Simply Soul Searching

The cairn as a sacred space
in which to be thankful.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
– Melody Beattie

“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.”
– Mary Davis

Years ago, our dear cousin and friend Sharon died suddenly in her sleep at the age of 21. After months of shock and grief – for myself and for all who loved her – I began journaling my thoughts about life and God. One day I wrote, “When Sharon’s death seems unfair to me, I have to think how much more unfair it would be to have never known her.”

This was a healing moment in my grief, but also a turning point for my perspective on life. I was learning to seek the gifts that remain after loss, to experience gratitude even in heartache.

We are fully aware that this has been a difficult year. Today’s stone serves as an invitation for us to choose gratitude, to change our perspective if needed, and to begin regarding this unusual year with new awareness and appreciation. Some of the gifts of this year may be apparent right away. Some may be less obvious and will require us to actively seek and reflect. Some gifts may be not be revealed until later in life, when we see ways in which this time became the beginning of something new and good.

Here are some hidden blessing questions we might ask.

Have we learned anything new about our character through these challenging times?
What are some lessons we have learned?
Where have we noticed God’s comfort, wisdom, or peace in our lives?
Has our anxious uncertainty drawn us closer to our strong and sure God?
Have we been given new opportunities to help one another?
How do we remember with gratitude what we may have lost?
How will their gifts remain with us and continue to bless us?
Will any changes in our way of life possibly make a difference for good?
What simple blessings still abound but simply remain unnoticed?
Does the fragility of life enable us to appreciate life more?
Who has been a special blessing to us recently?
How do we see God shaping us into better people?
How might we choose to improve our way of living and being, because of and through these times?

Today, may we find gratitude for what is. May we be fully present to the moment, to one another, and to God. May we tap into our joy from within when we cannot find it elsewhere. Gifts are all around us, just waiting to be discovered. Our gratitude will bless God, while also fostering our own deeper peace and joy.

God is always good.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and do not forget all his benefits—
who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the Pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good as long as you live
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103:1-5 (NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “I place this stone as a symbol of my gratitude especially for these blessings…”

God of gracious abundance,

Your mercies and blessings are all around me, but I do not always notice them. Your peace and hope are within me, but I do not always sense them.
Your ways are perfect and good, but I do not always embrace them. Forgive me when I am unaware or unappreciative of the gifts that you generously provide. Fill my heart with thankfulness, and show me ways in which I may serve others with gratitude and joy. Amen.

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Beautiful Placement.

Photo by Mathieu Turle on Unsplash

(Reader friends, this is a duplicate post of one I tried to publish earlier, but hasn’t yet appeared on my blog site. My apologies if this is a repeat for you!)

You cannot look in a new direction by looking harder in the same direction.
~ Edward de Bono

Today’s cairn is one that would indicate a turning point, a time to move in a new direction. As you envision yourself walking your current path of life, how would you react to this cairn today? Would you be surprised that you are being directed to take a new path? Would you be sad to leave your current one? Or would you find that you have been seeking this cairn for some time now? Whether this cairn has surprised, saddened, or supported us, today we are invited to move in a new direction.

Perhaps our new direction will be a minor adjustment, such as changing our morning routine, reading a different type of book, getting more information about a new vocation, drinking an extra glass of water, or adding a time of prayer to the day. Small steps may lead to bigger steps, and small changes may inspire bigger ones.

Or maybe it is time to redirect ourselves in a significant way. Our new direction could be a completely new path, or it may be a new attitude for our current one. As we discern our next steps, we might consider what types of cairns have been guiding us up until now. Have our cairns been assembled with inspiration, imagination, courage, and trust? Or have they been created out of fear, complacency, adequacy, and doubt?

At this time, my current path seems quite sure and true. But occasionally I hear a quiet invitation to look around. I cast a few curious glances toward new paths, wondering if there are beautiful vistas out there I am meant to discover. I have this feeling that I am to do something more, but I am not certain what that is.

I found these words from Elizabeth Gilbert’s interview with Jen Hatmaker so helpful, as she talks about an idea from her book, Big Magic:

“I think that the words passion, purpose, and balance actually bring fear… because they present a sense of lack and that you should be doing more, you should be producing more, and you should be more successful. All of that stuff, I think, creates anxiety, but the word curiosity for me always makes me feel calm. It always makes me feel smiley, because it’s so gentle…

Curiosity just says, “I wonder what it would be like to take a pottery class for a day?” The stakes are so low, and that’s why it’s actually achievable. Curiosity is this very gentle and very simple impulse that causes you to turn your head a quarter of an inch, look at something a little more, and be like, Oh, that’s neat. What’s that? That person is kind of cool. What’s that? 

