Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Five Minute Friday: Breathe
It was January 2015. I sat at my desk, creating my usual list of ambitious goals and plans for the new year. I was also wondering what word to choose as my guide for the year, a word that would serve as my theme and focus for my days. I glanced up and noticed the word on a plaque my daughter had given me: Breathe. Was this to be my word? I looked up the various meanings of the word, prayed and pondered. Breathe soon seemed like the perfect choice.
A few months later I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and Jim was found to have an aortic aneurysm. The year was filled with treatments and surgeries. I needed to avoid people as my immunity was weakened, and spent my days simply resting and walking in the park. My word was a perfect one, not for the reasons I had anticipated, but for all the reasons I needed.
I recently learned that “inspiration” comes from in-spire, to breathe in. Each breath we take is a sacred gift from God, serving as a source of life, of rest, of refreshment, and even of loving guidance. Today is a reminder for me to once again breathe deeply and be thankful… for God’s incredible love throughout this incredible life.
(Each week, writers are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. If you would like to join this online community or read other posts, follow the link to Five Minute Friday below the photo!)
Expanding Beyond our Templates
Shortly after we were divorced, my first husband and I had an insightful and gracious conversation as we sipped soft drinks at a small table in an outdoor café. At first, we felt awkward and stilted, but we gradually entered into an honest assessment of our broken marriage. We both agreed that some of our troubles stemmed from following the traditional marriage “templates” of our parents. Although these templates seemed to have worked well for them, we had grown increasingly frustrated and disappointed by the roles we were living, as well as from the expectations we held for each other. This new understanding was so healing for us, and we ended our time by lifting our drinks and wishing each other well.
This year I chose the word, awaken, as my focus for 2020. The word has led me to reconsider other templates I have held as true, including my understanding of the Bible. The more I read and learn about the Bible’s symbolism, the culture and time of the writings, and the underlying circumstances behind the passages, I find the Bible to be more revealing, inspirational, helpful, loving, and sacred to me. My old template of the Bible is giving way to a more expansive and universal understanding, and I find it even more profound, spiritual, and alive!
There is a story in the Bible about Peter having a vision (see Acts 10:9-16). He is starting to pray when he sees this vision of a large sheet coming down from heaven, holding all kinds of animals together. A voice tells him to “kill and eat.” The rules of Peter’s day were very strict about what foods were unclean. Peter wants to please God, and to kill and eat some of these animals would have broken a holy law! But God reveals to Peter that this law was to be set aside and in this way, Peter could honor a meal offered by someone of a different culture, and in turn, foster love and community amid diversity.
Our unique life experiences – and with God’s help, the insights we glean from them – become our personal teachers. We are always being invited to expand with the universe and the expansive love of God, and this often involves changing our minds about issues, changing our attitudes about situations, or changing our templates about truth. As our minds expand in new awareness and understanding, our hearts can expand in love and grace for all people and all of life.
I am beginning to see how God has often used my life experiences to awaken and expand my understanding. Several of my long-held social templates have been surrendered with my new understanding of LGTBQ people (see One Mom’s Journey to Joy), my understanding of racism (broken systems continue to oppress and Black Lives do Matter), and my understanding of healthier pro-life policies (over anti-abortion laws). Most surprisingly, through these new ways of understanding, my life-long, right-leaning template has become a liberal left.
I still have such a long way to go, but I find that when I am able to increase my understanding and discard my obsolete templates, my joy increases. As I become more liberal with all of my life – liberal with my love, generosity, forgiveness, politics, and yes, even taxes – I feel more liberated myself. Jesus always tells us, “Do not fear.” My fear lessens each time I choose love, grace, and generosity, while trusting in God’s infinite provision and mercy for me.
May God keep inviting me to rethink my templates, keep expanding me even when I feel uncomfortable, and always, always, keep moving me toward greater unity and love.
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36 NRSV)
(Photo by Karen, at Maumee Bay State Park, Ohio. Notice the moon!)
Cairn #4: A Symbol of Connection
The cairn as a symbol of connection.
