Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Advent #1: Hope In The Hurt
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 29
Mark 13:24-37 (NRSV)
“But about that day or hour no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Beware, keep alert; for you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his slaves in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch. Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake.” (verses 32-37)
FINDING HOPE IN OUR FOCUS
In the verses leading up to this passage, we learn that Jesus has told his disciples about the coming destruction of the temple. Peter, James, John, and Andrew then ask Jesus when all of this will happen (we know from the book of Matthew that the disciples’ question also pertains to his second coming and the end of the age). Jesus only advises them to pay attention, to be ready for hardship, to watch for signs, and to “keep awake.” Yes, Jesus would come again to make all things new, but in the meantime…
I wonder how the disciples felt. Were they excited, or were they afraid when they heard these words? Were they hopeful – or fearful – to watch and wait?
When I lie awake through a sleepless night, my thoughts usually are the worrisome, fearful ones. With no other distractions, my mind can quickly fill every space with hurts and concerns, leaving little room for peace or hope. I dwell on my troubles and anxieties while I wait for the morning to come. This type of “keeping awake” is not what Jesus has in mind.
In a recent podcast, Brian McLaren shared his story about participating in a visual exercise during a group event. The group was instructed to watch a video in which teams of people (dressed in black or white shirts) tossed balls to one another. He was to choose one person and count how often that person threw to another person on their team. Brian was very attentive, and he later learned that he had counted correctly. But he was surprised by the second question: Did he see the man in the gorilla suit crossing the stage during this time? He was so focused on the thrower that he missed a man in a gorilla suit!1
I lie awake and worry because I focus on our worldly troubles, my own mistakes, or my previous hurts, instead of seeking the One who makes all things good, all things new. Today we find our Advent hope in this reminder to watch for Jesus instead; Jesus, who also surprised us, not with a gorilla suit, but as a tiny baby born in humble surroundings.
“Keep awake,” Jesus says. Whether we are lying awake in the darkness or remaining aware in the daylight, we are to keep alert and watch for Christ. When we turn from watching the world to watching for Christ in the world, we can await the dawn of a new day, not with fear and worry, but with eager expectation and fervent Advent hope.
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The Bible passage for this Tuesday will be Isaiah 64:1-9.
1 https://cac.org/podcasts/5-what-you-focus-on-determines-what-you-miss/
Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash
Bible verses taken from https://www.biblegateway.com/
Gratitude and Grace
I hadn’t planned to write a Thanksgiving post, but a short while ago my daughter Jennie said some words that deeply resonated with me. I wonder if someone else may need to know them, too. So, here I am…
Jennie is a psychologist; she sees firsthand how difficult the holidays can be for people. This unusual and stressful year has made these weeks leading up to the holiday season even more difficult and depressing for many.
Through this pandemic, she has often told patients to carry gratitude and grace. She first suggests that they try to find reasons to be thankful each day. With the stress everyone is enduring, she also suggests that they try to extend grace to others, to keep in mind that everyone is struggling.
Then she adds one more suggestion. She suggests that they try to extend grace to themselves. None of us are at our best this year, yet we often find it easier to forgive or overlook the mistakes of others than to do the same for ourselves. This blessed me so much.
Have you disappointed someone? Have you snapped at a loved one? Have you forgotten something important? Have you been impatient with a customer service person? Have you felt weary of life? Do you feel as if you have failed in some way? Have you felt lazy or uninspired? Do you recognize that you are not your best self?
Today is the day to begin anew.
Today is the day to be thankful.
Today is the day to extend grace to others.
Today is the day to extend grace to yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
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Photo by GraceHues Photography on UnsplashGraceHues Photography@gracehuesDownload free
An Advent for Hurting Hearts
INTRODUCTION
As I have been thinking, praying, and writing Advent reflections, I am mindful that this season will be an especially poignant time of watching and waiting. My longing for God has deepened during this unusual and challenging year; I have desperately prayed for God to give us answers, soothe our spirits, ease our cares, and solve our problems! I know many of you have done the same.
Our difficulties and our yearnings are nothing new. The Bible is filled with stories of great trial and sorrow. The Bible is filled with stories of people longing for a Messiah who would save them from their heartaches. We are not alone in our search for meaning in the mess, guidance for our steps, hope for our future. These are difficult times, but difficult times have been around since time began.
And since time began, Christ has been with us in every moment! God as Christ was – and is – in all of creation. Jesus Christ came to our world as the Word in flesh. The Spirit Christ is with us now. We have our Messiah, the presence of God in Christ for everything we need, in these times and all times to come. The Advent gifts of Christ are still waiting for us in this season, even in these unsettled times.
