Simply Soul Searching
HOW IS GOD LOVING ME – AND WHERE IS GOD LEADING ME?
Five Minute Friday: Church
Two years ago, Jim began serving as a pastor of a small Lutheran church here in West Virginia. This faith community has faced some difficult challenges and trials, so there are very few people left. Our leaders recently decided to sell the church building and to become a “church without walls.”
What I find beautiful, loving and faithful, is that the leadership team has chosen not to keep the money from the sale of the building as a way to fund our future ministry together. They plan to set aside enough for three years and to donate the rest for the good of the community around us. So far, several other churches and social agencies have been gifted with chairs, cupboards, shelves, books, sacred icons, and other furniture. When the building sells, we will generously share the funds with other compassionate social agencies, too.
This is a time of great changes and challenges. Our dear folks have chosen to look at these hardships and, instead of trying to secure a comfortable and secure future for ourselves, to mostly give ourselves away.
To me, this is church. This is faith. In our times of difficulties and uncertainty, we may be tempted to hoard and keep. We may be tempted to cling and cry. Or we can choose to make good, to share what we can, to trust God with our future, and to generously love one another with that same love of Christ we have so graciously received ourselves.
(This post is part of an online writing community, Five Minute Fridays, hosted by Kate Motaung. You may find more blog posts and inspiration at her site shown under the image.)
You Are a Drop in the Bucket
My daily journal writing generally follows the same format. I record and review what happened the day before, and then reflect on any lessons or insights I have learned. I finish by asking God, “What would you have me know today?” While this routine has provided me with a treasured keepsake of memories, it has also become an essential centering practice for my day ahead.
But every so often I become quite anxious and sad about the troubles of the world, so my words spill out into several paragraphs of frustration, grief, and anger. Yesterday was one such day. I then followed this rant with my daily question, “God, what would you have me know today?” This is the surprising answer I received:
“You cannot fix this, Karen.”
At first, these words hurt! My deep sorrow and sense of futility grew. But as I continued to think about this answer, I gradually began to feel freer… and lighter.
The social, political, economic, and environmental troubles of the world are complex and deep-seated, with no simple solutions. Each time I feel compelled to address or solve these problems, their size and complexity often overwhelm and then immobilize me. I sigh, shrug, and resign myself that there is probably nothing I can do; my actions would only be “a drop in the bucket.”
With yesterday’s words, God began to free me of the burden of fixing, so I could carry the task of helping. This new perspective gave me the freedom and optimism to do what I can, while releasing to God what I cannot.
What can I do? If I bless one person each day I will have blessed 365 lives in one year. If I live my life with gracious care, generosity, and compassion, my example may inspire another to live this way, too. If I donate to an organization that supports worthy purposes, my meager funds will combine with the donations of many others. If I promote and vote for leaders who will work to care for all people and preserve God’s creation, my vote will join with the votes of many others who seek the same ideals.
We are all “drops in the bucket,” as the expression goes. Oh, some people may make a bigger splash or provide more water than the rest of us. But every single drop is needed – ours included – to completely fill the bucket of abundant life for everyone. Each of us has been created to live as one small drop of God’s universal goodness and love. May we learn to embrace and humbly live out this small but holy calling. And together, may we fill this earthly bucket to overflowing – with rivers of love, justice, compassion, and care – for ALL of God’s creation.
Photo by David Becker on Unsplash
Cairn #2: A Guide for Our Path
The cairn as a guide for our path.
“Hikers use cairns as a form of navigation by placing loose stones in small piles and adding as time goes. This however has been of great concern as inexperienced hikers have unwittingly disrupted the cairns which confuses more experienced hikers in the Scottish back country who solely depend on cairns for guidance back.”1
The cairns Jim and I have seen are usually along well-worn paths. I wonder if we would be able to trust a cairn that indicated we should turn from the wide, well-traveled path to follow a narrow, unclear one. Would we have enough confidence to follow our guiding cairn? Would we have enough courage to go in that direction, when the wide and worn path seems to be safer and surer?
We would feel more confident if we knew who placed the cairn, wouldn’t we?
If we knew that the cairn was placed by an experienced hiker – one who is familiar with the area, who knows the terrain, gradient, and challenges of the path, who has walked this trail and tried other ones – we would have more confidence about this new path.
Or if we knew that the cairn was placed by a caring friend who knows us well – one who wants to help us find our way, who understands which routes are better suited for us, who knows our strengths and preferences – we could more fully trust this cairn’s new direction.