We shall walk together on this path of life, for all things are part of the universe and are connected with each other to form one whole unity.
~Maria Montessori
For me, the deepest beauty found in cairns is the bond it forms between hikers. There is a special relationship between the hiker who served as the cairn creator, all the hikers who have since passed by and left the cairn untouched, and all the hikers yet to come. When I see delicately balanced cairns still standing on paths or beaches, I am touched by the respect others give them. This serves to remind me that we are all connected, and that perhaps there is a special unity among hikers, as we honor those who have gone before us as well as those who will come after us.
The cairn was created to cherish a moment or mark a location, and also to guide and bless those who follow. It continues to offer us grace and encouragement, even though the hiker who made the cairn may be long gone. In this time of social distancing, what a gift we have in the awareness that we can still remain connected beyond time and space. Cairns represent community, they symbolize connection, and we honor both as we appreciate them – and leave them as a blessing for others.
I recently learned about a phenomenon called Quantum Entanglement. In (my) simplest understanding, there are energy fields that exist between particles, and this energy continues to influence the particles even after they have been separated. An action performed on one will affect the other – even if one is on earth and the other on the moon! We are all connected, more than we can imagine. Our interactions, our words, and our thoughts might create waves of energy that make an impact, even over great distances. (Think of the times we hear from someone and we say, “I was JUST thinking about you!”)
Carrying a stone from the bottom of the valley to be placed on top of an existing cairn has become part of Scottish folklore and custom. Over time, cairns have grown into large mounds and are an intriguing and curious sight. An ancient Scottish blessing, “Cuiridh mi clach air do charn” means “I will put a stone on your cairn”.1
Every act of kindness, every bit of care for our earth, every prayer said, every cairn created, will create positive energy waves that may make a greater difference than we can even dream. I am reminded of the time after my first miscarriage, when my friend Rick went to Mass and lit a candle for me. The tenderness of his gesture brought tears. I was so deeply comforted to know that after Rick left the Mass, my candle remained, along with his spirit of care and concern, the community of other candles, and the prayers said for us all.
Paul’s words from prison to the people of Colossae remind us of our spiritual connection beyond physical presence:
For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, and I rejoice to see your morale and the firmness of your faith in Christ.
(Colossians 2:5 NRSV)
(As you place your stone today, consider these words) “Today I place this stone on my cairn and lovingly bless this person…”
Connecting God,
I place this stone with an incredulous awareness of your deep connection with me and all of humanity. May I carry this holy connection with the people I love, with the friends who are doing this with me, and with all people near and far. Today, may I especially join with you in surrounding (this person)… with your love, comfort, peace, and joy. Remind me of our universal humanity, God. Remind me that all of us are your beloved children. Amen.
(This post is dedicated to all the friends who have touched my life with love. You will always remain with me, no matter the time or distance between us. Thank you!)
Next week’s cairn theme will be A Memorial Marker.
1https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/
Photo credit: Cairn Gorm Summit Cairn, Scotland © Nick Bramhall / Flickr
Five Minute Friday: YOUR
The word YOUR
is the path on which
we move from MY
to become OUR.
My life
my vocation
my gifts
my finances
my blessings
my time
my world
have all been graciously given from you, God.
Help me to find the true ‘possessive perspective’…
Your life
your vocation
your gifts
your finances
your blessings
your time
your world
So that all I have been graciously given may be shared as
Our life
our vocation
our gifts
our finances
our blessings
our time
our world
Together
(Five Minute Friday is an online writing community. Each week, we are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. To join with us or to read other posts, I encourage you to follow the link below the image.)
Cairn #3: A Course Correction
The cairn as a course correction,
placing us on a better path to our final destination.
Mistakes have the power to turn you
into something better than you were before.
(Unknown)
When I began this series, I didn’t have all of the information on cairns that I do now. Recently, Jim and two other dear friends shared an article from a local newspaper with me. The article, “Leave Those Stones Alone,”1 provided information about the harm that novice cairn builders can cause.
