those “Unknown” Sins
I dropped a tissue on my walk the other day. (Exciting news, right??) As usual, noticing the dropped tissue began my new contemplation… 🙂
Often on my daily walks I will pick up trash along the way. I figure that even if I only pick up one piece a day, at the end of the month I will have cleared thirty. I love caring for the earth. I love making my path cleaner and more beautiful. So you can imagine my dismay when I was returning on the path I had walked earlier- and found one of MY tissues on the ground! It must have fallen out of my pocket when I had reached in for another.
I was reminded of this confession from The Book of Common Prayer:
Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father;
in your compassion forgive us our sins,
known and unknown,
things done and left undone;
and so uphold us by your Spirit
that we may live and serve you in newness of life,
to the honor and glory of your Name…
Most of my sins seem quite obvious to me! But maybe our unknown sins are like that tissue I dropped.
Of course I don’t believe that accidentally dropping a tissue is a sin, as unsightly as it is. But the tissue reminds me that I can feel self-righteous about being quick to notice and fix another’s ‘trash’ while not seeing my own. Or that I can feel judgmental about someone else’s ‘litter’ without knowing how or why it happened. Or that I can have a feeling of superiority (I would never litter!) when I am so imperfect- especially in ways I might not see.
We are all walking this path together. Each of us has our own trash- the stuff that isn’t pleasing or beautiful. Once in a while that trash comes out, whether known or unknown to us. The tissue is a reminder that we are all called to make this world a more beautiful place. But to keep bearing in mind that there will be times when we too will need someone to clean up after us, whether we know it or not! Perhaps in doing so, we could all begin to walk this path with a little more grace, a little more understanding, and a greater spirit of teamwork. Walking in love and cleaning up messes together, our journey can become a way of living and serving God “in newness of life.”
Where the Light Shines Through
I’m willing to share my filthy storm door with you because it speaks to my soul today! As you can see in the photo, the window glass looks fine where the sun isn’t directly shining on it. But where the light streams through, you can see all the dirt and fingerprints! Each morning when the sun beams through the door, I tell myself that I have some cleaning to do- until the sun moves on and the door looks fine once again.
Today the storm door is telling me that I need to hold myself up to the light of God’s love and ask God to reveal those things I need to remedy. Sometimes the dirt and grime of sin aren’t obvious unless they are exposed to this light. Whatever I need to clean up or make right, I must do- and not just hope that these issues won’t be noticed under “normal” conditions.
But there is another message.
What I find challenging about window cleaning is that I have to repeat the process several times. I wash the window thoroughly and vigorously until I believe the window is clean. But when the sun shines upon it I still see a few smudges and residue left behind. So I clean again, and then wait for the sunlight to reveal what I’ve missed. Often times it takes me several tries to get a window completely clean. Wash. Watch. Repeat.
The same thing happens when God reveals something I need to do. Perhaps I am to ask for forgiveness. Or seek reconciliation. Or extend kindness and mercy. Or do a sacrificial service for another. And I find that in doing what God asks, I find peace and joy beyond my understanding. But more often than not, a lingering residue remains. A small part of me- the petty part of me- is still smudged and dirty, unpleasing to God… and unsettling for me.
For example, when God moves me to do something gracious and kind, I feel the joy of sharing God’s love. But a smudge of self-righteousness may then appear. When I have sinned and God hears my plea for forgiveness, I feel relieved and cleansed. But often some residue of guilt remains. When God invites me to serve sacrificially, I find peace and camaraderie with Jesus. But a smear of resentment also wants to come along. When God leads me to mercifully forgive someone, I feel obedient and unburdened. But the blemish of a slowly-healing wound may still linger.
I am like the dirty window glass. I must keep placing myself into the light of God. As God reveals the filth I need to clean up, I will get to work. With God’s help, I can begin the major task of the initial cleaning. Then I will come again before God’s light of love, and God will point out, “Well, Karen, you have started well, but you left a little smudge…” Wash. Watch. Repeat.
God’s gift to us in this process is that the revealing light shining on us IS a light of pure love. The awareness of our flaws may be painful and humbling. The cleansing process may be arduous and repetitive. But at each step we are placing ourselves into the holy splendor of the light of God’s love! God’s cleansing light is a warm, gentle, bright, beautiful, illuminating light of LOVE. What could be better? Where else could we find such joy?
God is light and in him there is no darkness at all… If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and… Jesus cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:5,7-9 NRSV)
God, Moses, Me- and a Little Mirth
Moses has been in my thoughts in recent days. Last week, I was honored and delighted to be called to serve in a part-time ministry position at St. John United Methodist, where I have found my church home here in West Virginia. This past year, like Moses, I had a few “burning bush” moments that eventually led me to this call.
