Simply Soul Searching

The cairn as the final destination of our journey.

What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important
as what you will become by reaching your destination.
~ Zig Ziglar

Jim and I recently watched, “The Way” for the third time. The movie is a story about a father (Tom) and his walking journey on the El Camino de Santiago, a path of pilgrimage to the shrine of Saint James, the apostle. The movie especially portrays how there is much more to this path of life than getting to our destination. The friendships we make, the difficulties we endure, the beauties we encounter, the experiences we celebrate, the stories we share, and the lessons we learn, are what make our lives rich and meaningful.

Many Camino hikers carry a stone with them, and near the end of the trail they place the stone on a large cairn (as shown in the picture). When the dear characters in the movie pause, pray, and reverently place their stones, I wonder what significance each stone held for them. I could perceive that each stone held several different meanings. The stones left at the end of the Camino not only marked an accomplishment but also signified a surrender.

Perhaps all the cairns on our life journey hold dual meanings. In every accomplishment, there is both victory and surrender. In every difficulty, there is the same. We might place a stone for both – “I have accomplished this, and in doing so, I have also surrendered this.” In each stone, there is sorrow and joy. Heartache and triumph. Frustration and forgiveness. Challenge and strength. Tears and smiles. Loss and gratitude. When we sort through our burdens, we will also find blessings.

Oh, we may journey with specific goals in mind, we may map out our plans and dreams, but in the end, we find we have gained much more. The memorable quote from this movie is, “You don’t choose a life; you live one.” The friends become emotional as they approach the shrine at the end of their journey together. The officials stamp their booklets, and they are asked, “What was the reason for your pilgrimage?” They all look surprised and thoughtful, as they recognize how their original reasons had evolved into much different and perhaps greater purposes.

From the shrine, we know that Tom is going to continue his journey to the Atlantic Ocean while the others return home. But with a glint in his eye and a small smile, he looks at each of his comrades. They grin, pick up their packs, and then walk on, together.

I like to imagine that at the end of our earthly journey, we will be grateful for all we have learned and experienced. We will feel blessed by the things we have encountered, enjoyed, or even endured. We will understand the ways in which God has made everything come together for good. We will know that this path has truly been the path of life, an unexpected but totally abundant path of life.

And we will see Jesus. With a glint in his eye and a small smile, he will look at us… and we will grin, drop our packs, and then walk on, together.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life…

John 14:2-6 (NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “Today I place this stone to commemorate the end of this ten-week journey. I am thankful for both the accomplishments and the losses during this time, especially for…”

God, our companion and our destination,

Today marks the end of one journey, but also the beginning of a new one. Thank you for this journey of life, and for all the things I have experienced, enjoyed, and yes, even endured. You have accompanied me through all of it, teaching, helping, healing, guiding, blessing, and loving me. Thank you. And I thank you that when I arrive at the end of my earthly journey, you will still be with me, ready to lead me on to new adventures. Amen.

Photo credit: Image of El Camino found at http://www.frescotours.com

This is the end of our series on cairns. I hope you have been blessed!

(This is my finished cairn.)

The cairn as a legacy that remains after we have gone.

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments
but what is woven into the lives of others.
~ Pericles

Today we think of the cairn as a legacy we leave behind. What do you hope to include in your legacy cairn? How would you like to be remembered?

The cairns we encounter on our hiking paths give us little information about the builder. We usually do not know who built the cairn, or when. We only know that someone passed this way before us, wanted to designate a moment or place as special, and in turn, blessed us.

It is humbling to realize that in a hundred years or so, we will most likely be only remembered by our name, when and where we lived, and perhaps a photo or two. I long to be remembered, but I probably won’t be for more than a few generations. At times this reality has made me sad, but I also have discovered a new and joyous freedom…

Shortly after my cancer treatments, our family enjoyed a long-anticipated vacation at the Outer Banks. I celebrated this treasured time with such a grateful heart, but inwardly I also wondered, what if this is my last time? My combined gratitude and fear prompted me to take LOTS of photos. I wanted to record every precious moment as a tangible and enduring keepsake for my loved ones. Just in case...