In this year’s Advent reflections, I pray you will be uplifted as we seek these gifts of Christ in our weekly themes:
~ Hope in the Hurt
~ Peace in the Pandemic
~ Joy in the Junk
~ Love in the Limbo
This season, may all the Advent gifts of Christ – the gifts of hope, peace, joy, and love – once again be revealed within our hurting hearts. May all the Advent gifts of Christ – these same gifts of hope, peace, joy, and love – then be shared with the hurting hearts around us. May we keep opening our hurting hearts to the incredible goodness of God in Christ Jesus; the goodness that has always been with us, continues to remain with us, and will carry us into our future days.
God bless you, dear friends, this Advent season.
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(Advent will begin next Sunday, November 29th. We will use the designated passages from the Revised Common Lectionary for the four Sundays of Advent; the Gospel reading on Sunday, the Old Testament reading on Tuesday, and the reading from the New Testament Letters on Thursday.)
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
Five Minute Friday: Grief
I remember the humorous story of the young student, when asked to recite a Bible verse from memory, proudly stated, “Jesus wept.” This verse (John 11:35) is the shortest one in the Bible – and the easiest to remember!
But in these difficult and unprecedented times, I am claiming these two simple words as the most meaningful verse in the Bible. In our times of deepest grief, we have One who knows and shares our sorrow. In our times of unbearable trials, we have One who knows and bears our pain. In our times of frightening uncertainty, we have One who knows and goes with us through our fear. There is no hardship or sorrow that our God in Christ Jesus has not experienced, too.
Jesus wept.
In all of life, whatever our days may bring, we are in the good company of the One who understands us, hurts with us, and weeps with us. We are also in the good company of the One who will one day dry our tears, heal our hearts, and bring us incredible joy.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (NRSV)
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(Five Minute Friday is an online writing community. Each week, we are given a one-word prompt and about five minutes to write. You may find other posts or add your own at the link above!)
The Bible verse was found at https://classic.biblegateway.com/
Five Minute Friday: Cancel
Our word prompt for today, CANCEL, has been with us too much this year. As our plans continue to be canceled or postponed, we can become increasingly discouraged, frustrated, or sorrowful. But in some cases, we can be relieved or even joyful, such as in the cancelation of a debt, or the cancelation of school on a snowy day. Our perspective on this word varies according to our circumstances and our reactions to them.
Each cancelation brings a new invitation. We are given an unexpected space, an opportunity to respond and to replace what has been canceled in the best way possible. We can replace our initial disappointment with hope, as we reschedule our plans for a future time. We can replace our sadness with joy, as we consider the many blessings that still abound – even in this moment. We can replace our frustration with peace and patience, as we remember that God’s time is eternal and always perfect. And when our initial response is joy or relief, we can fill the new and unexpected space with acts of kindness that bring joy or relief to others.
We may hear this word, CANCEL, quite often for some time yet. May we come to see each cancelation as an invitation; an opportunity to keep growing, learning, and trusting in the One who holds all of us, through all of time… the One who invites us to grow in joy and love, no matter our circumstances.
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Five Minute Friday is an online writing community. Each week, we are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. You may find more information and other blog posts at the site under the image!
Getting “The Stink Blown Off”
In our younger years, my dad would sometimes say to my brother, sister, and me, “Go outside and get the stink blown off!” As I recall, this usually occurred when there was a sense of restlessness, contrariness, or laziness among us. My naïve young self often wondered if Dad was the one who needed to go outdoors. (After all, the problem certainly couldn’t have been with me!)
Dad was usually right; the sunshine and fresh air improved our spirits, our pent-up energy was released, and everyone felt more peaceful once we came back inside. This practice has remained with me. My spirits are always uplifted when I spend time outdoors in God’s beautiful creation. My “stink is blown off.”
During this pandemic, Jim and I have especially appreciated our times outdoors – hiking area trails, walking the neighborhood streets, or sitting on our porch. The sunshine, fresh air, and soft rain showers lift our spirits and break up our routines. But our outdoor times will soon be less convenient, less comfortable, as this autumn season gives way to winter.
Normally, I look forward to this season of “cocooning,” but we have already been doing this for most of the year! The other joys normally found in the wintertime – inviting friends to visit, dining out, attending worship, or even holiday shopping with the crowds – will likely be postponed. How will I cope in this season?
I have begun compiling new ideas for stink removal…
~ I can dress warmly and continue going outdoors, keeping my daily walks as often as possible. Then I can add a few extra winter joys… gathering around a fire and toasting marshmallows, hiking in the snowy woods, taking nighttime walks to see the Christmas lights, photographing beautiful scenes, stepping outside to sip hot tea and breathe in the crisp air.
