Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Saturday, March 4th- Hospitality
TEA PARTY!
Hebrews 13:2 (NRSV)
2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.
When I think of hospitality, I think of my dear childhood neighbor, Ila. She was a quiet, grandmotherly type who always had a bowl of delicious hard candies ready for us; sweet treats that made us smile! Her porch was enclosed with windows, and the sunlight warmed us as we read a variety of children’s books. I never felt I was intruding, but could pass the time contentedly. Hospitality is a wonderful demonstration of love for others.
Our Bible passage instructs us to show hospitality to strangers. But let’s consider “strangers” in a new way for today’s Lenten discipline of hospitality. When is the last time you welcomed Jesus into your presence? When is the last time you shared with and listened to him? Has it been so long that Jesus may feel like a stranger to you? Or maybe you have even been so busy or preoccupied that YOU feel like a stranger to you! It’s time to reunite two dear companions: Jesus and you.
Today, let’s invite Jesus into our hearts and thoughts, to spend time together sharing and listening. Let’s simply enjoy our mutual companionship as we go through our day together.
The tea bag will remind us to do those things that we would do for any guests- invite Jesus in, perhaps apologize for not being completely ready or prepared, encourage him to make himself comfortable, ask how we may best serve him, and then enjoy our time together, talking and listening. If you have time- and would enjoy doing so- you could even have a tea party or coffee time with a place set for Jesus!
Dear Jesus,
Today I want to spend time together, just you and I. I know you are always with me, but today I want to be more aware of your presence. Please forgive what I lack, but make yourself comfortable- let me know what you need! I have so much to tell you. What do you want to tell me? I’m listening. Thank you for your loving companionship, today and always. Come on in. Amen.
Friday, March 3rd- Acceptance
OH, THOSE THORNS!
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NRSV)
7 …therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. 8 Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, 9 but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
I know that our God of infinite love does not need to inflict “thorns” on us; this imperfect world provides more than enough. We have imperfect bodies, imperfect temperaments, imperfect relationships, imperfect weather, imperfect societies, and more- all of which increase our odds of having a thorn or two!
Paul never says specifically what his thorn was, but I think we can relate to this thorn in our lives. Our thorn can be anything that causes our unease or discomfort:
~An illness (or the fear that it will return) in ourselves or a loved one
~A coworker, colleague, or family member who irritates or mistreats us
~A habit that hounds us, but is so difficult to break
~A loss of our career, possessions, or lifestyle
~An ache or pain from aging or illness
~A death of a dear one
~An emotional or mental struggle of anxiety, fear, or depression
~An ending of a marriage or relationship
Life WILL have thorns. But we are blessed to know that God can make good come from everything. If God can even redeem Jesus’ horrendous suffering and death in a glorious resurrection, can’t God redeem any of our thorny trials?
The secret to our discipline of acceptance is to know in our hearts that God’s good doesn’t always follow our plan. But God’s good is even better than anything we could hope for ourselves! Because of our limited perspectives, we may not always see the potential for good in our thorns. (The oyster makes beautiful pearls from irritating grains of sand. But does the oyster see the beauty in them?) When we are able to truly, sincerely entrust our thorny selves to God, God can more readily work through us to make good come from them.
And so our Lenten discipline of acceptance can be practiced, not with an attitude of despair in resignation, but with an attitude of hope in potential!
For our discipline today, let’s carry a safety pin with us, as its point can remind us of a thorn. Take a moment to consider: What is the one “thorn” in your life that you would love to have God remove? How would the removal of this thorn make your life easier? This is your safety pin/ thorn for today. Each time we see or feel the pin, let’s acknowledge our thorns with hopeful acceptance. Let’s entrust our thorns and burdens to God, while asking God to freely work in us through them, to redeem our thorns for good… God’s good.
Redeeming God,
You have shown me your power to redeem all of my thorny burdens! Thank you for the gift of hope you show me through Biblical stories and promises, through my own experiences, and especially through Jesus’ resurrection. As I consider my personal thorn, I may not be able to pray with gratitude, but I will pray with the hopeful acceptance only you can provide. Help me to entrust my thorn into your redeeming love. Help me to remain open to your work within me. Help me, despite my imperfections, to enable you to redeem my thorn for your perfect good. Amen.
Thursday, March 2nd- Gentleness
Philippians 4:5
Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.
In his letter to the Philippians, Paul encourages all of us to “let our gentleness be known to everyone.” Have you noticed that even the word, gentleness, brings warm feelings? Gentleness includes being tender, considerate, sensitive, light, and soft; not harsh or severe. When I think of gentleness, I think of people who are soft spoken, peaceful and of good-nature… who are tender and kind to all living things… who listen with patience and acceptance… who smile understandingly… who use sensitive and soothing words. I feel reassured when I am in the company of gentle people; I feel safe in their presence.