Today we thank God for our mentors, for the cairn-placers who have loved and guided us along our life’s way. Some mentors have taught us with gracious words of wisdom, others have inspired us with their excellent way of living. They have walked this path before us and cared enough to share their insights and help for our journeys. Their examples and experiences have become guiding cairns for ours. Good mentors are precious gifts of God.
In Christ, we have our most helpful mentor. He has both the gifts of wisdom and experience, as well as his intimate knowledge of us. Jesus has walked this path before us. He also knows us very well. He will provide exactly what we need to find our way, in the best way for us to do so.
Today we place our stone in gratitude for the cairn builders who took the time to mark our path and guide the way – for us, and for those who will follow. We especially thank Jesus, who has journeyed before us and who accompanies us even now, providing cairns to direct our steps all along the way.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you.
He will not fail you or abandon you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (AMP)
(As you place this stone consider these words.) “This stone is to assure me of Christ’s continual guidance and direction, especially in this area of my life…”
All-knowing and guiding God,
I place this rock with gratitude for all of the ways you have directed me along my life’s way. You have guided me with your words, in the life of Jesus, through your Spirit within, from my experiences, and by the kind and generous mentors in my life. May this stone remind me that you will lead me when I am attentive and watchful, and you will forgive and restore me when I am not. Enable me also to build helpful and hopeful cairns for others, as a mentor and a friend. Amen.
Next week’s cairn focus will be The Course Correction
1https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/
Photo by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash
Five Minute Friday: Could
Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is the word, COULD. To me, could feels like an invitation, a possibility…
How could I make the most of this day?
How could I know peace in the middle of uncertainty?
How could I bring joy to someone who is sad?
How could I dream beyond the mundane?
How could I discover what lies beyond my vision?
How could I find wisdom simply by being still?
How could I explore a new way of being?
How could I become more than I imagine?
With each new question, I begin to see that another word for could is
GOD.
(For more information about Five Minute Fridays and to read other blogs, you may visit the link below the image!)
Cairn #1: A Marker of Significance
The cairn as a symbol of designation,
a sacred moment noticed and set apart.
“The sacred moments, the moments of miracle,
are often the everyday moments.”
~Frederick Beuchner
It was a difficult and unsettled time for my children, as their dad and I were going through divorce proceedings. Everything about their lives had changed, and everything had changed without their consent. While we were reeling and reacting to a new and unfamiliar life, two kind and generous friends offered us their lovely lakeside condo for a few days. The kids and I were able to have some much-needed time away, time to relax and regroup a bit.
The first night we were there, my son and I stepped out on the balcony to look at the stars. They were so bright and plentiful in the deep darkness! As we stood there in the silence, the magnificence of the universe arrayed before us, I quietly said to him, “We will always remember this moment.” Those words introduced a holiness, a sacred blessing to the night. Even in our heartache and upheaval, we stood there together and sensed deep peace and awe. Years later, we still recall that moment with gratitude and even reverence.
Hikers or climbers who pause to build cairns or set additional stones are designating that spot or moment as special in some way.
A cairn site has four main purposes. The first is the marking of a grave or in memory of a loved one in their passing. The second is its use by climbers as a symbol of their success in reaching of the summit of a mountain. Thirdly, a cairn is used as a form of a path specifically across glaciers or barren, stony terrain. Lastly, a cairn has been used as a sea marker to help mariners determine their location.1
When dedicated hikers add a stone or build a cairn, they are inviting us to notice a new route, remember a moment or person, or simply appreciate the beauty of creation. The cairn designates the area as uniquely set apart – giving it more significance than we would normally notice – and the site becomes more sacred and precious.
In the same way, when we begin to recognize that God is present, filling each moment with inspiration and hope, and offering unfailing love and goodness, all moments become holy ones. All places become sacred spaces.
Whatever you are feeling today, whatever you are experiencing, how might you offer your first rock to designate this time as sacred and holy? How might you regard this new journey as a divine one? In the Old Testament, there are numerous times when the faithful would build altars in the middle of the wilderness. This may be a wilderness time for you. Is it time to build an altar – to recognize the presence of God, even here in this moment?
Then Jacob woke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place—and I did not know it!” And he was afraid, and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.” So Jacob rose early in the morning, and he took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.
Genesis 28:16-18 (NRSV)
As you place your rock to begin your cairn, consider these words:
“This is a moment I will remember as sacred, because…”
Prayer:
Holy and awesome God,
I place this first rock with holy intention. May it become a sacred space and a holy place. May it serve to remind me that you are present, within and all around me. In your presence I can find every moment, every part of creation, every journey as sacred and meaningful. Help me to notice the divine. Help me to notice YOU.
Amen.