I had been invited to serve as a Sunday school and small group coordinator back in January. Serving in this way refueled my excitement and passion to serve. My plans had been to write a memoir about God’s love for me during my time with cancer, but I began to wonder if I was meant to set this project aside for the present time and serve in ministry once again. I have been given a second chance to live, and I want to do all I can with my life and gifts in gratitude to God.
Then, this past Sunday, Pastor Michael’s sermon message clearly brought this home to me. Using the passage from James 4:13-17, he invited us to consider how- when we realize that life is short and uncertain, when we see that all of life is a gift from God- we are inspired to embrace the abundant life by humbly and obediently sharing our gifts to further God’s kingdom. All of these burning bush moments led me to this new ministry in which I am blessed to serve.
But shortly after I received this call, I attended a meeting where it became apparent that I have MUCH to learn. I don’t know the people and ministries as well as others do. I don’t know all the ways and policies of the Methodist church. I wasn’t aware of all the needs I would be asked to address. I came away from the meeting feeling quite inadequate and overwhelmed. So once again my thoughts turned to Moses during my morning walk yesterday.
I remembered the times when Moses felt inadequate. God always provided. He told God his doubts about his speaking abilities and God supplied Aaron to speak for him. When the Israelites complained to Moses about their hunger, God supplied quail and manna. As long as Moses held up his hands (with the staff of God) while the Israelites were in battle, they were successful. When Moses became weary, Aaron and Hur came to support his arms for him. All along the wilderness way, God provided, sustained and helped Moses and his people.
It came to me that I already have some “Aarons” in my life. I have a supportive and caring pastor and staff. I have dear friends at St. John who have already offered to help me. I have my loving husband who encourages and helps me in countless ways. Most of all, I have my loving God who will provide and sustain me, too.
We receive a gift in painfully recognizing our inadequacies: we understand how deeply and totally we need God. I know that I will need to entrust myself and my ministry to God, every day. I know I will need to count on others and even call on others to help. I know that ministry is NOT about me or my abilities, but how selflessly, humbly and faithfully I can help ALL of us serve God and one another in loving community.
I walked on, feeling God and Moses working on my heart and soul- blessing me, comforting me, and encouraging me. And then I turned the corner and saw this on the back of a car:
Isn’t God SO good- and funny?! I laughed all the way home. Thank you, God.
And Moses built an altar and called it, The Lord is my banner. (Exodus 17:15)
“Wrong” Places but Best Possibilities
If someone were to ask me to find the sun, I would immediately look to the sky. But this puddle reminds me that the sun can also be found in unexpected places, such as in the puddle’s reflection. When we are searching for something, how often do we only look in the usual, expected places? The same idea may apply when we are seeking answers or guidance. How often do we only choose from the most obvious or logical options while ignoring a subtler but perhaps better choice?
Earlier this week Jim and I were discussing our discernment and God’s call on our lives. I remembered a few years ago when we were visiting our daughter Jennie and her family in Teays Valley, WV. As we drove around the area, both Jim and I verbally agreed that “it was a nice place, but we wouldn’t want to live here.”
We moved to the Teays Valley area just over a year later!
We were amused to notice that several times our calls seemed to extend directly from our words, “I would never…” or “I wouldn’t want to…” such as our move to West Virginia. We laughed as we recalled those instances in our lives when we ended up doing what we least expected- especially after declaring that we would NOT want to do that very thing!
Certainly I do not have all the answers about discerning God’s will or call in our lives. Sometimes I believe that God has a specific plan in mind for each of us, and if we remain open to the Spirit- listening and watching for God’s movement- God will guide us to the right places. Other times I believe that God’s will for all of us is simply to love and serve God and our neighbor, and we can do that in any number of ways.
But maybe there are those times when the God who calls us is the God who changes our direction and invites us to discover new, subtle, surprising and unexpected places- those possibilities we think we’d rather not explore. I wonder how often I have ignored a call from God; never entertaining the idea because “I would never…” What have I missed because I was unwilling to think or dream in new ways?
What if in this moment one of our “nevers” is actually an invitation from God? How would our lives change if we stopped claiming our “nevers” and began asking God, “What possibilities do YOU have in mind?” Just for today, let’s name one “I would never…” and place that as an offering before God. Let’s give God the freedom to choose what we are to do. Allowing God to lead us into our ‘wrong’ places, we will discover that they are actually our best possibilities, for they become the perfect settings for God to keep perfecting us.