Today, let’s practice gentleness. To be tender and considerate with our words and actions. To be sensitive and understanding of the needs of others. To look for ways to walk softly through the day. To be the soothing presence for someone who needs one. To be the balm for a troubled soul.
Paul also assures us that “the Lord is near.” What a gift! Knowing God’s presence within us will help us walk through this day in gentleness. Seeing God’s presence around us- in all living beings- will inspire us to be gentle to others.
Our tangible reminder is a cotton ball. (If you don’t have a cotton ball, you could use any item that is soft and gentle- a tissue, cloth, etc.) May our cotton ball remind us to be soft and gentle in our words and actions, so that we will serve others as a soothing presence and a tender place of refuge.
Tender God, you are my safe refuge, you are my soothing balm when the world is harsh. Thank you for your gentle, accepting love. Today, help me to be your gentleness in the world. Guide my words and actions to be sensitive, soft, comforting and peaceful. When I encounter harsh or difficult circumstances, remind me of who I am in you. Let my gentleness be known to everyone, for you ARE near. Thank you! Amen.
Ash Wednesday- Humility
“BUTTON YOUR LIP!”
Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21 (NRSV)
“Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (vs.1-4)
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. This is a day when we humbly recognize our sinfulness and remember that “to dust we shall return.” So today our gentle nudge will be to deepen in humility.
Many of us may remember being told by teachers or parents to “button our lips” and be quiet. With a twist of our fingers across our mouths, we were encouraged to stop talking! This is an appropriate practice for today, as our passage from Matthew warns us against practicing our piety before others. Today, whether we fast, begin another discipline, or do a kind deed, let’s try to refrain from telling anyone. Trust that “our Father sees in secret” and that is more than enough! For isn’t this our very reason for being? Let our prayers and awareness be for our humility, to empty ourselves of our pride.
Our tangible reminder is a button. If you don’t have one to carry with you, you are welcome to copy and paste my photo to your computer or cell phone, and then use it as a screen saver or wallpaper. May our buttons remind us to keep silent about our practices- or ourselves!
Awesome God, I am so imperfect and small,and yet you love and forgive me beyond limits. Please keep me quiet about anything that makes me prideful. Keep me mindful of Jesus and his life of obedient humility. Keep me mindful of my brokenness today. Most of all, keep me mindful of your infinite, merciful love. Thank you. Amen.
Living Lent Lightly- Disciplines for the Easily Distracted or Discouraged
Each Lent, I am inspired to change my life significantly, draw closer to Christ, and well, become as saintly as possible. I make heartfelt promises to myself and God, commit to a new way of being, and attempt to sacrifice several earthly comforts. Then, about two weeks into Lent, my inspiration wanes. Some life “obstacle” makes my commitment difficult to keep. I become weary or feel my disciplines are ineffective. I know it’s simply my lack of perseverance and my need for immediate results that cause me to falter.
This Lenten season I will be offering, “Living Lent Lightly- Disciplines for the Easily Distracted or Discouraged.” (If you recognize yourself here, we are kindred spirits!) Each day there will be a new, focused discipline for us to consider and keep for that day. There will also be a short inspirational passage with thoughts to ponder and questions to challenge us. And for those of us who are easily distracted, there will be a small, simple token to carry with us as a tactile reminder of our focus for the day. Ideally, if you would enjoy setting up a visible sacred space- on your desk, on a home altar, or even on your table- you may place your item there each day. (I will also have a photo of each item that you may use as a wallpaper or desktop screen on your phone or computer.) Do whatever works best for your lifestyle!
I am not making light of Lent, or of the life and sacrifice Jesus endured to show us the love of God. One could never live a day worthy enough to repay Jesus for all he has done! I am thinking lightly about myself. I often picture Jesus shaking his head and chuckling at me when Lent begins, when I’m setting my discipline goals in earnest. He knows me too well. He knows I will give up. It is my hope that these daily, incremental nudges may prove to be more life-changing for me, as I humbly realize how desperately I need the merciful love of Christ. And perhaps that is what Lent should do.
A New “Mess-Understanding”
There’s a puzzling attitude in our apartment complex that I’ve named, “apartment apathy.” Pet clean-up stations are conveniently scattered all around our campus, but on my morning walks I see lots of piles. Some of them are less than fifteen feet away from these stations! I once even picked up a bag with a mess in it. (Why would one go so far as to bag the mess, but not place it in a waste can?)