One evening, we were thrilled to see dolphins frolicking in the ocean! We all stood side by side on the beach, watching with awe and wonder. At one point, I asked my son to turn and face me so I could get a photo of him. Kevin looked at me gently and said, “Mom, right now we are watching the dolphins.” He knew this was a rare moment; in turning away, he and I would miss the sheer joy of seeing these dolphins leap and dive together.

His words became an invitation to reexamine my legacy cairn. Will my stones be tangible ones, such as photos, journals, and souvenirs? Or will my stones be intangible ones – savoring our times together, being a loving and attentive presence, living my life in a way that my family will want to emulate?

In that one moment on the beach, our children and grandchildren were experiencing and absorbing some priceless legacy stones. The love we share within our diverse and unique family, brought together by more than birth or bloodline. The awe we have for creation and the need to care for it. The awareness we hold for the preciousness of life and the call to live it well. The appreciation we have for one another, and for the laughter, conversations, tenderness, and joy we share. We do not need detailed documentation or abundant photos for any of these to remain.

That is more than enough of a legacy for me.

What is truly important will remain, and that is LOVE. What we do now is what matters most. How our lives will live on in future generations is what we invest in those who are living now. Our names may never be said, but our love will continue. What we do each day for others will become our greatest legacy.

Love never ends… 
And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
and the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:8,13 (NRSV)

(As you place your stone today, consider these words) “I place this stone as a commitment to leave a legacy of love, especially in these ways…”

God of eternal love,

Since the beginning of creation, your love has continued from generation to generation. Thank you for sharing your love with me and for giving me this precious and holy life. May I always humbly choose to set aside my need for recognition and my need to be remembered. Instead, may my life draw others to recognize and remember YOU. Help me to live in such a way that I leave a legacy of love for others, a legacy that will last, a legacy that will draw people to love – both you and one another. Amen.

(I am posting this a few days early for a friend.)

Next Monday’s cairn will be our last, A Destination Reached.

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

The cairn as a creative work of simplicity,
balance, and placement.

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity
but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”
~ Thomas Merton

“Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful.”
~John Maeda

Creative cairn builders often arrange rocks with an eye for unusual, artistic, and beautiful results. These unique cairns can offer us new perspectives for life, as we notice the beauty that comes from their simplicity, balance, and placement. How might these qualities make our lives more beautiful, too?

As I write this, I am thinking of my seashell collection. Each shell was selected for its color, unique shape, or pristine condition. Each shell was chosen during a treasured vacation time. Each shell helps me recall a lovely memory and serves as a token of the majestic sea. But placed together, they lose their individual significance and become a nondescript bowl of shells.

The shells relate to our theme of simplicity, balance, and placement this week. Our cairn invites us to consider a variety of ways to make our own unique and beautiful creations – our cairns and our lives.

~ Is it time to fashion our cairns and our lives with more simplicity? Do we need to remove a stone or two, or to discard a habit, a belief, a grudge, or a burden that has cluttered and diminished their beauty? More rocks do not make a cairn beautiful. We may need to remove a few stones, keeping only the ones that are most important for the life we are building.

~ Do we need to rebalance our cairns and our lives? Is it time to rearrange stones so that they do not topple or fall? What stone will we choose for our base, our foundation? What are our life’s essential stones, and how will they be prioritized – one building on the other – to sustain balance and create a unique perspective? Ordering and prioritizing what is essential will help to keep us focused – and less likely to be overwhelmed.

~ Is this a time to enhance the beauty of our cairns and lives by trying some new and creative placements of these essential rocks? Perhaps this is an opportunity to step back and observe the entire structure of our lives with an open and creative mindset. What are the ways in which we hope to make our lives more beautiful? Are there enough open spaces between the rocks? Spaces within the cairns help to highlight each individual stone; spaces within our lives allow room for the Spirit to move.

The best way to fashion a more beautiful life is to place our essentials into the hands of the ultimate Creator.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2 (NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “As I place this stone as an invitation to simplicity, balance, and creativity, I am especially mindful of this area in my life…”

Creator God,

I place this stone and ask for your loving artistry to guide my life. Help me to discern what is essential and to discard all that is not. Give me wisdom to choose what enhances but does not overwhelm; what fosters the beauty that draws others solely to you; and what extravagantly blesses through its simplicity. Guide me as I order the essentials of my life, always keeping you and your love as my foundation. Amen.