You can live a curiosity-driven life that never sews itself together into something that looks like what the champions of success would tell you that a championship successful life looks like. But it will be a really good life, and it will be a really nourishing life, and it will be a life that looks like you. And that, to me, feels like the highest attainment.”¹

How might you begin exploring today?

You show me the path of life.
    In your presence there is fullness of joy;
    in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

(Psalm 16:11 NRSV)

(As you place the stone today, consider these words) “I place this turning- point stone as my invitation to move in this new direction…”

Inviting God,

I thank you for your steadfast, loving presence on all the paths of my life. I know that my purpose is less about my path and more about your presence, but today I would like to turn from those things that no longer bless you nor me. Give me the curiosity and the courage to begin exploring any new paths that would lead me to find more of you – and more of my true self in you. Keep my eyes open to notice your guidance, my heart ready to receive your wisdom, and my feet willing to follow your lead. Amen.

Next week’s cairn theme will be An Altar of Gratitude.

¹https://jenhatmaker.com/podcast/series-26/elizabeth-gilbert-moves-from-fear-to-fierce/

Photo by Jens Johnsson on Unsplash

The cairn as a memorial marker
designating our grief and loss.

Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. ~Anne Roiphe

On those days when we cannot seem to find happiness,
we should substitute hopefulness.
~ Karen, age 22

As we journey together during this tumultuous year, we all have reasons to grieve. We have all lost something, even if our losses may not seem as significant as those of others. Jim and I have been fortunate, but our losses include a family vacation, seeing our dear sons, hugs with my mom, and the precious time we would have spent differently. We will certainly look back on 2020 as a significant time, a time to mark or designate as a time of life-changing loss.

If you are like me, most of the time we try to handle losses with acceptance, grace and dignity. We compare our sorrow with someone whose grief and loss are much greater, and we tell ourselves that we are fortunate. We remind ourselves that God will heal, restore, and resurrect all things in time. We look around for the blessings that remain, and hope for hidden blessings that may arise from our losses. As people of faith, we turn to the source and reasons for our abiding peace and hope.

But we do not need to deny or discount the incredible sadness deep within us. Our tears are no indication that we have lost faith or hope. We can grieve for the losses we have endured, the people we miss, the heartbreak we have suffered. We can grieve for others who are hurting deeply, too. Our weeping is a cleansing time, a time to release our sadness into the universe.

Today we will use our stone as a memorial. We will acknowledge our grief, remember with gratitude what we have lost, and honor our sadness as sacred. Our stone provides us with an opportunity to weep if we choose. But we will grieve with hope. We will grieve as community. We will grieve for others and we will grieve together. We will welcome our tears and embrace our pain as we hold one another in our hearts.

Tomorrow we shall move on. Today we take time to grieve.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ.

(2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “I place this memorial stone and remember with both sorrow and gratitude…”

Redeeming and resurrecting God,

I place this stone with gratitude for the love you give to all who are grieving today. Today I grieve, for myself and for all who are sad at this moment. May this stone serve as a reminder to turn to you for healing and comfort, to trust in you for hope and resurrection. Thank you for your peace beyond my understanding. Help me to comfort others who need your tender care and compassion, as we journey on through life together. Amen.

(My quote at age 22 was written shortly after the death of my dear cousin and friend, Sharon.)

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Turning Point.

Photo by Matteo Grando on Unsplash

The cairn as a symbol of connection.

We shall walk together on this path of life, for all things are part of the universe and are connected with each other to form one whole unity.
~Maria Montessori

For me, the deepest beauty found in cairns is the bond it forms between hikers. There is a special relationship between the hiker who served as the cairn creator, all the hikers who have since passed by and left the cairn untouched, and all the hikers yet to come. When I see delicately balanced cairns still standing on paths or beaches, I am touched by the respect others give them. This serves to remind me that we are all connected, and that perhaps there is a special unity among hikers, as we honor those who have gone before us as well as those who will come after us.

The cairn was created to cherish a moment or mark a location, and also to guide and bless those who follow. It continues to offer us grace and encouragement, even though the hiker who made the cairn may be long gone. In this time of social distancing, what a gift we have in the awareness that we can still remain connected beyond time and space. Cairns represent community, they symbolize connection, and we honor both as we appreciate them – and leave them as a blessing for others.

I recently learned about a phenomenon called Quantum Entanglement. In (my) simplest understanding, there are energy fields that exist between particles, and this energy continues to influence the particles even after they have been separated. An action performed on one will affect the other – even if one is on earth and the other on the moon! We are all connected, more than we can imagine. Our interactions, our words, and our thoughts might create waves of energy that make an impact, even over great distances. (Think of the times we hear from someone and we say, “I was JUST thinking about you!”)