Next week’s cairn focus will be: A Guide for Our Path
1https://www.scotland.com/blog/cairns-of-scotland/
Photo by Karen, at Hocking Hills State Park
A Different Five Minute Friday: Where Do You Go in the Silence?
Early each Friday morning, I awaken and immediately check my cell phone for the latest prompt from Kate’s Five Minute Friday online community. I also check to see if Andrew’s latest post is up- he is always the first to write, even as he battles terminal cancer. I then begin mulling my ideas from the prompt we have been given.
This morning there is no prompt. I checked Kate’s site and there are no new posts for today. And so my mind begins to wander… is Kate okay? Is Andrew? Did I miss a memo? What has happened to my blogging friends?
Where do YOU go in the silence?
The silence in waiting for the “I am safely home!” text from a loved one who was on the road. The silence in waiting for the test results. The silence when the selection for a career position isn’t yet showing in your email. The silence when an invitation is extended and you have not received a reply.
How often to we go to our worst fears in the silences? How often do our anxious minds wander into all sorts of possibilities we had never even considered before? How often do we begin to assume the worst outcomes are waiting just ahead?
Maybe today is an invitation to choose to travel the path of peace, instead of my usual route to worry or fear.
In the silence, we can turn to the One who already knows the answers and will hold us until we do. In the silence, we can wait for the whisper of God, telling us we are beloved. In the silence, we can feel the embrace of God, assuring us we are treasured. In the silence, we can pray for the ones from whom we hope to hear the good news… the reassuring voice… the answers we need.
Trusting that God goes with us on all of our journeys, we can begin to turn our anxious walks in the silence into more prayerful paths of peace.
*Friends, I just found on the Five Minute Friday Facebook page that she will have a new post next week. Another lesson learned… 🙂
(Week 10) Why Have I Been Struggling…?
In these last few weeks, the silences and struggles to connect with Jesus continued. I knew that I was to keep showing up, keep inviting, and keep waiting. But this morning, I had to ask Jesus, “Why have I been struggling to find a question to ask you?”
Karen, we have already talked about the struggle you have as a writer, with an agenda or purpose to your questions. You have learned how it is better to simply walk with me and wait on me; how you should enter our time together without expectation or agenda.
But here is another obstacle to our conversations. You are struggling with questions because you are afraid I may say something you do not wish to hear. You hesitate to be totally open, to be willing to surrender your life or your plans or your purposes as fully as possible in order to genuinely hear ME.
Following me is also to wait on me, to wait for me. You seem to be struggling with that in recent weeks. Perhaps this is because you are waiting for many things in these recent months. But I am still here in the waiting time. I am always teaching you, humbling you, increasing your patience, helping you listen, and crafting you quietly. When you are feeling frustrated by the waiting you must trust that I am still working.
If you truly want to hear the words and messages that are of me, you will be willing to surrender even good things. You will let go of your goals… your desire to write something beautiful… your longing to bless your readers. And you will simply trust that the words will come in their proper time. You will allow for the silences and moments where nothing seems to be happening. For I am also in the mundane, in the frustration, in the seemingly purposeless moments. Can you sense that I never wane?
My spirit is alive in you. If you truly trust me, you will know that all things are speaking and teaching. You do not even need to seek for I will come to you.
The seeds of inspiration are given by God. We cannot rush their sprouting and growing. We are called to simply nurture the seeds and trust the Giver. I believe I am being invited to wait and nurture for now, so this will be the last of the “Can I Ask You Something?” series. Thank you dear readers, I hope you were blessed!
Cairns for Our Journey (Introduction)
Each new morning, I center myself in God as I walk, pray and ponder. I return home feeling strong and peaceful, refreshed for the day ahead. But in recent months, as the day goes on, the worrisome news keeps coming, and my body and mind begin to grow weary, this peace often gives way to anxiety and worry. I crave the peace of God’s presence so profoundly; I long to be reminded of God’s presence more often.
This longing for regular, visible reminders of the presence of God brought the idea of cairns to my mind. Cairns are piles of stones that serve as memorials or landmarks on hiking paths, mountain summits, and seashores. Jim and I had seen a number of these creative works as we hiked a favorite path in Michigan. Now, as I journey through these current days, I would love to encounter a few spiritual cairns that might remind me of God’s presence along my path.
Over these next ten weeks, I hope you will join me in assembling our own small cairns to serve as centering touchpoints or signposts for our daily journeys. Each Monday, we will spend time with a short reflection and add a rock to our cairns. Our cairns will help bring a certain focus to our days, and may even begin to serve as small altars- as places to present ourselves before God, as places of reverence, sacrament, prayer, surrender, and gratitude.