One problem, in which misplaced cairns take hikers down wrong or unsafe trails, was mentioned in my previous post, Cairn #2: A Guide for Our Path. Other concerns included: the safety of hikers who may reach for stones near snakes or scorpions; the environmental damage of undoing the habitats of birds, insects, and plants that thrive near rocks; or the destabilization of the soil in areas prone to erosion. Finally, there can be harm to the cultural understanding, symbolism, or local traditions of cairns when they are changed or moved in any way.
After reading the article, I felt discouraged about this series. Would I be contributing to these problems by inviting people to build cairns? I am hopeful that those of you who are building cairns will be mindful of these concerns. Most of us will not be building along remote paths, or moving established cairns, or using rocks that are not already loose. Regardless, this information is good for us to know.
Today’s cairn is the course correction. When we have somehow strayed from the correct path, the cairn remains to guide us back, keeping us from venturing into further trouble. We may have simply missed a sign, or gradually veered off course, or taken a wrong turn. The helpful cairn then reveals our missteps and returns us to the right path. This news article about cairns serves as a “course correction” by giving us the information we need in order to respect and honor them.
There are times when course corrections can feel like criticism. My pastor friend Chrysanne once kindly reminded me that criticism should first be received as information. Is any part of the criticism untrue and therefore not applicable to me? On the other hand, is any part of the criticism true and beneficial for me to know? When we learn to set aside our pride and initial hurt, we can begin to look for the hidden gems waiting to inform and mature us.
I believe we are always trying to do our best. We strive to do the right things, to live with integrity, to be good people, to follow God in all that we do. But we are works in progress, travelers on unknown adventures. Aren’t most of our mistakes simply because we didn’t have all the information we needed at that time? Because we just didn’t “know” better?
We can be gratefully relieved that God understands we are works in progress. God knows that we continue to learn and mature from our experiences, observations, and insights throughout life. God forgives our mistakes and also provides the cairns of correction. Together with God and one another, we keep moving forward on our journey toward wisdom and understanding. We can welcome all of our course-correcting cairns along the way with humble appreciation.
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
but one who rejects a rebuke goes astray.
(Proverbs 10:17 NRSV)
(As you place your rock, consider these words.) “This stone is to encourage me to be attentive to any course corrections I may need this week…”
All-knowing God,
Oh, how I thank you for your constant love, even when I wander or lose my way. As I continue my journey as your beloved but imperfect child, increase my clarity and wisdom. Show me where I may be straying, reveal what I need to learn, guide me to your perfect way. Help me to welcome your correction with an open heart and humble gratitude. Amen.
Next week’s cairn focus will be A Symbol of Connection.
1The article originally appeared in The Washington Post, written by Sunny Fitzgerald.
Photo by Filip Toroński on Unsplash
Five Minute Friday: Church
Two years ago, Jim began serving as a pastor of a small Lutheran church here in West Virginia. This faith community has faced some difficult challenges and trials, so there are very few people left. Our leaders recently decided to sell the church building and to become a “church without walls.”
What I find beautiful, loving and faithful, is that the leadership team has chosen not to keep the money from the sale of the building as a way to fund our future ministry together. They plan to set aside enough for three years and to donate the rest for the good of the community around us. So far, several other churches and social agencies have been gifted with chairs, cupboards, shelves, books, sacred icons, and other furniture. When the building sells, we will generously share the funds with other compassionate social agencies, too.
This is a time of great changes and challenges. Our dear folks have chosen to look at these hardships and, instead of trying to secure a comfortable and secure future for ourselves, to mostly give ourselves away.
To me, this is church. This is faith. In our times of difficulties and uncertainty, we may be tempted to hoard and keep. We may be tempted to cling and cry. Or we can choose to make good, to share what we can, to trust God with our future, and to generously love one another with that same love of Christ we have so graciously received ourselves.
(This post is part of an online writing community, Five Minute Fridays, hosted by Kate Motaung. You may find more blog posts and inspiration at her site shown under the image.)