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Gift of Legacy.

Photo by Angelika Spanke on Unsplash

The cairn as a sacred space
in which to be thankful.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
– Melody Beattie

“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.”
– Mary Davis

Years ago, our dear cousin and friend Sharon died suddenly in her sleep at the age of 21. After months of shock and grief – for myself and for all who loved her – I began journaling my thoughts about life and God. One day I wrote, “When Sharon’s death seems unfair to me, I have to think how much more unfair it would be to have never known her.”

This was a healing moment in my grief, but also a turning point for my perspective on life. I was learning to seek the gifts that remain after loss, to experience gratitude even in heartache.

We are fully aware that this has been a difficult year. Today’s stone serves as an invitation for us to choose gratitude, to change our perspective if needed, and to begin regarding this unusual year with new awareness and appreciation. Some of the gifts of this year may be apparent right away. Some may be less obvious and will require us to actively seek and reflect. Some gifts may be not be revealed until later in life, when we see ways in which this time became the beginning of something new and good.

Here are some hidden blessing questions we might ask.

Have we learned anything new about our character through these challenging times?
What are some lessons we have learned?
Where have we noticed God’s comfort, wisdom, or peace in our lives?
Has our anxious uncertainty drawn us closer to our strong and sure God?
Have we been given new opportunities to help one another?
How do we remember with gratitude what we may have lost?
How will their gifts remain with us and continue to bless us?
Will any changes in our way of life possibly make a difference for good?
What simple blessings still abound but simply remain unnoticed?
Does the fragility of life enable us to appreciate life more?
Who has been a special blessing to us recently?
How do we see God shaping us into better people?
How might we choose to improve our way of living and being, because of and through these times?

Today, may we find gratitude for what is. May we be fully present to the moment, to one another, and to God. May we tap into our joy from within when we cannot find it elsewhere. Gifts are all around us, just waiting to be discovered. Our gratitude will bless God, while also fostering our own deeper peace and joy.

God is always good.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and do not forget all his benefits—
who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the Pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good as long as you live
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103:1-5 (NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “I place this stone as a symbol of my gratitude especially for these blessings…”

God of gracious abundance,

Your mercies and blessings are all around me, but I do not always notice them. Your peace and hope are within me, but I do not always sense them.
Your ways are perfect and good, but I do not always embrace them. Forgive me when I am unaware or unappreciative of the gifts that you generously provide. Fill my heart with thankfulness, and show me ways in which I may serve others with gratitude and joy. Amen.

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Beautiful Placement.

Photo by Mathieu Turle on Unsplash

(Reader friends, this is a duplicate post of one I tried to publish earlier, but hasn’t yet appeared on my blog site. My apologies if this is a repeat for you!)

You cannot look in a new direction by looking harder in the same direction.
~ Edward de Bono

Today’s cairn is one that would indicate a turning point, a time to move in a new direction. As you envision yourself walking your current path of life, how would you react to this cairn today? Would you be surprised that you are being directed to take a new path? Would you be sad to leave your current one? Or would you find that you have been seeking this cairn for some time now? Whether this cairn has surprised, saddened, or supported us, today we are invited to move in a new direction.

Perhaps our new direction will be a minor adjustment, such as changing our morning routine, reading a different type of book, getting more information about a new vocation, drinking an extra glass of water, or adding a time of prayer to the day. Small steps may lead to bigger steps, and small changes may inspire bigger ones.

Or maybe it is time to redirect ourselves in a significant way. Our new direction could be a completely new path, or it may be a new attitude for our current one. As we discern our next steps, we might consider what types of cairns have been guiding us up until now. Have our cairns been assembled with inspiration, imagination, courage, and trust? Or have they been created out of fear, complacency, adequacy, and doubt?

At this time, my current path seems quite sure and true. But occasionally I hear a quiet invitation to look around. I cast a few curious glances toward new paths, wondering if there are beautiful vistas out there I am meant to discover. I have this feeling that I am to do something more, but I am not certain what that is.