~ I will continue to worship online, but I can also light a few candles, read the Bible and other spiritual books, and spend more time in quiet reflection. I can learn new ideas from other books and documentaries, to keep my thoughts and conversations interesting and insightful.
~ For fellowship, I can host Zoom meetings with dear ones, play more board games with Jim, share cookies or other treats with neighbors, hike with friends while keeping space, email or message loved ones, send cards or letters to those who are far away.
~ To lighten our spirits, Jim and I can watch humorous movies, listen to comedians, play seasonal music, post uplifting words on social media. I can change some of my routines, try new recipes, creatively decorate our home to add warmth and cheer.
Best of all, I can ask the wind of the Spirit to blow my stink away when the need arises. The Spirit can be a cooling breeze to blow away the heat of my anger or irritability, or to comfort and soothe my cares and concerns. The Spirit can be a strong and refreshing wind when I need a push to change my ways or move to new understanding. The Spirit can be a mighty storm that tears down all that is no longer necessary or true, all that encumbers me from being more freely and fully of God. The Spirit can be a gentle caress, simply reminding me that I am beloved.
How will the wind of the Spirit blow my stink away in this new season?
I wait with eager anticipation! (And some trepidation! 😉 )
Psalm 51:10-12 (NRSV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Photo by Spurwing Agency on Unsplash
Five Minute Friday: Ahead
I look ahead; I’m eager
for the plans I have in mind.
I look around and find that
You are cheering from behind.
I look ahead; I’m fearful
and my mind is filled with dread.
I look within and hear You
saying, “Look to me instead.”
I look ahead; I’m worried
for the ones I hold so dear.
I need not look around me
to know You’re always near.
I look ahead, so joyful
for the moments yet to be!
You are always at my side
and You celebrate with me.
I look ahead, uncertain
of the paths I’ve yet to roam.
Then I feel Your hand in mine…
Yes, You will lead me home.
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(Five Minute Friday is an online writing community. Each week, we are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. You may enjoy reading some other posts! Visit the link shown below the image.)
Cairn #10: A Destination Reached
The cairn as the final destination of our journey.
What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important
as what you will become by reaching your destination.
~ Zig Ziglar
Jim and I recently watched, “The Way” for the third time. The movie is a story about a father (Tom) and his walking journey on the El Camino de Santiago, a path of pilgrimage to the shrine of Saint James, the apostle. The movie especially portrays how there is much more to this path of life than getting to our destination. The friendships we make, the difficulties we endure, the beauties we encounter, the experiences we celebrate, the stories we share, and the lessons we learn, are what make our lives rich and meaningful.
Many Camino hikers carry a stone with them, and near the end of the trail they place the stone on a large cairn (as shown in the picture). When the dear characters in the movie pause, pray, and reverently place their stones, I wonder what significance each stone held for them. I could perceive that each stone held several different meanings. The stones left at the end of the Camino not only marked an accomplishment but also signified a surrender.
Perhaps all the cairns on our life journey hold dual meanings. In every accomplishment, there is both victory and surrender. In every difficulty, there is the same. We might place a stone for both – “I have accomplished this, and in doing so, I have also surrendered this.” In each stone, there is sorrow and joy. Heartache and triumph. Frustration and forgiveness. Challenge and strength. Tears and smiles. Loss and gratitude. When we sort through our burdens, we will also find blessings.
Oh, we may journey with specific goals in mind, we may map out our plans and dreams, but in the end, we find we have gained much more. The memorable quote from this movie is, “You don’t choose a life; you live one.” The friends become emotional as they approach the shrine at the end of their journey together. The officials stamp their booklets, and they are asked, “What was the reason for your pilgrimage?” They all look surprised and thoughtful, as they recognize how their original reasons had evolved into much different and perhaps greater purposes.
From the shrine, we know that Tom is going to continue his journey to the Atlantic Ocean while the others return home. But with a glint in his eye and a small smile, he looks at each of his comrades. They grin, pick up their packs, and then walk on, together.
I like to imagine that at the end of our earthly journey, we will be grateful for all we have learned and experienced. We will feel blessed by the things we have encountered, enjoyed, or even endured. We will understand the ways in which God has made everything come together for good. We will know that this path has truly been the path of life, an unexpected but totally abundant path of life.
And we will see Jesus. With a glint in his eye and a small smile, he will look at us… and we will grin, drop our packs, and then walk on, together.