You Are a Drop in the Bucket
My daily journal writing generally follows the same format. I record and review what happened the day before, and then reflect on any lessons or insights I have learned. I finish by asking God, “What would you have me know today?” While this routine has provided me with a treasured keepsake of memories, it has also become an essential centering practice for my day ahead.
But every so often I become quite anxious and sad about the troubles of the world, so my words spill out into several paragraphs of frustration, grief, and anger. Yesterday was one such day. I then followed this rant with my daily question, “God, what would you have me know today?” This is the surprising answer I received:
“You cannot fix this, Karen.”
At first, these words hurt! My deep sorrow and sense of futility grew. But as I continued to think about this answer, I gradually began to feel freer… and lighter.
The social, political, economic, and environmental troubles of the world are complex and deep-seated, with no simple solutions. Each time I feel compelled to address or solve these problems, their size and complexity often overwhelm and then immobilize me. I sigh, shrug, and resign myself that there is probably nothing I can do; my actions would only be “a drop in the bucket.”
With yesterday’s words, God began to free me of the burden of fixing, so I could carry the task of helping. This new perspective gave me the freedom and optimism to do what I can, while releasing to God what I cannot.
What can I do? If I bless one person each day I will have blessed 365 lives in one year. If I live my life with gracious care, generosity, and compassion, my example may inspire another to live this way, too. If I donate to an organization that supports worthy purposes, my meager funds will combine with the donations of many others. If I promote and vote for leaders who will work to care for all people and preserve God’s creation, my vote will join with the votes of many others who seek the same ideals.
We are all “drops in the bucket,” as the expression goes. Oh, some people may make a bigger splash or provide more water than the rest of us. But every single drop is needed – ours included – to completely fill the bucket of abundant life for everyone. Each of us has been created to live as one small drop of God’s universal goodness and love. May we learn to embrace and humbly live out this small but holy calling. And together, may we fill this earthly bucket to overflowing – with rivers of love, justice, compassion, and care – for ALL of God’s creation.
Photo by David Becker on Unsplash
Cairn #2: A Guide for Our Path
The cairn as a guide for our path.
“Hikers use cairns as a form of navigation by placing loose stones in small piles and adding as time goes. This however has been of great concern as inexperienced hikers have unwittingly disrupted the cairns which confuses more experienced hikers in the Scottish back country who solely depend on cairns for guidance back.”1
The cairns Jim and I have seen are usually along well-worn paths. I wonder if we would be able to trust a cairn that indicated we should turn from the wide, well-traveled path to follow a narrow, unclear one. Would we have enough confidence to follow our guiding cairn? Would we have enough courage to go in that direction, when the wide and worn path seems to be safer and surer?
We would feel more confident if we knew who placed the cairn, wouldn’t we?
If we knew that the cairn was placed by an experienced hiker – one who is familiar with the area, who knows the terrain, gradient, and challenges of the path, who has walked this trail and tried other ones – we would have more confidence about this new path.
Or if we knew that the cairn was placed by a caring friend who knows us well – one who wants to help us find our way, who understands which routes are better suited for us, who knows our strengths and preferences – we could more fully trust this cairn’s new direction.
Today we thank God for our mentors, for the cairn-placers who have loved and guided us along our life’s way. Some mentors have taught us with gracious words of wisdom, others have inspired us with their excellent way of living. They have walked this path before us and cared enough to share their insights and help for our journeys. Their examples and experiences have become guiding cairns for ours. Good mentors are precious gifts of God.
In Christ, we have our most helpful mentor. He has both the gifts of wisdom and experience, as well as his intimate knowledge of us. Jesus has walked this path before us. He also knows us very well. He will provide exactly what we need to find our way, in the best way for us to do so.
Today we place our stone in gratitude for the cairn builders who took the time to mark our path and guide the way – for us, and for those who will follow. We especially thank Jesus, who has journeyed before us and who accompanies us even now, providing cairns to direct our steps all along the way.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you.