I found these words from Elizabeth Gilbert’s interview with Jen Hatmaker so helpful, as she talks about an idea from her book, Big Magic:

“I think that the words passion, purpose, and balance actually bring fear… because they present a sense of lack and that you should be doing more, you should be producing more, and you should be more successful. All of that stuff, I think, creates anxiety, but the word curiosity for me always makes me feel calm. It always makes me feel smiley, because it’s so gentle…

Curiosity just says, “I wonder what it would be like to take a pottery class for a day?” The stakes are so low, and that’s why it’s actually achievable. Curiosity is this very gentle and very simple impulse that causes you to turn your head a quarter of an inch, look at something a little more, and be like, Oh, that’s neat. What’s that? That person is kind of cool. What’s that? 

You can live a curiosity-driven life that never sews itself together into something that looks like what the champions of success would tell you that a championship successful life looks like. But it will be a really good life, and it will be a really nourishing life, and it will be a life that looks like you. And that, to me, feels like the highest attainment.”¹

How might you begin exploring today?

You show me the path of life.
    In your presence there is fullness of joy;
    in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

(Psalm 16:11 NRSV)

(As you place the stone today, consider these words) “I place this turning- point stone as my invitation to move in this new direction…”

Inviting God,

I thank you for your steadfast, loving presence on all the paths of my life. I know that my purpose is less about my path and more about your presence, but today I would like to turn from those things that no longer bless you nor me. Give me the curiosity and the courage to begin exploring any new paths that would lead me to find more of you – and more of my true self in you. Keep my eyes open to notice your guidance, my heart ready to receive your wisdom, and my feet willing to follow your lead. Amen.

Next week’s cairn theme will be An Altar of Gratitude.

¹https://jenhatmaker.com/podcast/series-26/elizabeth-gilbert-moves-from-fear-to-fierce/

Photo by Jens Johnsson on Unsplash

The cairn as a memorial marker
designating our grief and loss.

Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. ~Anne Roiphe

On those days when we cannot seem to find happiness,
we should substitute hopefulness.
~ Karen, age 22

As we journey together during this tumultuous year, we all have reasons to grieve. We have all lost something, even if our losses may not seem as significant as those of others. Jim and I have been fortunate, but our losses include a family vacation, seeing our dear sons, hugs with my mom, and the precious time we would have spent differently. We will certainly look back on 2020 as a significant time, a time to mark or designate as a time of life-changing loss.

If you are like me, most of the time we try to handle losses with acceptance, grace and dignity. We compare our sorrow with someone whose grief and loss are much greater, and we tell ourselves that we are fortunate. We remind ourselves that God will heal, restore, and resurrect all things in time. We look around for the blessings that remain, and hope for hidden blessings that may arise from our losses. As people of faith, we turn to the source and reasons for our abiding peace and hope.

But we do not need to deny or discount the incredible sadness deep within us. Our tears are no indication that we have lost faith or hope. We can grieve for the losses we have endured, the people we miss, the heartbreak we have suffered. We can grieve for others who are hurting deeply, too. Our weeping is a cleansing time, a time to release our sadness into the universe.

Today we will use our stone as a memorial. We will acknowledge our grief, remember with gratitude what we have lost, and honor our sadness as sacred. Our stone provides us with an opportunity to weep if we choose. But we will grieve with hope. We will grieve as community. We will grieve for others and we will grieve together. We will welcome our tears and embrace our pain as we hold one another in our hearts.

Tomorrow we shall move on. Today we take time to grieve.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ.

(2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NRSV)

(As you place your stone, consider these words) “I place this memorial stone and remember with both sorrow and gratitude…”

Redeeming and resurrecting God,

I place this stone with gratitude for the love you give to all who are grieving today. Today I grieve, for myself and for all who are sad at this moment. May this stone serve as a reminder to turn to you for healing and comfort, to trust in you for hope and resurrection. Thank you for your peace beyond my understanding. Help me to comfort others who need your tender care and compassion, as we journey on through life together. Amen.

(My quote at age 22 was written shortly after the death of my dear cousin and friend, Sharon.)

Next week’s cairn theme will be A Turning Point.

Photo by Matteo Grando on Unsplash