Carrying a stone from the bottom of the valley to be placed on top of an existing cairn has become part of Scottish folklore and custom. Over time, cairns have grown into large mounds and are an intriguing and curious sight. An ancient Scottish blessing, “Cuiridh mi clach air do charn” means “I will put a stone on your cairn”.¹

Every act of kindness, every bit of care for our earth, every prayer said, every cairn created, will create positive energy waves that may make a greater difference than we can even dream. I am reminded of the time after my first miscarriage, when my friend Rick went to Mass and lit a candle for me. The tenderness of his gesture brought tears. I was so deeply comforted to know that after Rick left the Mass, my candle remained, along with his spirit of care and concern, the community of other candles, and the prayers said for us all.

Paul’s words from prison to the people of Colossae remind us of our spiritual connection beyond physical presence:

For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, and I rejoice to see your morale and the firmness of your faith in Christ.

(Colossians 2:5 NRSV)

(As you place your stone today, consider these words) “Today I place this stone on my cairn and lovingly bless this person…”

Connecting God,

I place this stone with an incredulous awareness of your deep connection with me and all of humanity. May I carry this holy connection with the people I love, with the friends who are doing this with me, and with all people near and far. Today, may I especially join with you in surrounding (this person)… with your love, comfort, peace, and joy. Remind me of our universal humanity, God. Remind me that all of us are your beloved children. Amen.

(This post is dedicated to all the friends who have touched my life with love. You will always remain with me, no matter the time or distance between us. Thank you!)

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Memorial Marker.

¹https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/

Photo credit: Cairn Gorm Summit Cairn, Scotland © Nick Bramhall / Flickr

The cairn as a course correction,
placing us on a better path to our final destination.

Mistakes have the power to turn you
into something better than you were before.
(Unknown)

When I began this series, I didn’t have all of the information on cairns that I do now. Recently, Jim and two other dear friends shared an article from a local newspaper with me. The article, “Leave Those Stones Alone,”¹ provided information about the harm that novice cairn builders can cause.

One problem, in which misplaced cairns take hikers down wrong or unsafe trails, was mentioned in my previous post, Cairn #2: A Guide for Our Path. Other concerns included: the safety of hikers who may reach for stones near snakes or scorpions; the environmental damage of undoing the habitats of birds, insects, and plants that thrive near rocks; or the destabilization of the soil in areas prone to erosion. Finally, there can be harm to the cultural understanding, symbolism, or local traditions of cairns when they are changed or moved in any way.

After reading the article, I felt discouraged about this series. Would I be contributing to these problems by inviting people to build cairns? I am hopeful that those of you who are building cairns will be mindful of these concerns. Most of us will not be building along remote paths, or moving established cairns, or using rocks that are not already loose. Regardless, this information is good for us to know.

Today’s cairn is the course correction. When we have somehow strayed from the correct path, the cairn remains to guide us back, keeping us from venturing into further trouble. We may have simply missed a sign, or gradually veered off course, or taken a wrong turn. The helpful cairn then reveals our missteps and returns us to the right path. This news article about cairns serves as a “course correction” by giving us the information we need in order to respect and honor them.

There are times when course corrections can feel like criticism. My pastor friend Chrysanne once kindly reminded me that criticism should first be received as information. Is any part of the criticism untrue and therefore not applicable to me? On the other hand, is any part of the criticism true and beneficial for me to know? When we learn to set aside our pride and initial hurt, we can begin to look for the hidden gems waiting to inform and mature us.

I believe we are always trying to do our best. We strive to do the right things, to live with integrity, to be good people, to follow God in all that we do. But we are works in progress, travelers on unknown adventures. Aren’t most of our mistakes simply because we didn’t have all the information we needed at that time? Because we just didn’t “know” better?

We can be gratefully relieved that God understands we are works in progress. God knows that we continue to learn and mature from our experiences, observations, and insights throughout life. God forgives our mistakes and also provides the cairns of correction. Together with God and one another, we keep moving forward on our journey toward wisdom and understanding. We can welcome all of our course-correcting cairns along the way with humble appreciation.

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
    but one who rejects a rebuke goes astray.
(Proverbs 10:17 NRSV)

(As you place your rock, consider these words.) “This stone is to encourage me to be attentive to any course corrections I may need this week…”

All-knowing God,

Oh, how I thank you for your constant love, even when I wander or lose my way. As I continue my journey as your beloved but imperfect child, increase my clarity and wisdom. Show me where I may be straying, reveal what I need to learn, guide me to your perfect way. Help me to welcome your correction with an open heart and humble gratitude. Amen.

Next week’s cairn focus will be A Symbol of Connection.

¹The article originally appeared in The Washington Post, written by Sunny Fitzgerald.

Photo by Filip Toroński on Unsplash