He will not fail you or abandon you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (AMP)
(As you place this stone consider these words.) “This stone is to assure me of Christ’s continual guidance and direction, especially in this area of my life…”
All-knowing and guiding God,
I place this rock with gratitude for all of the ways you have directed me along my life’s way. You have guided me with your words, in the life of Jesus, through your Spirit within, from my experiences, and by the kind and generous mentors in my life. May this stone remind me that you will lead me when I am attentive and watchful, and you will forgive and restore me when I am not. Enable me also to build helpful and hopeful cairns for others, as a mentor and a friend. Amen.
Next week’s cairn focus will be The Course Correction
1https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/
Photo by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash
Five Minute Friday: Could
Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is the word, COULD. To me, could feels like an invitation, a possibility…
How could I make the most of this day?
How could I know peace in the middle of uncertainty?
How could I bring joy to someone who is sad?
How could I dream beyond the mundane?
How could I discover what lies beyond my vision?
How could I find wisdom simply by being still?
How could I explore a new way of being?
How could I become more than I imagine?
With each new question, I begin to see that another word for could is
GOD.
(For more information about Five Minute Fridays and to read other blogs, you may visit the link below the image!)
Cairn #1: A Marker of Significance
The cairn as a symbol of designation,
a sacred moment noticed and set apart.
“The sacred moments, the moments of miracle,
are often the everyday moments.”
~Frederick Beuchner
It was a difficult and unsettled time for my children, as their dad and I were going through divorce proceedings. Everything about their lives had changed, and everything had changed without their consent. While we were reeling and reacting to a new and unfamiliar life, two kind and generous friends offered us their lovely lakeside condo for a few days. The kids and I were able to have some much-needed time away, time to relax and regroup a bit.
The first night we were there, my son and I stepped out on the balcony to look at the stars. They were so bright and plentiful in the deep darkness! As we stood there in the silence, the magnificence of the universe arrayed before us, I quietly said to him, “We will always remember this moment.” Those words introduced a holiness, a sacred blessing to the night. Even in our heartache and upheaval, we stood there together and sensed deep peace and awe. Years later, we still recall that moment with gratitude and even reverence.
Hikers or climbers who pause to build cairns or set additional stones are designating that spot or moment as special in some way.
A cairn site has four main purposes. The first is the marking of a grave or in memory of a loved one in their passing. The second is its use by climbers as a symbol of their success in reaching of the summit of a mountain. Thirdly, a cairn is used as a form of a path specifically across glaciers or barren, stony terrain. Lastly, a cairn has been used as a sea marker to help mariners determine their location.1
When dedicated hikers add a stone or build a cairn, they are inviting us to notice a new route, remember a moment or person, or simply appreciate the beauty of creation. The cairn designates the area as uniquely set apart – giving it more significance than we would normally notice – and the site becomes more sacred and precious.
In the same way, when we begin to recognize that God is present, filling each moment with inspiration and hope, and offering unfailing love and goodness, all moments become holy ones. All places become sacred spaces.
Whatever you are feeling today, whatever you are experiencing, how might you offer your first rock to designate this time as sacred and holy? How might you regard this new journey as a divine one? In the Old Testament, there are numerous times when the faithful would build altars in the middle of the wilderness. This may be a wilderness time for you. Is it time to build an altar – to recognize the presence of God, even here in this moment?
Then Jacob woke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place—and I did not know it!” And he was afraid, and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.” So Jacob rose early in the morning, and he took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.
Genesis 28:16-18 (NRSV)
As you place your rock to begin your cairn, consider these words:
“This is a moment I will remember as sacred, because…”
Prayer:
Holy and awesome God,
I place this first rock with holy intention. May it become a sacred space and a holy place. May it serve to remind me that you are present, within and all around me. In your presence I can find every moment, every part of creation, every journey as sacred and meaningful. Help me to notice the divine. Help me to notice YOU.
Amen.
Next week’s cairn focus will be: A Guide for Our Path
1https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/
Photo by Karen, at Hocking Hills State Park
Simply Soul Searching 