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life…
John 14:2-6 (NRSV)
(As you place your stone, consider these words) “Today I place this stone to commemorate the end of this ten-week journey. I am thankful for both the accomplishments and the losses during this time, especially for…”
God, our companion and our destination,
Today marks the end of one journey, but also the beginning of a new one. Thank you for this journey of life, and for all the things I have experienced, enjoyed, and yes, even endured. You have accompanied me through all of it, teaching, helping, healing, guiding, blessing, and loving me. Thank you. And I thank you that when I arrive at the end of my earthly journey, you will still be with me, ready to lead me on to new adventures. Amen.
Photo credit: Image of El Camino found at http://www.frescotours.com
This is the end of our series on cairns. I hope you have been blessed!
(This is my finished cairn.)
Five Minute Friday: Vote
Happy birthday, my son.
My greeting feels hollow.
You’ve faced difficult days –
seems more are to follow.
Happy birthday, my son,
though fires burn around,
thick smoke fills your air,
and ash coats the ground.
Happy birthday, my son.
On this day of your birth,
are you wishing that leaders
would care for our earth?
Happy birthday my son,
but please stay inside.
Folks won’t wear masks.
It’s their right and their pride.
Happy birthday, my son,
may you both remain healthy.
Your healthcare may be taken
in choices by the wealthy.
Happy birthday, my son,
though our family is shattered;
as racist systems and violence
show black lives don’t matter.
Happy birthday, my son,
but I cannot pretend
that I’m not concerned
for your rights as gay men.
Happy birthday, my son.
Yes, it’s been a tough year
and this hasty Appointment
just adds to our fear.
Happy birthday, my son.
What more can I say?
Happy birthday, my son…
I voted today.
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This is a mom’s lament that I began composing earlier this week. Today’s prompt seemed a fitting time to finish it and share.
(Five Minute Friday is an online writing community. Each week, we are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. You may find more posts at the link below the image!)
Cairn #9: A Gift of Legacy
The cairn as a legacy that remains after we have gone.
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments
but what is woven into the lives of others.
~ Pericles
Today we think of the cairn as a legacy we leave behind. What do you hope to include in your legacy cairn? How would you like to be remembered?
The cairns we encounter on our hiking paths give us little information about the builder. We usually do not know who built the cairn, or when. We only know that someone passed this way before us, wanted to designate a moment or place as special, and in turn, blessed us.
It is humbling to realize that in a hundred years or so, we will most likely be only remembered by our name, when and where we lived, and perhaps a photo or two. I long to be remembered, but I probably won’t be for more than a few generations. At times this reality has made me sad, but I also have discovered a new and joyous freedom…
Shortly after my cancer treatments, our family enjoyed a long-anticipated vacation at the Outer Banks. I celebrated this treasured time with such a grateful heart, but inwardly I also wondered, what if this is my last time? My combined gratitude and fear prompted me to take LOTS of photos. I wanted to record every precious moment as a tangible and enduring keepsake for my loved ones. Just in case...
One evening, we were thrilled to see dolphins frolicking in the ocean! We all stood side by side on the beach, watching with awe and wonder. At one point, I asked my son to turn and face me so I could get a photo of him. Kevin looked at me gently and said, “Mom, right now we are watching the dolphins.” He knew this was a rare moment; in turning away, he and I would miss the sheer joy of seeing these dolphins leap and dive together.
His words became an invitation to reexamine my legacy cairn. Will my stones be tangible ones, such as photos, journals, and souvenirs? Or will my stones be intangible ones – savoring our times together, being a loving and attentive presence, living my life in a way that my family will want to emulate?
In that one moment on the beach, our children and grandchildren were experiencing and absorbing some priceless legacy stones. The love we share within our diverse and unique family, brought together by more than birth or bloodline. The awe we have for creation and the need to care for it. The awareness we hold for the preciousness of life and the call to live it well. The appreciation we have for one another, and for the laughter, conversations, tenderness, and joy we share. We do not need detailed documentation or abundant photos for any of these to remain.
That is more than enough of a legacy for me.
What is truly important will remain, and that is LOVE. What we do now is what matters most. How our lives will live on in future generations is what we invest in those who are living now. Our names may never be said, but our love will continue. What we do each day for others will become our greatest legacy.
Love never ends…
And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:8,13 (NRSV)
(As you place your stone today, consider these words) “I place this stone as a commitment to leave a legacy of love, especially in these ways…”
God of eternal love,
Since the beginning of creation, your love has continued from generation to generation. Thank you for sharing your love with me and for giving me this precious and holy life. May I always humbly choose to set aside my need for recognition and my need to be remembered. Instead, may my life draw others to recognize and remember YOU. Help me to live in such a way that I leave a legacy of love for others, a legacy that will last, a legacy that will draw people to love – both you and one another. Amen.
(I am posting this a few days early for a friend.)
Next Monday’s cairn will be our last, A Destination Reached.
Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash
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