I have a new appreciation for the people I see cleaning up after their dogs. Their actions tell me that they care about others and that they take responsibility for the messes that have been made. I see them as concerned about the well-being of all, including me, as stewards of our complex and community.
And so I was thinking about the other messes in our lives. There are the messes of strained relationships and broken hearts… the messes of wounds caused by our lack of empathy, understanding, or compassion… the messes of impatient reactions and hastily spoken words… the messes of selfishness and pride. As people of faith, we try to avoid making “messes” as much as possible- but we are never going to be perfect. We will create our own messes in spite of good intentions.
Maybe our best loving witness is to acknowledge that we are imperfect, mess-making people of faith, and then begin cleaning up those messes! We are the caretakers of one another and of our world. One of our most visible and tangible ways of loving others is to sincerely, humbly work to restore wholeness and goodness for them, as much as possible.
But cleaning up is the difficult task, isn’t it? Messes are, well, messy. Uncomfortable. Unpleasant. Embarrassing. Humbling. We’d much rather walk away and let someone else deal with them. We might even acknowledge them (like putting them in bags) and tell God that we’re sorry, but then leave the clean-up unfinished. At times we may deny our responsibility: “I didn’t make that mess!” Or we try to justify ourselves, claiming that at least our mess isn’t as bad those other ones.
But when we actually DO the challenging work of restoration and healing, our genuine love is visibly revealed. When we take the extra steps to correct the wrongs we have done. When we restore a relationship by admitting we were wrong, asking for forgiveness, and repairing the damage. When we refrain from kicking back or seeking revenge. When we even clean up other messes we encounter, whether or not they belong to us. When we humbly work to restore our relationships or our world to their original beauty- or even better.
Mess happens. How we respond is our chance to demonstrate our love for humanity and for all of God’s creation.
I think it was my dad who once said, “Always leave a place better than you found it.” May this be our faithful work- in our homes, our communities and our world.
To God, With Love
I glimpse your bright splendor in the morning sunrise.
I calm in your surprising peace during difficult times.
I smile at your joy in the unique beauty of each flower.
I hear your reassuring voice in the stillness of the night.
I marvel at your healing touch on this weary soul.
I notice your gentle nudges that move me to action.
I relish your inspiration shared through gifted artists and musicians.
I praise your unconditional acceptance with the imperfect song of my heart.
I feel your mercy and grace with every tear of recognition of my failures.
I anticipate my future with the hope found in your promises.
I grow in trust with every experience of your unfailing, constant presence.
I humble in your magnificence as I consider the universe; my smallness within it.
I bask in the warmth of your love radiating through spouse, family, friends.
I love you.
And oh, how I know you love me…
and yet this is but a tiny revelation
of your complete and infinite love
that is still to come, forever and always.
Noticing Day: A Time of Gratitude
Since my time with cancer, I consider every day a bonus day; a day to be savored and lived abundantly. This has increased my mindfulness about daily living as well as my awareness of cherished moments. Recently I’ve noticed that many of my daily routines and habits have now become sacred rituals for me. Gratitude has made my daily living more holy and precious. Here are some of my sacred rituals I’ve noticed throughout the day. I hope these thoughts bring you joy- and also help you to discover the daily routines that may become your sacred rituals, savored with a thankful heart.
I love…
to awaken each morning by slowly stretching under warm and cozy flannel sheets
to drink a tall glass of water with lemon to be refreshed and re-hydrated each morning
to breathe in the aroma of freshly brewing coffee as we begin our day
to savor the taste of my hot coffee as it warms me and perks up my senses
to observe the peacefulness of the softly glowing candle on my desk
to open my journal to the fresh blank page that beckons me to begin
to write with any comfortable pen with smoothly flowing ink
to admire the orange glow on the trees outside my window as the sun rises
to sip my second cup of coffee with Jim as we read our daily meditation and pray
to walk outdoors and breathe in the fresh, brisk air
to listen to a variety of music on my iPod as I walk; for inspiration, comfort or motivation
to notice the steam rise from glistening, frost-covered cars in the morning sunlight
to gaze into that deep teal blue of the sky on rare clear mornings
to save the best view at the top of the hill for the last leg of my walking route
to sing under the refreshing feel of a hot shower
(or to soak in a relaxing lavender bath)
to contemplate in quiet solitude at my writing desk
to enjoy the clean smell of warm clothes from the dryer and to fold laundry into neat piles
to decorate with a few items that bring me joy, special gifts from my loved ones
to drive to the school at 2:00 each day to take my grandsons home
to see their dear faces as they head my way
to hear their chattering voices and the stories they share
to treat them to “Monday Fun-day” ice cream at the beginning of each week
to help with homework, which has become a special bonding time with each of them
to receive each text, message or call from friends and loved ones
to return to our warm apartment and to hug my Honey
to smell the delicious dinner cooking on the stove
to share conversation over sparkling water before dinner
to call my mom each evening to exchange our “I love yous” and “goodnights”
to ponder the bright, full moon (so humbling) on a clear, cold night
to don my flannel pajamas and cuddle socks before making a cup of herbal tea
to read a good book as we wind down at the end of the day
to be comforted by the rhythmic sound of our clock ticking through the night
to say “goodnight” to the love of my life, to be thankful for another day with him
to thank God for yet another bonus day before closing my eyes to sleep
Calluses and Callousness
When I began playing the guitar, my fingertips were quite sore from pressing down the strings until calluses finally developed. Although I didn’t like the way my hands felt, the calluses helped me to play without pain. After walking too many miles in ill-fitting shoes, I was also relieved when a painful blister eventually formed into a callus. Our calluses become thick, protective layers to help us do habitual tasks repeatedly. Calluses benefit us by reducing our pain, thus helping us to continue doing what we do.