We will eventually use ten rocks or stones over these next ten weeks- I encourage you to collect them in a way that will bless you! You may want to feel prepared and collect them all at once, or you may enjoy purchasing a set of pretty stones, or you may wish to find a stone each week as a reminder to keep seeking and searching. You might enjoy painting or marking each stone for the specific theme of the week. The theme for next week (our first stone) will be about designation- setting apart this time and place as sacred and holy.
The cairns may be artistic creations or simply humble piles- you decide! Let’s assemble our cairns in visible places where we will regularly be reminded of the goodness of God. Mine will be on the shelf above my desk.
Thank you for joining me on this new journey! I hope you will share photos or comment with inspirations you have along the way. (You may feel more comfortable doing so at my Simply Soul Searching Facebook page.) I am always blessed to hear from you!
My prayers are with you and for you.
Photos are from Unsplash– by David Clode, Rachel Nickerson, and Markus Spiske, respectively. Thank you!
Five Minute Friday: Loud
Our youth group, leaders, and I were preparing a meal to serve our congregation before a Lenten worship service, and I had invited my unique friend Beth* to join us. As our group was happily and busily working, Beth walked into the dining area where people were gathering.
There, Beth had one of her moments. For reasons we don’t understand, she was fearful of a dear, gentle friend who also worked at the church, and she began to curse him. Our work in the kitchen was interrupted when another church member came in, holding Beth’s arm to escort her out the door. She looked at me with wide eyes, silent and scared.
I wrapped my arms around her, explained that she was my friend, and promised I would watch out for her if he would let her stay. He continued to move toward the door. Desperately, I told him that if she left, I would, too. (I was supposed to give the sermon and serve Communion that evening.) He yelled, “I’m tired of your b~!” and took her out.
My pastor was counting on me to serve in his absence, so I reluctantly stayed. With so many inner emotions, I gave the sermon message… and served Communion to the man who had taken her away. After the service, my son and I found Beth outside, and we gathered around her with the laughter that arises from relief.
Later I learned from a few parents that their teens told them about the lesson of love they learned that day. Perhaps this encounter offered more than any lesson I had ever prepared and shared with them.
May I always be loudest in love, in kindness, in compassion… and in forgiveness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Here are some additional posts about my friendship with Beth:
Five Minute Friday: Mercy
A Tribute to Beth
(This post is part of an online writing community, “Five Minute Friday.” We are given a one-word prompt and five minutes to write. I hope you check out the excellent posts at the site listed under the image!)
(Week 9) What Would You Want Me to Write?
On this particular morning I was feeling more peaceful, so I invited Jesus to walk with me for the second time this week. As usual, I sensed that wonderful feeling of overwhelming holiness in his presence. Aware of my struggles with the silence during our last walk, I asked him to help me set aside my writer’s heart and truly listen.
But then I realized that I am a writer. I can’t ignore my writer’s heart, for writing is part of who I am. I felt a new peace in understanding that Jesus speaks to all of me, including my desire to write for others. And so I asked, “Jesus, what would you want me to write for my blog readers?”
Keep writing of the things you have experienced, the things that you know to be true about me. The world needs to hear more of these personal stories of my love and my active presence in each and every life. I hope that more people will share their own stories of peace and hope that come from my loving work in their lives, as well.
I would like your readers to truly know that I am present here and now, with all of you. I will always be your companion and friend, your encouragement and comforter. And even as I am already with you, you will sense my presence more profoundly when you actually invite me and open yourself to my presence. Come to me, seek me.
“I know that you, as Christ, are always present with me. I know that you, as the Spirit, speak to me. I know that you, Jesus, fully understand us because you have experienced all of this earthly life, too.”
Jesus went on…
I would like you and your readers to know that you can come to me as you are. Are you a writer? Seek me with your earnest desire to hear and write my words, as well as your doubts about doing so. Are you a parent? Seek me with all of your joys and frustrations, hopes and concerns for your family. Are you a busy worker with a full schedule, active career? Seek me in the commutes, the bathroom breaks, the quiet moments before you sleep.
Are you embarrassed, humiliated, angry, annoyed, anxious, sad, confused, resentful, or overwhelmed? You do not need to wait until a better time, until you are more perfect or ready or suitable. Come to me as you are, because I am already with you…
just waiting for you to see.
(Next week’s post will be the last of this series- I hope you have been blessed by these conversations. And a new weekly series will begin on Monday! I’m very excited- and hope you will be, too!)
Photos by Karen 🙂
Simply Soul Searching 