But sometimes we build up calluses where they don’t belong; places where they aren’t helpful, but harmful: in our spirits or souls. We are born with tender hearts and gentle countenances, but over time these can become callused by challenging life experiences, painful wounds and hurts, taught biases and beliefs, and jaded perspectives resulting from any of them. We build up soul calluses to protect ourselves from additional pain or injury, and perhaps even from any new challenge or discovery. Our soul calluses prevent our additional pain- but may also prevent our growth and change. Our calluses cause our callousness.
I recall a precious time when I was talking with a woman who was fostering a baby girl. This little child had been so neglected that she no longer cried. The foster mom told me of her deep joy when she finally heard this tiny baby cry for the first time! The poor child’s soul had become callused because of neglect, and the foster parent had to lovingly, gently soften and restore her tender heart.
As I consider my 60 years of experiences, wounds and lessons, I hope I have gained wisdom. But what have I lost? Have I built up calluses in my soul that keep me repeatedly thinking the same ideas- or feeling the same perspectives- without questioning them? There are so many needs all around me; where am I no longer feeling pain that I should be feeling? Am I able to look at the world with wide-eyed wonder, to see the possibilities of living together in harmony, to have the courage to work for justice, equality and compassion for all? Or have I become too jaded, too self-protecting, or too fearful? Where are there calluses on my soul that prevent me from being God’s new creation- every day?
May my soul’s challenges, experiences, perspectives and wounds remain fresh and raw. Raw enough to keep me tenderhearted and compassionate. Fresh enough to keep me aware and ready to help others. Raw enough to become more vulnerable to the sufferings of others. Fresh enough for me to question my viewpoint as true or the way it has to be. And may I redirect any fresh, raw pain or insight into good and healing works, into suffering for and with humanity, and not just into new callus formation.
I’ve been hearing the words, “over-sensitive” being said quite often these days. It is my hope and prayer that they might be describing me.
“Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” ~1 Peter 3:8 (NRSV, emphasis mine)
Confessions of a Snow Snob
This is our first winter in West Virginia. A few weeks ago we had an inch or two of snow and our area schools dismissed students early. Classes were canceled the next day. Coming from Toledo where snow falls more often, I felt the school closings were quite unnecessary and overcautious.
I’m going to confess that I had all these inner thoughts of self-confident superiority… “Doesn’t anyone here know how to drive in the snow?” “Are West Virginians wimpy?” “I can’t believe they canceled school with this little amount.” “You call THIS snow?”
As I breezily drove to my daughter’s house to stay with my grandsons, the main streets were practically clear and dry. Yes, people surely overreact around here.
Then I came to the hill in my daughter’s neighborhood. The steep climb was icy and treacherous. The curves and slopes made driving on snow quite slippery and frightening. Brakes don’t work as well when one’s car is on an icy incline! By the time I arrived, I had to have my son-in-law park my car for me because I was quite stressed and shaky. I was vividly reminded that my experiences aren’t the same and also aren’t true for everyone, everywhere.
How often do we judge others because we aren’t aware of the hills they face every day? How often do we appreciate the lack of challenges we have had to face? Do we comprehend how often we simply have had an easier road to navigate?
I had considered myself a courageous, skilled, and experienced driver. I felt able to handle snowy conditions- until I faced the hill. Now I know I have many lessons yet to learn.
The first of which is humility.
Simply Soul Searching 